1 Topic by Justinian I (edited by Justinian I 20-Jan-2010 00:04:55)

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Topic: All relationships are based on convenience

At one time, I was slightly convinced that most relationships between people were based on convenience. Now I know it's absolutely true. I have seen friends become enemies and enemies become friends depending on the circumstances. Now I know this is true without question, as I have witnessed too many long-standing friendships (not involving me) terminate and become nasty because the circumstances made it costly.

Now I know people are so predictable and people management is so rational. Just pretend you are them and calculate their least risky and most profitable option, and you will usually be right. With that knowledge, you can build cooperative relationships that give you the most and take the least from you. Zomg, I can not believe I did not realize this sooner.

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

didn't you move in with a girl you met online and said it was true love?
or was that a troll

Not many people know this, but I own the first radio in Springfield. Not much on the air then, just Edison reciting the alphabet over and over. "A" he'd say; then "B." "C" would usually follow...

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

I moved in with her, yes, as a room mate.

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

Troll


Also


CHRISTIAN DOG

<@Nolio> Ilu was the man back in the day,he even made monkeywrench and arganon look good for half a round =p
<@iluvatar> it is my grandest achievement
<@Nolio> *half a round  =p
<@iluvatar> still
* Final_Doom is now known as Thanks_Iluvatar

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5 Reply by avogadro (edited by avogadro 20-Jan-2010 10:08:55)

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

Justinian, the most pathetic poster in all of IC....

please tell us again how you know for a fact that all relationships are based on convenience just because a couple personal examples were

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

Not just a few examples, but every relationship I have witnessed. To convince me that I'm wrong, you would need to find that at least 10% of successful and happy relationships are grossly imbalanced or mutually costly. I have observed that successful relationships involve interests being balanced, and ones that are coming to ruin have imbalanced interests. That proves convenience to me.

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7 Reply by [TI] The_Unknown (edited by [TI] The_Unknown 20-Jan-2010 11:05:40)

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

I agree with Justinian here, a relationship (in the broad sense of the word) where one of the two parties doesn't benefit from is a very unhealthy one, and won't last long most of the time (like 99% or so) There are of course always exceptions.
It's actually a no brainer, that's just the way humans are.

And i'm quite sure this has been "proven" before.

What do I have to work with?

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8 Reply by avogadro (edited by avogadro 20-Jan-2010 11:17:10)

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

im not interested in proving you wrong... you will change your theory on relationships just like you have constantly changed your theory on women in the past... i wont deny that there is some semblance of truth, just like there was some truth in your past statements about women...

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

> Justinian I wrote:

> Not just a few examples, but every relationship I have witnessed. To convince me that I'm wrong, you would need to find that at least 10% of successful and happy relationships are grossly imbalanced or mutually costly. I have observed that successful relationships involve interests being balanced, and ones that are coming to ruin have imbalanced interests. That proves convenience to me.


To be wrong, only 1 relationship needs to be happy and not have the qualifications that you are posting =p

Sex without the e is still SX!

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

Convenience is just a factor in the total picture. Not a sole reason.

Elrohir
"Abstract art is the product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.."

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

get to see your roommate naked yet?

Anarchy

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

all conveniences are based on relationships

The core joke of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that of course no civilization would develop personal computers with instant remote database recovery, and then waste this technology to find good drinks.
Steve Jobs has ruined this joke.

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

Hmm, I always found a financially smart thing to do.

Je maintiendrai

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

I agree with Deci, al lot of human behaviour could be(or can be) explained by selfish reasons. (if not all human behaviour)

There's only one example i can think were people don't act on selfishness: when you give your life for someone.... actually, even that can be reduced to an action of selfishness. ( Knowing you died doing something good).
Or love for example ... you love the girl because she makes YOU feel good.

It's somewhat of a paradox how those things somehow make this wolrd a better place sometimes. Let's take the recent earthquakes for example. I donated some money for it, not because i care about them, but because i would want help if i were to be in a situation like that.

Just a common goal, a common interest for a group/community, based on the reason that you would want help in a situation like that. People who think they're doing it only because they care for others are hypocrites, they care for themselves.(i'm not saying it's the only reason, but that's ussally the strongest factor)


The thought that people can do things that are not based on selfish reasons, could be just a common accepted thought/value on it's own. I think you can argue that they just want to think that, because otherwise their lives will lose (some) meaning.(or that they don't want to live wiht a thought like that).

