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Re: Anti Republican Thread

The teacher called on the students to give their reports.  Timmy stood up and said, "I drew a Democrat raping America." 

"Very good Timmy" said the teacher.  "And Susie?"

"I drew a Democrat refusing to win wars" said Susie.

"Very good Susie" said the teacher "And Bill?"

"I didn't do any work" said Bill. "I was celebrating my 18th birthday last night by getting totally drunk and I'm hungover as shit."

"Me too" said the teacher " but being a democrat, I'll grade on a curve"

The core joke of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that of course no civilization would develop personal computers with instant remote database recovery, and then waste this technology to find good drinks.
Steve Jobs has ruined this joke.

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

haha nice one Chris

<@Nick> it always scares me when KT gets all dominatrixy
* I_like_pie is now known as pie|bbl
<@KT|afk> Look at him run!
<@Nick> if you tell him to slap you and call you mommy
<@Nick> i'm leaving and never coming back

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

lol good one big_smile


did you see what i just did there? i laughed at the democratic flame joke too!! I know, right? How wierd is that??

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he&#65279; is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!!

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

After a Sigma-Six review of Hell (in-house ofc) Satan opened a storefront boutique on K Street.

Senator Schumer called for an appointment and was ushered into the tabernacle.

"Hello Mephistoles" said Schumer.  "I got a soul to cash in"

"certainly senator" simpered the devil "How might we serve you?"

"I want every democrat to win every election forever"
"hmm well that ties right in with the Plan, sure"

"I want to commune with Ted Kennedy through black magic"
"why not? not a common bargain in America, the lines should be free"

"I want the federal debt to vanish and I want credit for it" 
"Hrm. Limitless wealth and fame and fortune, ok I got forms for that"

"I want to live forever"
"that we cannot do"

Schumer argued and threatened to walk but finally the demon said "Well for a man of your caliber I guess we can make a unique exception. Prick your finger and sign."

Schumer signed in blood and walked out jauntily, was hit by a bus and went to Hell.

"What the here" he wailed to the Devil.  "I demanded immortality and wealth and fame and free long distance for my soul and I got none of it!"

the Devil laughed for hours and howled "I had you at "hello"!"

The core joke of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that of course no civilization would develop personal computers with instant remote database recovery, and then waste this technology to find good drinks.
Steve Jobs has ruined this joke.

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

"In my opinion moderates who read this thread will be disgusted by the mods, and this means they will be more amicable to Conservatives like me.
The only way to prevent that is to place it where it belongs, politics.
But since the mods won't, I get to laugh."

I don't mean to be cruel to you Flint, but youre not really the most popular guy around here. While the mods are quite mostly well-liked or even worshipped in Primo's case.

God: Behold ye angels, I have created the ass.. Throughout the ages to come men and women shall grab hold of these and shout my name...

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

All cruelty is deliberate and intentional, that is what makes it cruel

unthinking hardship and strife is just Life kicking your ass as usual and is no more cruel than having to pee daily

The core joke of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that of course no civilization would develop personal computers with instant remote database recovery, and then waste this technology to find good drinks.
Steve Jobs has ruined this joke.

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

A nurse at an old folks home was taking breakfast to the old farts when one old fart said "It's my 100th birthday tomorrow"

"Well that's nice Mr. Smith, what would you like?"

"Well I would like to have sex with you"

"Well that is totally unprofessional but since it is your 100th birthday and this is a stupid joke thread I will have sex with you"

"OK lemme go put on protection"
Smith comes back totally naked except for a condom, earplugs and a clothespin on his nose.

"Why do you have earplugs and a clothespin on your nose?"

"I hate the sound of women screaming and the stink of burning rubber"

The core joke of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that of course no civilization would develop personal computers with instant remote database recovery, and then waste this technology to find good drinks.
Steve Jobs has ruined this joke.

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

Obama goes to hell... what you were expecting this to be a joke?


True story, Obama gets called a negro by a Democrat, he forgives him, Obamas friend get arrested for assaulting the officee, and Obama says the officer was wrong doing it. Now the joke line, Obamas dog poos in Obamas shoes, it got executed, and Al Sharpton blows up an airliner filled with Republicans and gets pardoned for doing a only minor act of man caused disaster.



Obama has an acronym

O-B-A-M-A
One Big Arsed Mistake America


One day Barack was praying, the rest of his life he expected people to pray to him.

