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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

Centuries ago, the first mate of a war ship ran up to the captain and said "Captain!  There is an enemy ship approaching!"  The captain camly replied to the first mate "Bring me my red shirt."

The battle ensued, lasting almost the entire day.  And they were victorious, without loosing a single hand in the battle.

Later that night, the first mate approached the captain and asked "Why did you want your red shirt to wear during that battle?"  The captain replied "I knew it would be a bloody fight, and just in case I were injured and bloody, the crew would not see the blood through my red shirt, and they would continue to fight bravely."  The first mate thought this was a brilliant idea.

A few weeks later, the first mate approached the captain yelling "Captain!  There are TEN enemy ships approaching."  The captain simply said "Bring me my brown pants."

I'm not a pheasant feather plucker or a feather plucker's son, but I can pluck a pheasant's feathers till the pheasant plucker comes!

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  • Skoe
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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

> meow~
> cats cant talk dude.

lol

Morbo: Morbo can't understand his teleprompter. He forgot how you say that letter that looks like a man with a hat.
Linda: It's a 't'. It goes "tuh".
Morbo: Hello, little man. I will destroy you!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpP7b2lUxVE

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

you know whats a joke einstein?


your face

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

I know there were a lot of poor jokes in here but yours is even worse sirmikee yikes

Elrohir
"Abstract art is the product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.."

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

A man was fishing one day when he ran out of bait.  He looked over in the grass and saw a snake with a small frog in it's mouth.  He thought to himself "That frog would make good fish bait."  So he reached over, grabbed the snake and took the frog from it's mouth.  Of course this pissed the snake off, and it wrapped it's body around the man's arm.

The man then tought "Now what am I going to do?  If I let him go, he'll just bite me."  The man, thinking quickly grabbed a bottle of moonshine he had with him, forced the snake's mouth open, and poured some down the snake's throat.  The snake relaxed, and the man let it down.  It slithered away.

A few minutes later, the man felt something moving around at his feet.  He looked down, and there was that same snake, with two frogs in it's mouth.

I'm not a pheasant feather plucker or a feather plucker's son, but I can pluck a pheasant's feathers till the pheasant plucker comes!

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31 Reply by ~E

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

Knock knock

-WHO's there?

SOUP!

-Soup Who?

SOUPERMAN big_smile:D:D:D:D

"'******? Worthless things like that,
I never had them for as long as I can remember!"
Evil Dark Ninja Hargora

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32 Reply by ~E

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

A passanger on an airplaine:

"hmm, I wonder where this door goes to-O-O-O-O-o-o-o-o"

big_smile:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
LOLEROFLCOPTERMAO

"'******? Worthless things like that,
I never had them for as long as I can remember!"
Evil Dark Ninja Hargora

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33 Reply by ~E

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

It's something stupid and your screen is looking at it tongue:p:p

"'******? Worthless things like that,
I never had them for as long as I can remember!"
Evil Dark Ninja Hargora

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

It's Funny

Because It's Not

[I wish I could obey forum rules]

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

good jokes

The core joke of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that of course no civilization would develop personal computers with instant remote database recovery, and then waste this technology to find good drinks.
Steve Jobs has ruined this joke.

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

KNOCK KNOCK

whos there?

POLICE

police who?

PUHLEASE LET ME IN, IT IS COLD OUTSIDE.

RETIRED

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

Roses are red.
Violets are blue.
Some poems rhyme.
And some don't.

I'm not a pheasant feather plucker or a feather plucker's son, but I can pluck a pheasant's feathers till the pheasant plucker comes!

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

> KNOCK KNOCK
> whos there?
> POLICE
> police who?
> PUHLEASE LET ME IN, IT IS COLD OUTSIDE.

KNOCK KNOCK

whos there?

LETTUCE

lettuce who?

let-us in, its cold out here!

Morbo: Morbo can't understand his teleprompter. He forgot how you say that letter that looks like a man with a hat.
Linda: It's a 't'. It goes "tuh".
Morbo: Hello, little man. I will destroy you!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpP7b2lUxVE

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

LOL!

KNOCK KNOCK

whos there?

JUSTIN

justin who?

JUST IN TIME, DINNER ALMOST READY.

RETIRED

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

parrot.

"Heh heh heh heh heh heh!"

Metrex

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

who thinks this one's funny?

http://img.4chan.org/b/src/1244978236823.jpg

till the end of time..

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

I rarely find those dishwasher jokes funny. Especially not after the 1,000th.

