The last one probably made me laugh the most.

Cats > Dogs any day!

i quite like it

All very good, thanks Einstein.  I tried to get a jokes page started in my last fam, and well, it didn't take off very well.  How about we all start sharing some of our own here?

Here's a short one:

A priest a rabbi, and a jew walk into a bar.  The bartender says:  "What is this a joke or something?"

I've got plenty more, I love good humor.

I just wanted to see if others would follow suit before typing out something longer.  But if you insist, here's something a little better:

A man goes into a bar and orders two beers.  The bartender gives him a strange look being that he is by himself.  The man says "One of' 'em is for me and one of 'em is for my sick brother back in the old country."  The bartender gives the man his two beers, he drinks them, then orders two more.  This goes on all night, for the next few days, and even into the next couple of week, until one day the man comes in, looking sad and depressed, and just orders one beer. The bartender says "Oh no!  It's your brother isn't it?"  The man tells the bartender "No, my brother is fine.  I just had to give up drinking."

Those jokes have all been terrible.

What do you get if you turn a dog into a cat?

A CAT!

Don't worry, I understood but I find it amusing how it only served as encouragement

"A priest a rabbi, and a jew walk into a bar.  The bartender says:  "What is this a joke or something?""

The Rabbi wasn't a Jew?

Bah, it's all for good fun, I don't get discouraged so easily.

One day I was walking through the park, when I spotted an old man sitting on a park bench crying.  I approached him and said "Old man.  Why are you sitting here crying?"  The old man replied "Son, I am 85 years old.  I am married to a beautiful  25 year old woman.  She cooks for me.  She cleans for me.  And you would not believe the things she does for me in the bedroom."  I asked the old man "Why on earth would you be sitting here crying then? It sounds like you have it great!"  The old man looked up at me, tears in his eyes and said "Because I can't remember where I live!"

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A gorgeous woman went to a gynecologist. The doctor took one look at her and all his professionalism flew out the window. He was overwhelmed with passion and desire and immediately told her to get undressed.

After she had disrobed, the doctor began to stroke her thigh. While doing
so, he said, "Do you know what I am doing?"

"Yes," she replied, "You're checking for abrasions and dermatological
abnormalities.

"That's right," said the doctor. He then began to fondle her breasts. "Do
you know what I'm doing now?" he asked.

"Yes," she said, "You're checking for lumps which might indicate breast
cancer."

"Correct," replied the doctor.

Then he mounted his patient and started having sexual intercourse with her.

He asked, "Do you know what I'm doing now?"

"Yes," she said, "You're getting herpes.... which is why I'm here."

                                                            ------------------

A kid comes home from school and says to his mom,

"Mom I've got a problem." She says, "Tell me." He tells her that the boys at school are using two words he doesn't understand. She asks him what they are. He tells her "well, pussy and bitch." She says, "Oh that's no big deal, pussy is a cat like our little Mittens, and bitch is a female dog like our
Sandy."

He thanks her and goes to visit dad in the workshop in the basement. He says to his dad, "Dad the boys at school are using words I don't know and I asked mom and I don't think she told me the exact meaning." Dad says, "Son, I told you never to go to mom with these matters, she can't handle them.

What are the words?" He tells him...pussy and bitch. Dad says, "OK," and pulls a Playboy down from the shelf, takes a marker and circles the pubic area of the centerfold and says, "son, everything inside this circle is pussy."

"OK, dad, so what's a bitch?" "Son," he says, "everything outside that circle."

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a male cat saw a pretty looking female cat.
what did he say to her?

> Tia wrote:

> How many Freudian Psychologists does it take to change a lightbulb?

-- Two, one to change the lightbulb and one to hold the penis... I mean ladder. <

Genius.