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Topic: An Open Letter To Hillary Clinton From Satan

Dear Hillary,

There has been some chatter this past weekend amongst Obama supporters about enlisting my help in stopping your presidential campaign.  It seems to have all started when Stonecipher, an EyesOnObama.com blogger compared you to an annoying contact lens that got stuck on his eye.  Someone in the blogosphere picked up on Stone's post and at the end of their commentary begged me to intervene.

I am writing today to let you know that what I saw on that stage in Philadelphia has helped me make a decision.  You know I'm normally a Republican, but you also know I am a reasonable man.  I vote for the man (or woman) not the party.  So it's time to make it official; I, Satan, am officially endorsing Hillary Clinton for President of the US.  Of the three remaining candidates, you most closely embody the values that I hold dear.

As you may know I never really was all that fond of John McCain, but I have to admit that in the past few months he has really made an effort to speak to me on a lot more issues I care about.  I particularly like his consistent misleading references to Iran's involvement in Iraq and his commitment to at least 100 years of more war.  In all honesty though, McCain's efforts have been too little too late.  And in the debate in Philadelphia you reminded me why I fell in love with you in the first place. 

The main reason I fell in love with you Hillary is your subtlety.  You were a natural from the beginning.  Your heart has always been filled with disdain and hatred towards those less fortunate than you, but unlike that clown Dick Cheney, you are so good at making those people think you really love them while you repeatedly stab them in the back.  Oh it is wonderful to watch.   

My heart fluttered a little bit when you brilliantly painted yourself as a working class hero while at the same time you took those out of context statements from Barack Obama and made him look like a bad guy.

Speaking of Barack, it is imperative that he does not win this election.  I can't bear the thought of four years of declining war, dropping crime rates and less corporate crime.  I know you have a better chance of beating that goody two-shoes Obama than McCain does.  You're close, plus you have displayed quite an amazing ability to convince people that you're actually closer than you really are.  I trust that you got the carbon copy of that memo I sent to George W. in 2000 titled "How to Steal an Election: A New 'Supreme Court Twist' on the Classic Daley Method."   

So with all of this in mind Hillary, I am writing to make it absolutely clear to everyone that you are my first choice to become the next President of the United States of America. 

I know that this is the time you need me most, and as you are already well aware, those of us evil folk are fiercely loyal to our evil brethren.  Many of my disciples are on Digg, Reddit and Current.com as we speak, burying anything remotely pro-Obama or against your campaign.  And I'm sure you felt my presence at the ABC debate in Philadelphia in each and every inane question posed by the moderators.

Finally, I have chosen EyesOnObama.com as the place to post this endorsement letter as a warning to Obama supporters everywhere that the Prince of Darkness has found his Princess, and her name is Hillary Clinton.  I challenge any of you to stand in our way.

Sincerely,
  Satan



http://www.eyesonobama.com/blog/content/id_14244/title_An-Open-Letter-from-Satan-to-Hillary/

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Re: An Open Letter To Hillary Clinton From Satan

with one of those three assclowns gtd the Presidency I think Satan already won

The core joke of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that of course no civilization would develop personal computers with instant remote database recovery, and then waste this technology to find good drinks.
Steve Jobs has ruined this joke.

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Re: An Open Letter To Hillary Clinton From Satan

I didn't realize Satan was so biased. :\

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Re: An Open Letter To Hillary Clinton From Satan

I didn't realise Satan was so stupid.

"So, it's defeat for you, is it? Someday I must meet a similar fate..."

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Re: An Open Letter To Hillary Clinton From Satan

I didn't realise Satan had hotmail

[i]Tommy gun

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Re: An Open Letter To Hillary Clinton From Satan

I didn't realise this letter is total propaganda for obama.

"Whoever said the pen is mightier than the sword obviously never encountered
automatic weapons."-General Douglas MacArthur
"Cluster bombing from B-52s are very, very, accurate. The bombs are guaranteed
to always hit the ground."-USAF Ammo Troop

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Re: An Open Letter To Hillary Clinton From Satan

"I didn't realise this letter is total propaganda for obama."

Then you're stupid tongue

[i]Tommy gun

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Re: An Open Letter To Hillary Clinton From Satan

PVP is Satan!

"So, it's defeat for you, is it? Someday I must meet a similar fate..."

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Re: An Open Letter To Hillary Clinton From Satan

I can see a hundred million people camped on the burning lake of fire muttering "John McCain. Nuclear weapons. You know, looking back, we should have seen this coming"

The core joke of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that of course no civilization would develop personal computers with instant remote database recovery, and then waste this technology to find good drinks.
Steve Jobs has ruined this joke.

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Re: An Open Letter To Hillary Clinton From Satan

Amen to that!

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11 Reply by The Yell (edited by TheYell 22-Apr-2008 10:39:33)

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Re: An Open Letter To Hillary Clinton From Satan

May 28 2007
Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) hasn't spent much time in the Capitol this year as he seeks the GOP presidential nomination. But one of his rare appearances this week provided a pretty salty exchange with a fellow Republican.

During a meeting Thursday on immigration legislation, McCain and Sen. John Cornyn (R-Texas) got into a shouting match when Cornyn started voicing concerns about the number of judicial appeals that illegal immigrants could receive, according to multiple sources -- both Democrats and Republicans -- who heard firsthand accounts of the exchange from lawmakers who were in the room.

At a bipartisan gathering in an ornate meeting room just off the Senate floor, McCain complained that Cornyn was raising petty objections to a compromise plan being worked out between Senate Republicans and Democrats and the White House. He used a curse word associated with chickens and accused Cornyn of raising the issue just to torpedo a deal.

Things got really heated when Cornyn accused McCain of being too busy campaigning for president to take part in the negotiations, which have gone on for months behind closed doors. "Wait a second here," Cornyn said to McCain. "I've been sitting in here for all of these negotiations and you just parachute in here on the last day. You're out of line."

McCain, a former Navy pilot, then used language more accustomed to sailors (not to mention the current vice president, who made news a few years back after a verbal encounter with Sen. Patrick Leahy of Vermont).

"[Expletive] you! I know more about this than anyone else in the room," shouted McCain at Cornyn. McCain helped craft a bill in 2006 that passed the Senate but couldn't be compromised with a House bill that was much tougher on illegal immigrants.

Cornyn's office declined to comment on the incident. McCain's camp specifically denied that the senator ever claimed to know more about the immigration issue than other senators, but acknowledged that the two Republicans had quite a disagreement.

"These negotiations can be very tense, and there was a spirited exchange. That's it," said Brian Jones, spokesman for McCain's presidential campaign.

McCain's aides have acknowledged that the senator hasn't been as active in the Senate this year as he's been out campaigning. As Capitol Briefing noted Thursday, McCain hasn't cast a vote in more than five weeks now.

But Jones said McCain's staff has been deeply involved in the immigration talks.

Ultimately, a deal was crafted and, as McCain suspected, Cornyn did not join in on the final agreement.
http://blog.washingtonpost.com/capitol-briefing/2007/05/mccain_cornyn_cursing_showdown.html

Decision 2008: Miss Piggy, Goofy, or Donald Duck

The core joke of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that of course no civilization would develop personal computers with instant remote database recovery, and then waste this technology to find good drinks.
Steve Jobs has ruined this joke.

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