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Imperial Forum → Roleplay → pen and paper rpg's
who plays em?
I play All Flesh Must Be Eaten, I've done some rouge trader and dark heresy, 7th sea is also a lot of fun
Never got into DnD though, well I've rolled a character or two but the games never got off the ground.
I thoroughly enjoyed my DnD campaigns. I've done some crazy stuff. Lesse, We had a half man/half boat character in our party. As he said, "You know when a sailor is on the high seas alone? You know those holes in the side of the boat? Yeah...By the way, he has a half brother that's a boat with a arm for a mast that can raise and lower. It raises on a daily basis with his middle finger pointed up at the sky to say F YOU GOD! F YOU!" Consequently, a battle occurred later in which I had him transform and then we all climbed in him and we cast a levitation spell and floated down.
Another time, we had him as a dwarven bard with a band. And what were his skills? The ability to charm people, especially men, and the ability to make grass grow 8 ft high. First 20 minutes, I get hit in the face with an axe, partner attacks the lvl 1 gnoll, misses. Dwarven bard jump kicks gnoll as I stand up, then gnoll is kicked into me. My health hits 0. My partner fumbles, loses his sword. Bard dances, makes the grass grow 8 ft. Partner can't find sword. Bard's partner casts dancing lights or some such, setting the grass on fire, (ranger) scaring his bear (named Barry) and the gnoll. Finally, the gnoll slips and falls on my partners sword, killing itself on a rock. All of us being lvl 3 and the gnoll lvl 1. 4 of us, plus a bear. Sad.
Another occasion my character died, and Tom, the bard/boatman, is a bard who can sing 2 songs at once. So he proclaims to the people, "Good people! I will perform a great deed tonight, in the midst of this blazing tavern on fire behind me. I WILL RAISE THE DEAD!" So, he raises my dead body with an animate dead spell, and declares "It's a miracle! Let us rejoice with song and dance! I will spin a tune for this miraculous wonder!" And he entrances them all, then points to the burning tavern, "LOOK CHILDREN! BALLOONS!!!!" Children run and burn, parents get upset, then he points again and tells the parents "LOOK! A MARRIED GAY COUPLE ATTEMPTING TO ADOPT AN AFRICAN CHILD!!!" Then they burn.
We're some sick people. 
Bards are horrible people.
One time we were running a modded unisystem in the not so distant future(2025) as mercs running ops for the goverment, the corporations and the 'anarchists', they weren't really anarchists but people that didn't want to get stuck under the yoke of the govnet and corpnet. We were not touchable by immediate law, they can't sue us but they can kill the [moo] out of us if they find us.
Anyway, we get an assignment off archnet to stop a meeting between the government and a rather large gang we thought was working on its own.
We set up in the woods where the road takes a turn and dig some remote controlled explosives into the ground.
The trucks come over and blam almost everything blows up except the lead car, the one containing the guy we were supposed to capture for information and 1 truck. One polish dude with a knack for shotguns sets off to shotgun the lead car, but I interrupt him with my rocket launcher because my character is a douchebag.
Everyone goes off to get the dude we are supposed to get after a few harsh words for doing something douchy again and all is pretty good until we realize we forgot to check the truck.
We hear the ripping of metal and infront of us is a powersuit with an autocannon(think of it as a very large caliber machinegun) attached to it. Everyone shits a brick, 2 dudes are knocked down the slope and I thank the gods he didn't go after me because I got my rocket launcher and fired another round out at him, but it didn't do jack, what it did do was tank the ground he was standing on and make him slide downwards to my two friends hitting one in the chest and another in the head. They don't get knocked back down but regain composure and get back up the side.
There we are, all shitting bricks because a [moo] rocket launcher didn't do damage to him, I'm down to my last rocket and the dm goes "he has somewhat of an advanced visor attached to the front of his face.". In unisin we go "called rocket launcher shot to the face." But my last rocket is on the other side of the road and it's gonna take an action. Everyone goes off to try and fight the thing but his autocannon rips one of our dudes apart. This is what happened and I'm not shitting you
GM: The power armour turns to you, it's appearant powersource seems to glow slightly as the autocannon revs up. Want to make a dodge roll?
Player: No I'm good
All of us: wat?
Player: I'm going to call grabbing the bullets with my teeth.
GM: Go right ahead
GM *rolls nat 10*
Player *rolls 1*
So the GM goes "Marhik with inhuman reflexes manages to grab a bullet in between his cheeks, the entire world gasps for a millisecond in unison before the lateral forces of the bullet rip his brains right out of the backside of his skull."
With him dead I fire my rocket right to his face but the powerarmour only gets a small crack right on the edge of his eye. And it starts to take off, I try to follow him and stab it in that location but I fumble up and get hit by friendly fire.
Our evac chopper arrives and the sniper that was riding it asks the GM if he can't try to shoot it from here, right about now the powersuit is edging on the horizon and it's going at very high speeds.
I don't know why, because he doesn't usually do, and it seemed he had set this up just to teach us a lesson that not everything can be destroyed, but he says sort of annoyed "yeah sure, on a natural 10 you can hit him, but roll a one and you die, your brains hit the helicopter rotors and your brain splatters all over the place."
For a second we all thought he wasn't going to do it but he takes the shot, eyes closed as he rolls....... a [oom] ten, the face on the GM was priceless.
