it says more about this forum not allowing people to express an opinion, than what i actually said.

personally I think [chocolate chip muffins are tastier than moose droppings]

Why am I not allow to express that?

> CanadianTire wrote:

> Nova, grats on being accepted into UBC!! If your into smoking some high- quality pot, UBC is defiantly the place to be (or so I'm told... I'm stuck over here on the other side of the country for now).

Proton, the reason your 'opinion' was blocked is the same reason you can't have pictures of cops beating up gays as your fam pic... it's offensive.

damn... I best change my family pic :S

Hey CT.  Only just noticed this thread.

Anyway, well done on finally accepting yourself.   I knew in my childhood that I was not exactly the "same" as everyone else in regards to sexuality, but took until my middle and late teens to finally accept it.  Despite this, I only told my parents when I was 21 - so there should be pressure on you to go skipping gaily to your parents in skin tight lycra, wearing a tiara, waving a fairy's wand proclaiming "Oh sweetie darling!  I just love sucking on the purple lollypop!  No supping of the wine from the fur tea cup for me, oh noooo!" 

You'll know when the time is right.  And when it is right, there'll be no stopping you.   And don't try too hard to plan out "the" conversation beforehand.  I tried that with my mother and it went horribly wrong, albeit in a very comical way that still makes me chuckle to this day. 

But to reiterate what other people have said, not everyone is accepting at first, and that includes your parents.  Even though they are most likely to eventually be accepting, it will probably take some time.  Parents automatically get ideas and images in their heads of what your life will be like when you grow older.  Mostly, that includes 2.4 children playing in the back garden of some luxurious suburban home, whilst you do a bit of DIY and the wife bakes a cake.  It will take a bit of time for your parents to adjust that image.  How long it will take will depend upon your parents, and you know them better than anyone else.  Perhaps better than anyone else on planet earth. 

But despite that bit of doom and gloom, your parents will come around.  You are their son.  Their love for you should be unconditional, so don't worry and don't fret.  When the time is right, go for it.  The only thing I would strongly emplore you not to do is tell them by leaving a note on the coffee table.  It maybe the safest way out, but that will hurt them.  I was going to try telling my mother through an e-mail.  I'm glad I didn't. 

Anyway, hope this is in someway useful.  If you need to chat to someone, gay man to gay man and all that, you're quite welcome to get my contact details off of Eltara (Lloyd List), Wouter, Primo, or from anyone else that knows me.  In the meantime, read my signature and I wish you good luck.  

@ Archangel

"which is in turn probably the main reason they dont have sex as much"

Being gay does not mean that you don't get much sex or as much sex as heterosexuals.  I am proud to report that me and my boyfriend have a rather active sex life.

bah and I almost forgot my purpose for coming here.

Hey Lat

[I stick my finger all the way in my butt sometimes]

Frenzy
My President is black, infact hes half white so even in a racist mind hes half right

bend over john wayne and take it like a man!!!

Thanks for that post Lat. It's good to know that I'm not the only who is (well, was) desperately seeking safe ways to come out in RL. And I just might take you up on that offer sometime.

"I like oatmeal raisin cookies. You like guys. Big deal. None of that has anything to do with George Bush murdering innocent women and children"
-haha Nolio! I love it! .  if I ever get VIP back, it's going in my sig! And thanks for the funny edit of frenzy's post.

Anyway, I had a sort of scary experience today lol. One of my friends (loudly and in a group of people; some of which I don't even know too well) asked me quite plainly if I was gay. Needless to say, I wasn't about to confirm that in a large group which some strangers. So I sort of wondering now if  shouldn't just tell all my friends as least, as I know some of them do speculate behind my back. The only thing is, the town I live in is only 22,000 people, and I see people from high school at work all the time, and some of them are the biggest kind of homophobes. i just worried that if they find out, it would be awkward at work.

Hecate (By, love the name lol), it's sad to hear that. While my parents aren't deeply religious, they do hold to religious taboos concerning several things, which includes homosexuality. I have come out to another close friend of mine (brining the total to 3 now) but I'm still holding back from just coming out and saying it. I have this group of friends I hang around with pretty much everyday, but I just can't bring myself to tell all them. And several times I've thought of just blurting it out to my parents, and letting things happen as they happen, but I'm on shaky terms with them as it is, and this would probably destroy any chance of ever having with a good relationship with my father. But seeing as I'm already 18, and we barely talk, it's unlikely that will ever be achieved.

As for thanking me, it's hardly deserved. I also feel like I'm going insane... it's also impossible to get private time with my friends who do know, so I'm constantly putting on an act. I just wanted somewhere I could go and be myself, without worry about the consequences, even though that sounds a bit selfish of me.

[EDIT] It's good to know that you've found someone happy with, and that you have a family. Hearing people who have already come out talk about how happy they are now that they've found someone offers a bit hope for the rest of us.

Writing a note or an email is probably the worst thing to do it as it shows that you're not confident with it. That leaves you in a weak position, doubtful about yourself and your christian parents may try to "reeducate" you into a heterosexual instead of dealing with your homosexuality. Leaving no doubt about it could probably be a bit harsher first but will be beneficial on the long run. Having a backup-plan is beneficial to your confidence (as your not back to the wall in the situation).

So basically, you have to choose the time and place, no one else. And you have to be confident with it and accept it too.
I think homophobia is often paired with a lack of experience on the matter. Most people probably never had someone close to them being homosexual so they never learned to deal with it and also they may have wrong images on homosexuals (media coverage can be pretty bad...). I even believe that many people still think that homosexuality is somehow "learned" or so, so being that you grew up with your parents, they having "shaped" you could show them that homosexuality is not learned or chosen, leading to a completely new way of looking at it.

Well thats just my 2 cents. Im glad that you have made up your mind about it and want to come out of the closet instead of hiding it away!

Arachnophobia: Your probably right. Only thing is, my back up plans are usually crazy and incoherent .

> Good Game wrote:

> lol gay
(Had to do it... Was way too much goodwill in this thread x(. Think Ive been hanging around in internet shitholes too much and am sincerely shocked by people being supportive)

More seriously though, good on you!

Lol, I've been waiting for something like that ever since I started this thread

> ☭ Fokker wrote:

> Here is something you will need to prepare for CT:

"Why did you decide to be Gay?"

The answer is simple. Blame the internet . "Well you see, some pics accidently found their way onto my screen, and they reminded me of a tall, muscular, dark-skinned, blond hair guy in my class, [and] it went from there".
See? You can blame anything on the cursed leftists-neo-euro-nazi-liberalitian-socialist-castroist-bushism, internet.

lol that's a very interesting situation.