Well, since my comeback, I have played as I please and mostly SS. Have had fun! Leaders have accepted this without any trouble, because either I have been in a small fam or leader thinks I can pull my SS shizz off.
So, my advice is, if you want to do your own thing, do it in a small fam or do it well. No need to be in a #1 fam and win a round to have fun. If you end up in a #1 spot fam, it is not your fault with the current setup.
Also, if you don´t like themes, you can always be "diplomatic" with silly themes. Fam before reset had "Swords" theme which was kinda cool and Glamdring name worked well with my Pax race. Now my fam has "Batman" theme (instructions said, pick a character from Batman Movies) and I think it is quite trivial thing. But, instead of refusing to follow suit, I opened IMDB, checked out the cast and roles. Now I am "Sewer Thug #2" from Dark Knight Rises. Statement made, theme followed, had my fun with the theme. 
@Swagga: Maybe my fam leader also realises from my actions that I am not here for him/her or the fam, but to have fun. So, obeying orders is not high in my list of priorities (but it is there). Yes, I am unrealiable. Leaders should however realise that I am not working against the fam as SS. I do not break CFs or unofficial NAPs or otherwise try to hurt the fam. I try to contribute my NW and planet amount to fam´s score too. I may stop fighting in a war if I think it is unjust or I may decide to continue my SS-no-aid-given-or-received policy even when fam makes war jumps, if I (can and) want to fight in a war too. I am funny that way. I think I have right to do things and make decisions on my own. Whenever I lead a fam, I let others have those rights too and I consider my "commands" as merely suggestions of how things could be done in the fam scale. I try to remember to say "please" and "thank you" often. 
This was supposed to be short answer to current topic, but it kinda got out of hand...
Basicly, don´t take the game too seriously. Also, be a lion, not a lamb. 