Then I would argue we need a redefinition of the word "terrorist," or a new term altogether.
What the US is fighting is very simple: the INTENDED use of violence and threats AGAINST CIVILIANS to intimidate or coerce, esp. for political purposes
That change means two things:
1: If a suicide bomber attacks a military establishment, it's warfare. If a suicide bomber attacks a civilian establishment, it's terrorism. The government has the right to fight against both. But when we criticize "terrorism," we specifically refer to the second. This also separates terrorists from so-called "freedom fighters."
2: "Intended" means that it can't be an accident. A bomb that misses its target and hits a wedding doesn't mean the US is a terrorist. A direct US attack against a wedding is terrorist.
And one more thing... Who ever said military-level foreign relations WASN'T hypocritical? At the military level, ideology, politics, and all your textbook analysis go out the window, in place of simple caveman logic: That guy gonna kill me! I kill that guy first! Ooga ooga!
I'm not saying that is a bad thing. If we accept that the use of military force is justified... then we have to accept that our ability to understand warfare through a non-military lens is ineffective.