You've tried to argue that poverty could be abolished if people were allowed to keep more of their minimum wage.<<<
Uh, yeah, saving to buy education is one way up.
You've ever referred to someone as "my (insert racial or ethnic minority here) friend."<<
required when we argue with liberals who insist that being a white adult means you have no experience of "real America"
You're a pro-lifer, but support the death penalty.<<
when an unborn baby is committing murder-suicide even the Pope supports execution. called "indirect abortion"
You've ever referred to the moral fiber of something.<<
and you never been robbed by airport security or the post office
You've ever uttered the phrase, "Why don't we just bomb the sons of bitches." <<
Didn't know FDR was a republican
You've ever called a secretary or waitress "Honey." <<
didn't know LBJ and Carter was Republican.
You don't think "The Simpsons" is all that funny, but you watch it because that Flanders fellow makes a lot of sense. <<
he doesn't hit his kids!
You don't let your kids watch Sesame Street because you accuse Bert and Ernie of "sexual deviance." <<
no its cause Dave Chappelle really opened our eyes to the drug abuse and prostitution subtexts
You use any of these terms to describe your wife: Old ball and chain, little woman, old lady, tax credit... <<
didn't know Bill Clinton was a Republican
You scream "Dit-dit-ditto" while making love. <<
...
You've argued that art has a "moral foundation set in Western values." <<
I thought liberals argued that, as justification to remove 400-year old oils and replace them with 20th century shit smears
You think Birkenstock was that radical rock concert in 1969. <<
you think Birkenstock is a church shoe
You argue that you need 300 handguns, in case a bear ever attacks your home. <<
liberals take nothing but photographs and leave nothing but bloody drag marks in the grass
Vietnam makes a lot of sense to you. <<<
not as much as Korea
http://www.dailymotion.com/video/x1bhlh_rodney-dangerfield-sam-kinison_fun
You point to Hootie and the Blowfish as evidence of the end of racism in America. <<
Naw. Oprah marks the end of mainstream white supremacism. We no longer have a struggle for nonwhite equality. Now we have a struggle for nonwhite advantage.
You've ever said, "Clean air? Looks clean to me." <<
Ha, I live in California
You've ever referred to Anita Hill as a "lying bitch" while attending a Bob Packwood fund-raiser. <<
Anita Hill tried to make anonymous accusations and changed her story after a recess conference with Democrat Senators
You spent MLK Day reading "The Bell Curve." <<
never read it, heard they fudged the math. race is acultural construct so extrapolation of IQ over a estimate of a subculture has too many variables to be debated as science. Might as well claim that 750 annual measurements let you calculate global climate.
You've ever called education a luxury. <<
I read what Sallie Mae said when they told me to use my credit card for professional education
You look down through a glass ceiling and chuckle. <<
You take the Blue Jays seriously?
You wonder if donations to the Pentagon are tax-deductable. <<
They'd refer you to the treasury. i believe it counts just as a payment.
You own a vehicle with an "Ollie North: American Hero" sticker. <<
Ollie North is a wanker and bumper stickers invite vandalism
You're afraid of the "liberal media." <<
I'm afraid of stomach cramps, hence, I avoid the liberal media
You ever based an argument on the phrase, "Well, tradition dictates...." <<
Hey, if you'd rather we fall back on our 300 bear-rifles like they do in 90% of the planet, okaaay...just that in this country, tradition dictates we don't burn the mutha down over interest rates
You've ever called the National Endowment for the Arts a bunch of pornographers. <<
Right, a man sodomizing another man with a whip handle is a farking masterpiece.
You think all artists are gay. <<
You know they could be and not know it.
You ever told a child that Oscar the Grouch "lives in a trash can because he is lazy and doesn't want to contribute to society." <<
You saw that Chappelle bit too!
You've ever urged someone to pull themselves up by their bootstraps, when they don't even have shoes<<
You applaud barefootedness as better for the soul
The core joke of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that of course no civilization would develop personal computers with instant remote database recovery, and then waste this technology to find good drinks.
Steve Jobs has ruined this joke.