hehe
I'm just copy pastingn

They are hilarious.

DM: The crypt awaits you.  You see a solid black stone with runes on it.
Chris: Read the runes.
DM: Oooh.  Roll for SAN loss.
Chris: 3
DM: Wow.  (rolls dice out of sight). Uh. Lemme get my book.
Ron: Uh oh.
Rob: uh....
DM: Chris you roll again. Guys, were you watching Chris?
Rob: yes
Ron: No
DM: So you saw what happens to him?
Ron: No
Rob:...yes
DM: Roll for SAN, both of you

LOL

But sanity roll in Call of Cthulhu is a D100.

A 20 would mean hysterical blindness for days

A 1 would mean you ears gout blood and your brains boil out you nose, and your zombie would be possessed and attack the party.

Who would then have to roll a sanity check just witnessing that stuff

A very depressing system where the less "magic" you understand, the more likely your physical death; the more"magic" you learn the more certain your debilitating insanity.

I also believe a GM would first let you roll for strength to see if you can get out of it. Then rolling the severity of the anal sex. And use the outcome to ad or subtract to the sanity.

Though, any GM that does have tentacle dicks in his game is probably not a very good one

oh man that's rough.

I think I might have another one up my sleeve.

Have to work out the punch line

I still can't get over this writer's block, but here's what I've written of part 6.  For real, this time.  Sections which are missing are marked in [square brackets], with really vague descriptions of what would go there.

Part 6: [can't even think of a name for it, probably some pun about the devil again]

"Well, that sucks." said Bob.

"We know.  You've been standing there, saying that non-stop for the last ten minutes." said Sam.

"Well, that sucks."

"Stop saying that!" said Mike.

"Well, that sucks."

"Damn you!" said Mike.

"Way ahead of you on that one, fellows." said Composite Devil Man.  "I've already damned him for you."

"Well, that sucks."

"Wait, what do you mean?" said Sam, with Bob still repeating himself.

"Well, you see, much like I now own fifty dollars of Mike's cash, postage free of charge, the deal with Bob gave me control of his soul."

"So you're saying he'll keep repeating the last thing he said before you claimed ownership of his soul, as his mind is unable to function without it?" said Sam.

"Oh, vile heavens no.  His mind would be perfectly fine, if I let it be.  I'm using my powers to make him repeat that, just to mess with you guys." replied Composite Devil Man.

"And what would that be?" asked Mike.

"Well, I am every devil." said Composite Devil Man. "And you'll probably remember that a lot of devils are kind of jerks."

"Fair enough, I guess."

"Well, that..."

"Quiet, you." said Composite Devil Man.  Bob stopped talking.  "Now then, I'll just be taking your friends soul with me, back to Hell and all that.  Eternal torture, damnation, et cetera."  He turned around, and began walking away.  He clicked his fingers, and Bob began levitating along behind him.

"Hey, wait a second!" shouted Sam.  "Doesn't he get to, like, have a fiddle contest with you or something?"

Composite Devil Man stopped, and turned to face Sam.  Bob stopped levitating, and began repeating himself again.  "Don't be absurd.  I took his soul fairly as the result of a deal.  His soul for entry into my guild.  As such, no fiddling around.  He doesn't get to bet his soul on any kind of game, because he doesn't own it."

Sam replied, "So what if, like, we bet our souls against his?"

Composite Devil Man smiled.  "I suppose I'd accept that.  Though I get to pick the game."

"Sam, I'm hoping you didn't just challenge a devil to a game of his choice, with our souls as the prize.  Because that would be kind of stupid." whispered Mike.

"Don't worry.  With our whole group together, I'm pretty sure we could take him on."

"We don't have our whole group, if you haven't noticed.  Two of us aren't here, and one sold his soul to the devil to join an MMORPG guild.  I'm pretty good at a lot of games, but he's not likely to pick one I'm good at." said Mike.

"So long as he doesn't pick 'Composite Devil Man always wins' as his game, we still have some chance."

"Oh, don't worry, it has to be a game that would be considered fair amongst humans, or else I can't take souls bet on it." said Composite Devil Man.

"Comforting, from the 'prince of lies'." pointed out Mike.

"That one was the truth.  Although I guess I'd say that if I were lying, too."

"Look, can we get back to gambling our souls away after I call my friends, let them know that I'm in Hell if I, like, don't turn up for their game tonight?" said Sam.  "Now there's something I thought I'd never say after moving away from my hometown of Silent Hill."

"Oh, sure, go ahead.  Not like the combined form of all devils who ever existed or could exist has anything better to do with his time.", replied Composite Devil Man, in as obviously sarcastic a way as possible.

"'Kay, thanks." said Sam, already dialling Foggy's phone number on his mobile phone.

***

"I can't believe you actually convinced our whole group to go to that Vampire LARP tonight." said Jim, putting on a black cloak.  He had a set of fake fangs in his mouth already.

"You've all been avoiding this for so long.  I put up with Mike's outrageous munchkining, Bob's constant 'accidental' total-party-kills and Sam's insistence that everything he sees in a video game is real.  I think trying out live-action roleplaying for once isn't much to ask." said Foggy.

"In all fairness, Sam did briefly spend time in an underwater city where everyone was a moral objectivist, mysterious voices from a radio hypnotised him into killing people and it was easy to change his genes so bees would shoot out of his hands when he punched people." said Jim.  "But just because he was telling the truth that one time, he thinks he can get away with all those lies."

