Quick Points - lots of christians believe in "the one" but i think that's ridiculous talk, we really do frequently treat it like we're looking for the last freaking unicorn.  Many of the powerful pastors (see matt chandler, by the way, if you're interested - powerful fellow, plenty of podcasts) in churches who are really doing it right, doing the right things, and truly affecting people the way the should also do not see it as it has been popularized among Christian youth.

I am a much firmer believer in the system (this is biblical, by the way, song of solomon) that God has designated within you a good amount of characteristics you need in a mate (nothing fancy there - some people work, some people don't) and that there are a good group of those people - I've managed to meet about 3 people I think I realistically could marry and be happy with.

As to "love is a chemical reaction" - you're looking at two very different things.

Attraction and "like" are chemical reactions, I firmly agree.  Love however is much more than a feeling - it's a verb or an action.  I sincerely doubt you always "like" your mate, your girlfriend, or your friends all the time, in fact, it's obviously ridiculous to believe such hogwash - it's affected as much by what you ate last night or what position you slept in as anything.  But love is a continued decision maintained by continued action.

So - a lot of christian youth do think as you suggest, and as a christian twenty-something, i tend to call them a bit naive, foolish, and understudied and have since I was about 14

I would like to start by saying that I don't believe in 'the one' theory and am probably closer to your 'chemical' theory. However you dissertation of 'the one' leaves some holes.

>>1. A resulting consequence of this theory would mean that you can not love anyone else but your designated match. It does not seem to fit because we find that people can fall in love with more than one person in their lifetimes, as well as fall out of love.<<

This is easy to get around by simply saying that the 'love' you felt for this person was not 'true love' and thus it ended because they were not 'the one.' You get to it later in that you are not 'set up' with your 'one true love' by god, but need to have faith that you will find them and that god has a plan for you, as he does for everyone.

>> 2. It seems to eliminate free-will because of God setting you up to meet some day, and having a master plan which you are an actor in. Of course, a modification could be made to the theory, in that God still designates your true love, but it is up to you to find them. But this leads to another problem. Since God can not set you up to meet without contradicting free will, for all you know your true love or "the one" could be far from contact distance. This incites a question about the perfection and benevolence of God when he makes it so that only a few people in the world would likely be able to come in contact with their true love.<<

As stated above, god gives you free-will to find the person, though he will help to make  circumstances favourable if you listen to him and his plan for you. You don't have to follow it, but obviously listening to the all powerful all knowing and all seeing creator of the universe will probably be a good thing. Obviously then he will make sure your love is either near you or you will have life paths that will cross at some point.

>> 3. The theory contradicts every day experience when couples fall in and out of love, and then fall in love with someone else. When love lasts, we can also observe very practical adjustments like good communication - no indication of someone finding the true love that God designated for them.<<

This is really the same point as 1 with maybe a little of 2 thrown in, though in different words. You can't make points against an argument then re-word them and think you have made more... you only have 2 points and they are easily sidestepped if one was so inclined by pointing out the over-all greatness of god and his master plans. We have free will, and as such we can like someone, but if we stop liking them then obviously they were not our one true love now were they... Or maybe we did something to deviate from the path we were meant to walk and that caused friction and thus a dissolving of the true love. No one said that god was going to ensure it worked out, just that it was possible to walk the path, and by having faith in him to help you through the difficult bits.

My opinion is

"The One" theory is wrong, but it's purposeful.

The chemical theory, although probably being correct, could be harmful if it was widespread. With the chemical theory it's hard to keep marriages stable, and as we know, the traditional family is the best environment to raise children.

free will is accepted in most christian denominations (not the ones with the whole predestination), the christian god does not demand blind slavery, but love

as for "the one" I don't think that is actually a part of christian doctrine, there is no divine plan to give everyone a partner that is up to you; people only hope they meet "the one" because once they marry it's for as long as they live lol

"I think of love as a chemical reaction that occurs when the favorable circumstances are present. Meaning, that when you are able to enjoy a pleasant conversation, are attracted to the person, and have consistent positive experiences with them etc (among other essential circumstances), then the formula for the love chemical reaction is present and there is love as an outcome. This reaction can also be reproduced with other people when the right circumstances for are present.

Christians on the other hand, I have observed, view love very differently. Keep in mind that I am referring to romantic love. I still don't quite understand it, but they seem to subscribe to "The One" theory. "The One" theory seems to assert that God designates your match sometime before you meet as part of his master plan for you, sets up the circumstances under which you will meet, and love will be present when your time comes to bond with that person. Of course, I find this theory ludicrous for various reasons. But some of them are:"

i was raised catholic and went to a catholic school, and in that catholic school, through highschool, and in that catholic school, they taught your description of love, and not your description of christian love. you're like some kid in elementary school who knows very little about sex, but that doesnt keep him from talking about sex with his friends and making jokes about sex, but the things you say about sex are childish and show a lack of understanding of the basic principles of sex. except instead of sex, you're imature about religion and lack a basic understanding of the principles.

i just wanted to compare sex to Christianity for kicks

how are things with you and loz, if i may be so bold to ask

east wrote:people only hope they meet "the one" because once they marry it's for as long as they live lol

yup, that s prolly it

We're doing just fine, thankyou for asking Nemeara.

On certain levels, that's quite true, Fokker. Though there's alot more to it than that.