I'll never know if it was worth the pain, but I still loved it more than anything in the world - it was my life.

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

you know at first i didnt even get it hmm

till the end of time..

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

The teacher at a grade school had asked the students to stand up one at a time and introduce themselves to the class.  About half way through, one of the students stood up and said "Hi, my name is Pee-Pee LeBlanc."  The teacher told him :That's not funny, now tell us your real name".  He said "It is my real name.  My name is Pee-Pee LeBlanc."  The teacher told him "If you don't tell us your real name, I'm going to send you to the principal's office!"  The boy said again"My name is Pee-Pee LeBlanc."  The teacher told him "That's it!  Go see the principal!"

On his way out of the classroom, the boy stopped by his brother's desk and said "Come on Poo-Poo.  You might as well come with me now."

I'm not a pheasant feather plucker or a feather plucker's son, but I can pluck a pheasant's feathers till the pheasant plucker comes!

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45 Reply by Kelivut (edited by Kelivut 21-Jun-2009 04:26:02)

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

I pirate with a peg leg, a hook, and an eye patch walks in to a bar and sits next to a man.

The man asks, "How did you get that peg leg?"

The pirate answers, "Arrr, me mutinous crew threw me overboard n a shark bit me leg off."

The man says, "That must have hurt! How'd you get the hook?"

The pirate says, "Arrr there were a mighty battle and me adversary cut me hand off!"

The man says, "Wow, well how'd you get your eye patch?"

The pirate says, "Arr.. I got seagull droppings in me eye."

The man says suprised, "Seagull droppings put your eye out?!"

The pirate says, "Arrr.. 'twere me first day with the hook."


_________________________________________________________________

What's Obama's favorite vegetable?

















Barackoli

http://media.funlol.com/content/img/hand-egg.jpg

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

One day, Superman was flyin throu the air when he saw Wonder Woman laying down in a field, buck naked and spread eagle.  He thought to himself: "With my super speed, I could fly down there, tap that, and fly off, and she'd never know what happened." And he did.

Wonder Woman sat up and said "What the hell was that?"

The Invisible Man said "I don't know, but my a$$ sure hurts!"

I'm not a pheasant feather plucker or a feather plucker's son, but I can pluck a pheasant's feathers till the pheasant plucker comes!

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

Farrah Fawcett died and went to Heaven.

she begged God to spare all the little children of the world

so He killed Michael Jackson

The core joke of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that of course no civilization would develop personal computers with instant remote database recovery, and then waste this technology to find good drinks.
Steve Jobs has ruined this joke.

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

too soon man

Not many people know this, but I own the first radio in Springfield. Not much on the air then, just Edison reciting the alphabet over and over. "A" he'd say; then "B." "C" would usually follow...

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

A barber gave a haircut to a priest one day. The priest tried to pay for the haircut, but the barber refused, saying, "you do God

I'm not a pheasant feather plucker or a feather plucker's son, but I can pluck a pheasant's feathers till the pheasant plucker comes!

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Re: Omg Jokes!!!!

....Two Nuns are travelling back through Eastern Europe after finishing a convention, on the way there is a loud BANG! and before them (on the bonnet of the car) there appears a vampire, after successfully getting a hold of the car he starts to try and claw his way in through the windscreen, Sister Mary turns to a calm looking Sister maria and says "Sister Maria, Sister Maria there's a vampire, the undead, trying to get into the car!", Sister Maria replies "Not to worry Sister, i filled up the screen wash with Holy Water just turn it on"....so Sister Mary reaches over and presses the button and the slim jet of Holy Water squirts at the vampire....but he is not deterred and instead tries harder to get in...."Sister Maria, Sister Maria" says Sister Mary in a now more rushed tone "It hasn't worked most of it is being blown away by the wind away from it!"...."Not to worry Dear" replied Sister Maria "i tied garlic starnds and silver wire to the windscreen wipers just turn them on!"....after frantically pushing the button the screen wipes began their slow and almost hypnotic journey from left to right to left to right....but with no success again (just a slightly singed cheek!)....Sister Mary was getting quite agitated by now as the screen waqs beginning to crack under the viscious assault it had endured now for more that five minutes and was surely to give way any time now...."Sister Maria, Sister Maria it's nearly through what should i do?" Sister Mary cried out in panic, "Now, Now do not fret just show it your cross!" Sister Maria said....so Sister Mary wound down the window, leaned out and shouted "OI! VAMPY GET LOST!" tongue

....Marijuana: proud sponsors of the snack food industry since it began

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