"==> awfully, dreadfully, horrible, ear-paining, grunting trash junk"
You people have no tolerance
Bands like 1349 or Burzum are "worse" than Bathory in that aspect, but it's still good. Especially Burzum is fun to listen to. Somehow the sound of an orgasmic tortured kitten appeals to people, I listen to it if I'm in the mood 
Anyway, Chees. Do you know/like following bands?
Rhapsody (now known as Rhapsody of Fire), Edguy, Avantasia, Blind Guardian, Iced Earth, Demons & Wizards, DivineFire, DragonForce, Rage, Sonata Arctica, Symphony X, Thunderstone, Zonata, ...
Most of those seem to me are your kind of music 
I'll never know if it was worth the pain, but I still loved it more than anything in the world - it was my life.