1 (edited by Listos 07-Jul-2008 17:05:57)

Topic: assassin's guild

this is my first short story ever that I have written without critique from a teacher, please let me know what you think, feel free to post anything, within the rules of our game and forum and feel free to critique as you please. This is a first draft so expect problems smile

thanks for reading! big_smile

btw, there's going to be alot of background information here because you'll need to know it later on so ya'll don't be like, "wtf is this?" smile

Insane Lemming of Drama Queens and Other Hyperbolical People

1431 ftw

Re: assassin's guild

Not bad at all, though I tend to be the tolerant type when it comes to reading short stories, so if you want the good stuff you'll have to be a little* patient tongue

Keep writing, I'm interested to see where this goes.

*For a specific definition of 'little'.

Proud user of Ubuntu 11.10 / 12.04 LTS

Re: assassin's guild

I know, I'm going to keep adding, this was the first bit I wrote so far. I'm writing it during my hour breaks at work since I seem to find myself with 30-45 minutes of nothing to do

Insane Lemming of Drama Queens and Other Hyperbolical People

1431 ftw

4 (edited by Listos 07-Jul-2008 17:30:00)

Re: assassin's guild

Insane Lemming of Drama Queens and Other Hyperbolical People

1431 ftw

Re: assassin's guild

Looks pretty good so far, I'm actually pretty interested to see what happens hahaha.

Blastoise used Hydro Pump!
...It's super effective!
All of IC has fainted!

Re: assassin's guild

Awesome... there is something about hitmen and assassins that bring out a feeling in me, perhaps a secret and unspoken knowing that we are not all that different, like when the Wolf and Hitman make eye-contact in Collateral?

My only complaint: Never put thoughts in speech marks as it can confuse people, for example, instead of [As I aimed the cold steel of the gun at his head I thought "Yes, I finally got you you bastard"]  Go for something like [Yes, I thought as I amied the cold steel of the gun at his head, I finally got you you bastard]


There are not many rules for writing, and If I remember correctly most of them are not rigid, but ths one rule is one of the few that all writers must obey... actually that is the only rule of writing I remember tongue

"So, it's defeat for you, is it? Someday I must meet a similar fate..."

Re: assassin's guild

If you could use code and make it italic, that would work best. But alas, you cannot, for the forums are douches..

Blastoise used Hydro Pump!
...It's super effective!
All of IC has fainted!

Re: assassin's guild

yes, I'd prefer italics, however, I must work with what I have. I'm using Word and copying it in, so I might try it on the next section. That is, whenever my next hour lunch break is at work tongue

saturday, fyi so sunday or monday, update smile

Insane Lemming of Drama Queens and Other Hyperbolical People

1431 ftw

Re: assassin's guild

yay

Blastoise used Hydro Pump!
...It's super effective!
All of IC has fainted!