Barack love his nation.... sorry I could not keep a straight face on that one either.

Everything bad in the economy is now Obama's fault. Every job lost, all the debt, all the lost retirement funds. All Obama. Are you happy now? We all get to blame Obama!
Kemp currently not being responded to until he makes CONCISE posts.
Avogardo and Noir ignored by me for life so people know why I do not respond to them. (Informational)

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

I guess I just don't find ignorant idiocy to be as funny as some of you guys.

When you find humor in material which is known to be completely wrong and often backwards and can only be believed by those lacking an education--yet still IS believed by a considerable number of people--it becomes too embarrassing and sad to be funny. Pathetic things aren't funny.

[I wish I could obey forum rules]

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

Correction: yet still IS believed by a considerable number of AMERICAN people...

thank you continue on...

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but i am Jesus"
"Nothing is worse than a fully prepared fool"

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

Others as well, as this thread has made clear. They get really into it too. Weirds me out big time.

[I wish I could obey forum rules]

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

ok then... yet still IS believed by a considerable number of AMERICAN and AMERICAN-LIKE people...

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but i am Jesus"
"Nothing is worse than a fully prepared fool"

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

Haha, you just called WFS AMERICAN-LIKE.

[I wish I could obey forum rules]

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

I am unsure if WFS actually believes that the jokes are true, but that they are in fact humourous, which is two different things...

"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but i am Jesus"
"Nothing is worse than a fully prepared fool"

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

A joke, much like beauty, is in the eye of the beholder. You dont have to find it funny or amusing. I can give a shit less.

Opinions are like assholes...everbody has one.

If you find them funny. Great. hope you enjoyed them. If you not, then PISS OFF!! Dont read them. Go read something else. Your bitching and whining make you guys look like bigger douchebags than you already are. If thats even possible.

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he&#65279; is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!!

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

Republican Convention Schedule

Minneapolis, MN

4:00 PM - Opening Prayers and Massages Administered by Rev. Ted Haggard
4:05 PM - Presentation of Confederate Colors
4:10 PM - Pledge of Allegiance to 9/11
4:15 PM - Invocation of John McCain's POW Experience
4:30 PM - George W. Bush Speech on Legacy of Peace and Prosperity, Canceled
4:45 PM - Dick Cheney Instructional Seminar on Waterboarding, Canceled
5:00 PM - Karl Rove Speech on Government Accountability, Canceled
5:15 PM - Tribute to the U.S. Constitution, Canceled
5:30 PM - VP Beauty Contest and Swimsuit Competition, featuring Sarah Palin, Condoleezza Rice, and Rudy Giuliani
5:45 PM - Tribute Film to John McCain's Houses
6:00 PM - Free Jack Abramoff Pep Rally
6:15 PM - Free Tom DeLay Pep Rally
6:30 PM - Free Ted Stevens Pep Rally
6:45 PM - Invocation of John McCain's POW Experience
7:00 PM - VP Briefing Session: The Busy Mom's Guide to Battling Islamic Terrorism
7:15 PM - Larry Craig "Family Values" Lecture and Toe-Tapping Exhibition
7:30 PM - Restroom Break
7:45 PM - Invitation to "Strip Down and Get Relaxed," delivered by Mark Foley via Instant Message
8:00 PM - Lecture on the Effectiveness of Abstinence-Only Education

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he&#65279; is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!!

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

I was there for the sing along of bombing Iran

Everything bad in the economy is now Obama's fault. Every job lost, all the debt, all the lost retirement funds. All Obama. Are you happy now? We all get to blame Obama!
Kemp currently not being responded to until he makes CONCISE posts.
Avogardo and Noir ignored by me for life so people know why I do not respond to them. (Informational)

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

lol Flint tongue

for the record: im all about bombing Iran. those pricks are evil.

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he&#65279; is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!!

