What do you get when you cross a cat with a gallon of milk?

Meow!

> Hon wrote:

> i dont get it fugnug

The cat meows at you because it is thirsty... You have to have a cat...

Laaaaaame =p

....a man went into a pub called "The Crying Donkey" and after ordering a pint he asked the barman why they were called "The Crying Donkey".....the barman told him there was a donkey in the stables at the back who has not stopped crying since they got it several years before, then he added they have a special "deal" of free beer for a whole year to the person who can stop the donkey from crying. The man finished his pint and told the barman he would give it a try and went out to the donkey, after 5mins he returned and the barman could hear the donkey laughing so he gave the man the first (of his many to come) beers and the man drank it and said goodbye. Several weeks later the man was back in the area and decided to return to claim some more free beer, on entering the pub and ordering a beer he had noticed the pub had been renamed "The Laughing Donkey" and the barman informed him that whoever can stop the donkey from laughing (because it was getting ill now from laughing uncontollably for too long) could have a lifetimes free beer!....so the man went back out to the stables and returned about 5mins later.....the barman asked how he had done it before he was willing to give him his free beer for life.....the man replied "o'h it was easy.....the first time i told the donkey my willy was bigger than his and the second time i proved it!"

....How many members of U2 does it take to change a lightbulb?

....one just bono and he holds it while the world revolves around him

....Little Tommy was at home following another long day at junior school, he sat at the table and stared sadly into his tomato soup, when his mother finally plucked up the courage to ask what was wrong with her little angel....Tommy said (between tears and sniffs) "...i....i....it's not fair mummy....all the other children get their questions right and are allowed to go home 15minutes earlier than me!"....Tommy's dad remembered the schools "quiz" at the end of each day and tried to comfort his son by giving him some aniseed balls in a little paper bag...."there, there son" said Tommy's dad "remember our family motto...."you don't have to be the winner to win"....little Tommy smiles and wipes away his solitary tear slowly meandering down his cheek "okay daddy....good night to you both" said Tommy and he went to bed and fell asleep still clutching his little bags of sweetys.
The next day started and carried on as usual breakfast, first break, lunch, second break and then fifteen minutes before the end of the last class the teacher called everyone to be quiet and said "now class here is todays question" to which all the children clapped hysterically, unfortunately so did little Tommy and he dropped them to the floor and two rolled out of the bag and towards the teacher!.....the teacher reached down and picked them up and looked at little Tommy and said "....and who's got black balls?" to which Tommy shouted out "Barack Obama!....miss"

Like you were never gone Deci. Keep your too obvious flint jokes to yourself.

Two men were out hunting one day, when suddenly one of the men fell to the ground and was not breathing.  The other man pulled out his cell phone and called 911.  The operator asked what the emergency was.

The man replied "I'm hunting in the woods and my friend just collapsed, I think he is dead!  Can you tell me what to do?"

The 911 operator told him "Sir, stay calm, the first think we need to do is make sure he really is dead."

"Hold on" he said.  A few seconds later the operator hears a gun shot.  The man then says on the phone "Ok, I'm sure now.  Now what?""