He shoots the powerarmour and it blows up as a small nuclear explosion ruining our chances at getting children.
That was an average session for us.
nobody else plays?
VAMPIRE: The Masquerade
Me = Nosferatu :-[
is that any good?
What kinda system?
Another time, we had 2 elves, a dancing dwarven bard (straight up bard) with a band, and some crazy druid with a bear for a friend. Now, I was an elf, and DM says, "You hear a noise behind you, do you want to look back?
Me: Sure
DM: Roll a d20
Me: *rolls a 1*
DM: You get hit in the face, the jaw, with an axe and take *rolls* 14 damage
Me: Shit
my elven partner attacks the lvl 1 gnoll (we're all lvl 3) he rolls a 1 fumbles, losing his sword
Dwarven bard (DB): I wanna flying jump kick him
DM: Ok, roll
DB: *rolls a 3*
Me: I'm getting up
DM: Unfortunately, you get up right as the bard flying kicks the gnoll, flying kicking YOU into the gnoll, dealing you...14 damage.
Me: Knocked unconscious already after 3 minutes X(
DB: did I hurt the gnoll?
DM: Through him, yes. 3 damage.
Druid: I'm sending my bear after him
Elf: Have I found my sword yet?
DB: I'm going to dance and make the grass grow 8 ft.
Everyone: WTF!? Why?
DB: Why not? *rolls a natural 20* YES!
DM: Grass grows 10 ft, and the elf, roll a d20
Elf: *rolls a 4*
DM: Loses the sword as he grabs it. Then, in his terror slip on a rock and hurts himself for 7 damage.
Druid: I'm going to ride my bear into battle!
DM: Ok, you get there, now what?
Druid: I want my bear to hit the gnoll
DM: Which is in the grass. Good luck finding it
DB: Can I cast a spell? I wanna cast Dancing Flames which lightens the area, might scare it out
DM: Roll
DB: *rolls a 1*
DM: So as you cast the spell, you misintentionally set the grass, you raised, on fire. Smoke fills the area, the bear is starting to get scared itself, the elf takes 4 fire damage, and the gnoll is squealing in terror. Now what?
Druid: can I cast magic missile?
DM: [DIE] YOU! ANYONE ELSE?
Me: I'm still at 0.
DM: *rolls a d20* Alright, the gnoll slips and falls, dealing 7 damage, plus 4 fire damage, killing it. *claps* good job boys, 4 lvl 3 characters, a [frollocing] bear against a [beautifully gay] lvl 1 gnoll and you all gone and [anally reemed] yourselves for 20 minutes. How do you all feel?
DB: [splendiforous]
DM: GOOD! I hope it hurt
DB: It felt great!
DM: *fumes*
20 minutes later on, we rolled on into a town
DM: Ok you go into a town and you meet a bunch of townfolk
DB: Is it men or women?
DM: Townfolk
DB: I love town folk
DM: Anyways, what do you do?
DB: I wanna charm dance them *Rolls d20* 29
DM: *rolls d20* ([OOOOOOO GOOOODIE!]) Ok, who do you want to charm?
DB: Is there a man? I want the middle aged male
DM: Ok, now what?
DB: He is now my bitch
Elf: Let me try *d20* 17
DM: *rolls d20* Good job, you charmed a 2 year old...girl. Nice one pervert.
DB: Does my bitch have a wife?
DM: *rolls d20* yes.
DB: Ok, charm her too *rolls a 28*
DM: Now what?
DB: Kill my bitch, take the wife.
DM: ok, townsfolk are mad at you, what do you say?
DB: CHARM DANCE! *rolls a natural 20*
DM: YOU [SCALLYWAG]! Ok, what do you say?!
DB: I didn't do it.
DM: *Fumes*
After we went through a crazy temple, attacked an angel, then reasoned with it, we head back into town not sure what to do next. Dwarven Bard (DB) suggests he communes with his god.
DM: Ok, do you have the proper materials?
DB: I'm going to go to a school for boys, charm the middlest aged boy
DM: Ok, then what?
DB: Sodomize him. Repeatedly. For an hour.
DM: *laughs* You sick [son of a biscuit eater]
DB: What? It's perfectly reasonable to do that
DM: Ok, you communed with your god what do you ask?
DB: Can I sodomize goats instead?
DM: No.
DB: What now?
DM: You should probably look around town for an inn and seek help there.
DB: But everyone here is dead.
DM: Well shit, I'm not some encyclopedia, go find your own answers
that all basically sums up our progress over the course of 1 9 hour session
jeez man, I would hate being in your group.
We blow shit up and have fun, you guys want to work out your sexual fantasies?
gross
> [RPA] Arocalex wrote:
> is that any good?
What kinda system?
Storyteller system.
Wiki: http://wiki.white-wolf.com/worldofdarkness/index.php?title=Main_Page
Books: http://www.pen-paper.net/rpgdb.php?op=showpubline&gamelineid=9&publisherid=2
Port Lussuria: http://www.wodchat.com/
but recently been paying more attention to the PC games.
Nosferatu: We know your secrets. We know your fears.
Sorry Aro, my peeps are sick people. But they're funny as hell
As long as everyone can have fun I'll allow it.
we all have fun. Even if little children are being burned alive
Imperial Forum → Roleplay → pen and paper rpg's
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