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94 Reply by The Yell (edited by Chris_Balsz 13-May-2010 00:38:52)

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

Republican Convention Schedule

Minneapolis, MN

4:00 PM - Opening Prayers and Massages Administered by Rev. Ted Haggard
4:05 PM - Presentation of Confederate Colors
4:10 PM - Pledge of Allegiance to 9/11
4:15 PM - Invocation of John McCain's POW Experience
4:30 PM - George W. Bush Speech on Legacy of Peace and Prosperity, Canceled
4:45 PM - Dick Cheney Instructional Seminar on Waterboarding, Canceled
5:00 PM - Karl Rove Speech on Government Accountability, Canceled
5:15 PM - Tribute to the U.S. Constitution, Canceled
5:30 PM - VP Beauty Contest and Swimsuit Competition, featuring Sarah Palin, Condoleezza Rice, and Rudy Giuliani
5:45 PM - Tribute Film to John McCain's Houses
6:00 PM - Free Jack Abramoff Pep Rally
6:15 PM - Free Tom DeLay Pep Rally
6:30 PM - Free Ted Stevens Pep Rally
6:45 PM - Invocation of John McCain's POW Experience
7:00 PM - VP Briefing Session: The Busy Mom's Guide to Battling Islamic Terrorism
7:15 PM - Larry Craig "Family Values" Lecture and Toe-Tapping Exhibition
7:30 PM - Restroom Break
7:45 PM - Invitation to "Strip Down and Get Relaxed," delivered by Mark Foley via Instant Message
8:00 PM - Lecture on the Effectiveness of Abstinence-Only Education

The core joke of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that of course no civilization would develop personal computers with instant remote database recovery, and then waste this technology to find good drinks.
Steve Jobs has ruined this joke.

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

For the record I wish it recognized the Anti-Republican agreed with a Republican Politician.




Barack walks into a bar with a Parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender asks, where did you get that?

The Parrot says "Africa, they got them all over the place there"





The media asks for a sample of Obamas God like powers, so he takes them to a mud puddle, puts his hands in it, and pushes the water from the center

Excitedly they write he can part water, but they ask for the next proof. So he takes a lighter and sets a bush on fire (no not that Bush) and then puts a walkie talkie inside it and speaks through it.

A talking bush on fire! The press is in utter awe now. But they feel they need a third miracle before their publishers will print the amazing story.

Barack thinks for a moment and then says "it was a miracle half the nation believed my lies and elected me"....

Everything bad in the economy is now Obama's fault. Every job lost, all the debt, all the lost retirement funds. All Obama. Are you happy now? We all get to blame Obama!
Kemp currently not being responded to until he makes CONCISE posts.
Avogardo and Noir ignored by me for life so people know why I do not respond to them. (Informational)

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

boooo

The core joke of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that of course no civilization would develop personal computers with instant remote database recovery, and then waste this technology to find good drinks.
Steve Jobs has ruined this joke.

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

"Barack walks into a bar with a Parrot on his shoulder.

The bartender asks, where did you get that?

The Parrot says "Africa, they got them all over the place there"

That sounds rather racist. It implies that Afro-Americans don't have a place in the US of A..
See how taking jokes seriously can result into silly debates?

God: Behold ye angels, I have created the ass.. Throughout the ages to come men and women shall grab hold of these and shout my name...

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

The difference: You derived your complaint from an implication of the joke, reading into the word.

AA' jokes don't have hidden implications.  They outright scream the assertions which are being questioned.

Make Eyes Great Again!

The Great Eye is watching you... when there's nothing good on TV...

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

The premise was some people find some things funny, some do not. But a joke is designed to have a punch line.

I was waiting for you to groan miserably at one of my piss poor jokes. Bout sodding time. In regards, I may find Obama getting hit by a secret service agent funny, where you will not. Is it a joke? Nope. Is it humor? Nope. Will I laugh so hard that tears come and flow freely? Yes. Will I giggle as I remember it for months after and talk to coworkers as I laugh about the event with them? Yes.


Humor is sometimes not funny, sometimes funny. But humor is identifiable as such with ease.

A funny incident, even such as you see on America's Funniest Home Videos is not a joke, though it can make you laugh.

A skate boarder is doing a trick. You are upset because part of his trick put a dent in you car door. Then he slams nuts first on the rail he was trying to jump. Funny at that moment? Hell yes. A joke though? Not even close.



If your so unintelligent as to not see the difference... well... the jokes on you.

Everything bad in the economy is now Obama's fault. Every job lost, all the debt, all the lost retirement funds. All Obama. Are you happy now? We all get to blame Obama!
Kemp currently not being responded to until he makes CONCISE posts.
Avogardo and Noir ignored by me for life so people know why I do not respond to them. (Informational)

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Re: Anti Republican Thread

Making fun of you isn't necessarily "bitching and whining." tongue

[I wish I could obey forum rules]

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