Only the dead have seen the end of war. - Plato

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

well i find this reasoning not to be true.
a fact that i have done
i have some friends who where pretty hung up on their drugs. is ordered them to stop using it . and they did. now i feel bad that i made them stop this yet i still police that they wont do drugs.
now where is the convience in it for me, but seriously justinian , your arguments seem logical, yet they aren't .

agreed you make sense , but you forget the people who make sacrifices for a group, you forget soldiers. these are people who for no selfish reason sacrifise a whole lot of stuff, not because it makes them feel good , but because they are compelled to do right for the greater good feeling no worse or better either way .
yes most people are only intent on themself, you can judge that in comparing car accidents where the driver tried to evade.
in human nature it is predominant to saev or better himself , yet there are truly people who don't care about themselfs or their lives .

yet as alway's england prevails

neither man nor machine can withstand the fury of winter

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

You convenience is : Your friends dont die, steal from you, act ridiculous with you, get thrown out of shitholes etc.. there are many advantages to you being their friend when they do not do drugs.

To whoever said "Most if not all human behavoiur is based on selfish reasons" You are right. The rest of the bullshit in this thread is waste of space.

.::: ______This is my world now_____ :::.
.:::_____D____A____M____O____N_____:::.
~Fight for your freedom or die enslaved~
~Lemming, Fft, Blue Wing, Viking, Nomad~

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

Well, Justinian is right here.

But moving in with a girl just to become her roommate, that's just awful.

Reminds me of this guy who went on vacation with a girl... alone... slept in the same room.
And nothing happened.

Then you know you'll forever stay in the friend-zone.

This forum is stupid.

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

The one from Scrubs..with all the lame folks in it big_smile

.::: ______This is my world now_____ :::.
.:::_____D____A____M____O____N_____:::.
~Fight for your freedom or die enslaved~
~Lemming, Fft, Blue Wing, Viking, Nomad~

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

> Anarchy wrote:

> get to see your roommate naked yet?

Insane Lemming of Drama Queens and Other Hyperbolical People

1431 ftw

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

> [TI] Mrblonde wrote:

> Well, Justinian is right here.

But moving in with a girl just to become her roommate, that's just awful.

Reminds me of this guy who went on vacation with a girl... alone... slept in the same room.
And nothing happened.

Then you know you'll forever stay in the friend-zone.




Justi's been in the friend-zone forever! you'd think he'd have come out by now...stuck in the closet like he is...there's a handle! a handle! turn it!

Insane Lemming of Drama Queens and Other Hyperbolical People

1431 ftw

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21 Reply by [TI] Sitting Duck (edited by [TI] Sitting Duck 23-Jan-2010 16:40:29)

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

Convenience implies a functionality which is without doubt present in most relationships. For example there is a mutual convenience that if I lost my wallet while out in town my friends would lend me money for a taxi home and I would do the same for them.

However all the relationships I have with my friends, (most of) my family or my girlfriend are based simply on the pleasure of each others company. Because we make each other laugh or are interested in each others conversation. We have a personal connection which transcends functionality and is therefore more than convenience.

I think what Justinian is really trying to say is that no one likes him.

Just thought of a counter example: I have relationships (of a sort) with ic players. I am unlikely to ever play ic again and I can't think of a conceivable way in which I would ever ask for or expect to receive a meaningful favour from ic players. It is pretty inconvenient coming to post here because it distracts me from things that I really should be, and indeed want to be, doing. Yet those relationships still exist and I continue to return to read and post in the forum in order to maintain them.

tweehonderd graden, dat is waarom ze me mr. fahrenheit noemen, ik reis aan de snelheid van het licht, ik ga een supersonische man van u maken

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

It is normal that people do things just to get something in return. However, it just sounds so bad, while in fact it is not that bad. Isn't it a good thing that people can just feel good by making someone else happy.

Are you not in right to be happy yourself? How can you even help others if you can't even help yourself, or if you are not even happy yourself.

--

Give and receive! How much can you give before you realise that what you get in return is not enough. You know it when that relationship is over.

Elrohir
"Abstract art is the product of the untalented, sold by the unprincipled to the utterly bewildered.."

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Re: All relationships are based on convenience

Very good replies. After further thought, I think convenience may actually be a poor word choice. Perhaps it would be better to say that at least 90% of mutually satisfying relationships are based on some kind of mutual reward or return. This implies the larger question on what those rewards on based on, and I think a lot of them probably have to do with drives inherent in our biology.

Blonde,

Like I said, my motivation was to get away from my family, and rooming with her and her friends presented the most convenient opportunity to get far away from them. And I did not tell you everything because I wanted to entertain you lol. I haven't made a move on her because she has a boyfriend, and while she thinks I am physically attractive we do not have many shared interests.

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