Topic: You ever wonder how I really work?

From the new York Times:

Worker dead at desk for five days.

Bosses of a publishing firm are trying to work out why no one noticed that one of their employees had been sitting dead at his desk for five days before anyone asked if he was feeling okay.  George Turklebaum, 51, who had been employed as a proof-reader at a New York firm for 30 years, had a heart attack in the open-plan office he shared with 23 other workers.

He quietly passed away on Monday, but nobody noticed until Saturday morning when an office cleaner asked why he was working during the weekend.

His boss, Elliot Wachiaski, said: "George was always the first guy in each morning and the last to leave at night so no one found it unusual that he was in the same position all that time and didn't say anything.  He was always absorbed in his work and kept much to himself."

A post mortem examination revealed that he had been dead for five days after suffering a coronary.  George was proofreading manuscripts of medical textbooks when he died.

You may want to give your co-workers a nudge occasionally.  The moral of the story:  Don't work too hard.  Nobody notices anyways.

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Lines to Make You Smile!!!

I don't suffer from insanity; I enjoy every minute of it.

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

Don't take life too seriously; No one gets out alive.

Beauty is in the eye of the beer holder.

Earth is the insane asylum for the universe...

I'm not a complete idiot -- Some parts are just missing.

Out of my mind.  Be back in five minutes.

The gene pool could use a little chlorine.

Consciousness:  That annoying time between naps.

Ever stop to think, and forget to start again?

Being 'over the hill' is much better than being under it!

Wrinkled was not one of the things i wanted to be when I grew up.

Procrastinate now! Why start tomorrow?

A hangover is the wrath of grapes.

A journey of a thousand miles begins with a cash advance.

He who dies with the most toys is nonetheless DEAD.

A picture is worth a thousand words, but it uses up three thousand times the memory.

Ham and eggs... A day's work for a chicken, a lifetime commitment for a pig.

The trouble with life is there's no background music.

The original point and click interface was a Smith & Wesson.

I smile beacuse I don't know what the heck is going on.

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"Company health plan?  Well, we here at Clowns-R-Us like to think that laughter is the best medicine."

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Several men were in a golf club locker room.

A mobile phone rings.

"Yes I can talk," says the man answering the call, "You're shopping are you?  That's nice."

The listening men smile to each other.

"You want to order those new carpets? Okay...and they'll include the curtains for an extra five thousand?  Sure, why not?"

More smiles among the listeners.

"You want to book that week on Necker Island?...They're holding the price at twenty-two thousand?  Sounds like a bargain..you want a fortnight?  If that's what you want honey, okay by me."

Smiles turn to expressions of mild envy.

"And you want to give the builder the go-ahead for the new conservatory?  Seventy-five thousand if we say yes today?  Sounds fair...sure, that's fine."

The listeners exchange glances of amazement.

"Okay sugar, see you later..yes, love you too," says the man, ending the call.

He looks at the other men and says, "Whose phone is this anyhow?"....

=^o.o^= When I'm cute I can be cute.  And when I'm mean, I can be very very mean.  I'm a cat.  Expect me to be fickle.

Re: You ever wonder how I really work?

A young man who was also an avid golfer found himself with a few hours to spare one afternoon.  He figured if he hurried and played very fast, he could get in nine holes before he had to head home.  Just as he was about to tee off an old gentleman shuffled onto the tee and asked if he could accompany the young man as he was golfing alone.  Not being able to say no, he allowed the old gent to join him.

To his surprise the old man played fairly quickly.  He didn't hit the ball far, but plodded along consistently and didn't waste much time.  Finally, they reached the 9th fairway and the young man found himself with a tough shot.  There was a large pine tree right in front of his ball - and directly between his ball and the green.

After several minutes of debating how to hit the shot the old man finally said, "You know, when I was your age I'd hit the ball right over that tree."

With that challenge placed before him, the youngster swung hard, hit the ball up, right smack into the top of the tree trunk and it thudded back on the ground not a foot from where it had originally lay.

The old man offered one more comment, "Of course, when I was your age that pine tree was only three feet tall."

=^o.o^= When I'm cute I can be cute.  And when I'm mean, I can be very very mean.  I'm a cat.  Expect me to be fickle.

3 (edited by Key 06-May-2010 22:19:05)

Re: You ever wonder how I really work?

A young executive was leaving the office late one evening when he found the CEO standing in front of a shredder with a piece of paper in his hand.

"Listen," said the CEO, "this is a very sensitive and important document here, and my secretary has gone for the night.  Can you make this thing work?"

"Certainly," said the young executive.  He turned the machine on, inserted the paper, and pressed the start button.

"Excellent, excellent!"  said the CEO as his paper disappeared inside the machine. "I just need one copy."

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St. Peter and Satan were having an argument one day about baseball.  Satan proposed a game to be played on neutral grounds between a select team from the heavenly host and his own hand-picked boys.

"Very well," said the gatekeeper of Heaven.  "But you realize, I hope, that we've got all the good players and the best coaches."

"I know, and that's all right," Satan answered unperturbed. "We've got all the umpires."

=^o.o^= When I'm cute I can be cute.  And when I'm mean, I can be very very mean.  I'm a cat.  Expect me to be fickle.