"I know!  I wouldn't believe any of it, if it weren't for that time he froze that guy who was about to give him a parking ticket.  Hang on, my phone's ringing, let me get this." said Foggy, answering her phone.  "Hello?  Hey Sam.  You guys aren't coming tonight? You're playing some kind of game against the Devil to get Bob's soul back?  Sorry, against *every* Devil?  You know, if you guys wanted out of the LARP, you could just tell the truth.  Not lying, huh?  Oh well, have fun with that."  She sighed, and put the phone away.

"Hey, look on the bright side.  I'm pretty sure he didn't steal that one from a game."

***

"Now that you've finished wasting my time with this, shall we begin the game?" asked Composite Devil Man.

"So, what game have you picked?" asked Mike.

"I have picked... Devilopoly." said Composite Devil Man.

"Devilopoly?"

"It's like normal Monopoly, only the 'Go to jail' square is now 'Go to Hell', and landing on it instantly gives me posession of your soul.  Also, I always get to play as the dog."

"Aw, man, I never get to play as the dog." said Sam.

"Well, that sucks." said Bob.

"Any other house rules we should know about, Composite Devil Man?"

"You know, that takes a long time to say, and probably to type out as well.  Please, call me Lew Siffer.  It's what my clients always did, back when I was in the music industry.  If you haven't guessed already, I spent my free time ensuring the spread of Killer Rock, and giving people wedding presents.  The presents were *always* Aids." said the newly-named Lew, in a voice dripping with sarcasm.

"So those crazy christian comics are true?" said Sam.

"No.  Seriously, why do people think I have this much free time on my hands?"

"To be fair, you're playing a game of 'Devilopoly' against three guys who you've never met, in order to prove you're better than a supervillain who had the sole gimmick of wasting everyone's time." said Mike.

"Point." said Lew.  "Well then, let's begin the game."  He clicked his fingers, and a table appeared, surrounded by four chairs.  Three of them were normal wooden chairs, and the other one appeared to be a huge throne made out of burning skulls.  On the table was a standard Monopoly board, with the 'Mon' crossed out and 'Devil' pencilled in.  Piles of Monopoly banknotes, property cards, houses and other playing pieces (including Lew's weapon of choice, the dog) were placed on the side of the table closest to the throne.

"Hold on, you never answered my question.  House rules.  I don't want to land on the railways, and be told that they're 'railways... to Hell!' or something." said Mike.

"Well, that sucks." said Bob.

"No other new rules, apart from that one.  I have to give you a fair chance, standard 'fiddle contest' rules.  Incidentally, that also means I have to do this."  Lew clicked his fingers one more time, and Bob stopped repeating himself.  He shook his head quickly a few times.

"Man, what just happened?", he asked.

"You, like, sold your soul to Lew Siffer, the Composite Devil Man, and we, like, bet our souls on a round of Monopoly to save you?"

"Devilopoly, but yes." said Lew. 

"Huh." said Bob.  "Can I play as the dog?"

"No." said Lew and Sam at the same time.

Lew added, "Of course, by my own rules, I have to let all of you play against me to claim all three of your souls.  It's boring with less than four people anyway."

[scenes where Lew is winning, brags about taking them to hell, etc]

"Man, I hate that we're going to die this way." said Mike.

"Sucks to die any way, really." said Sam.

"No, you don't understand.", replied Mike.  "I've got a whole will written out with what's to be done with my body if I die under pretty much any circumstance I could think of, but I honestly didn't think the devil would take me to hell whilst I was still alive."

"Wait, just what kind of circumstances are we talking about?" said Bob.

"Go on, name something.  Anything."

"Alright, let's say you die in the crossfire of a gangland shooting." suggested Bob.

"My body will be turned into bullets.  You know, like they turn the carbon in corpses into diamonds?" answered Mike.  "Then, using the money I have left, a baddass hitman who turns out to have a heart of gold will be hired to avenge my death.  He'll kill the guy who killed me using bullets made out of me, but first he'll say 'when you see the devil, tell him Mike sent you'."

"I'm sitting right here, you know." said Lew.

"That is pretty badass, actually." said Sam.  "If we survive, I'm doing that myself."

"What?  No!  You can't!  Then, if we both get shot by the same gang, and you die first but I survive for several days in critical condition, everyone will think I copied you!"

"Back to the game, fellows." said Lew. 

[after winning the game]

"So what if you were on vacation with your family, and died in a freak accident on a Disneyland ride?" asked Sam.

"Easy.  My family will promise not to sue Disney, on the condition that my corpse can be stuffed and placed amongst the characters on the 'It's a small world' ride.  I figure, traumatise some kids so much they won't go outside, they'll be the next generation of gamers.  My legacy will live on.  Bonus points if they add animatronics to it, make my corpse swivel around and smile menacingly at people."

[seriously, I can't think of anything to go in these sections.  I had a plan at one point, but I've long since forgotten it]

God damn it.  I'm sincerely asking for help here, and all I get is "wooo".  Which is probably in response to him winning some betting pool as to the lateness of my last post.
Is it good?  Bad?  Did it kill your parents in a dark alleyway, leading to you becoming a masked vigilante?  Throw me a bone here, folks!

"Oh, it's perfectly alright.  I am in the details, you know." (from part 5)
I'm reasonably sure I used "Better the composite devil man you know than the composite devil man you don't." somewhere, but I can't find it.

WTF is this? PM me at 5:46
in the mornin, crack of dawn an'
now I'm yawnin - wipe the cold out my eye
See who's this PM me - and why
It's my neighba Nolio from the #mod
Told me he was in the #nfl spot, and heard the intricate plot
of euros wanna stick me like flypaper neighbor
Slow down love, please chill, drop the caper