Ok i admit my aircannon mousetrap was stupid and sick and prbly illegal so i deleted it
But heres a good one
You get a paper shredder for like twenty bucks and get ready to take it apart because you just want the feed tray and the motorized roller. You dont want the spiral cutting blades
You get a solenoid and at the working end you put a hard rubber point so it pokes up and down
And you attach your stippler solenoid loosely to a steel rod or shelf so it pokes up and down but can slide left and right along the length of the beam. Add a screw so you can tighten it in place. You know those hole punchers where you adjust the position of the holes for a two ring or three ring binder? That sort of assembly but instead of a steel punch its this solenoid
And you combine the two, so that as the paper is rolled by the motor it passes under the stippler and it gets a neat series of perforations straight across at an adjustable point on the page
And thats how you make a desktop machine to customize "tear on the dotted line" forms and envelopes
The core joke of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that of course no civilization would develop personal computers with instant remote database recovery, and then waste this technology to find good drinks.
Steve Jobs has ruined this joke.