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Topic: Respect

To put this into context before people get the wrong idea..

This is about how respect is demanded these days rather than earned..

First off, this is only my perspective from what I have seen in my walk of life, i have only the experience of where I have grew up and appreciate it is likely to be different elsewhere. Nonetheless, i wish to bring forth the point that I have been seeing evermore in my recent walk of life.

It is mainly from teachers. I've never been one to back down from an argument if i think my side of the story is correct. However, i never raise my voice nor use anything other than political arguments. I try and show my point of view and acknowledge thiers..

Unfortunately, as of late I have discovered an alarming rate in the growth of teachers that believe they are too above us students to even look at our point of view..


Take yesterdays happening as an example. I am 17 years old, and am in sixth form.. This is basically a form of college within a secondary school.. (highschool for you americans tongue) ... and apparantly I was wearing the wrong type of shoe.. I had wore these type of shoes for the whole year... starting in september until now in july.. So i acknowledge that these shoes are apparantly the wrong type, I then point out that I have been wearing these type of shoes all year and know several others who have done the same.. She then sends me out of the room to my head of sixth form.. I am 17, being treated like a child. I find it quite rediculous at this point but reluctantly agree to go see him.

Upon arrival she turns up with me and begins by saying "this young man thinks its acceptable to wear 'plimsoles' and apparantly has been wearing them all year. When i told him it was the wrong type of shoe he became arrogant and full of himself and started accusing me of singling him out"

now, I am not the type of lad who could just sit there when a teacher was twisting my words so much.. so I decide to point outtt that fact. " I am sorry for interjecting here but I am not going to sit here and listen to this.. your twisting my words and you know it"  (just like to point out probably the wrong thing to say but this is the type of thing i mean)
The response i got was about how i should respect those older than me.. and those with superiour intellect because they are older/more experianced in life..

I was then asked to go apologize to that teacher for 'being arrogant and talking to a teacher in that manner..' Upon refusal to apologize i have been put on report ( teachers must assess my work levels and behaviour every lesson to ensure i am working otherwise i could be kicked out of the school) and i have been given a weeks detention for my troubles..

I ask, how am i supposed to respect my elders if i am treated like a child..

perhaps this has turned into just a rant... but i had to get that off my chest..

feel free to criticize my point of view and/or comment.. thanks

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2 Reply by Lizon (edited by Lizon 14-Jul-2009 19:10:06)

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Re: Respect

The thing is, if the teacher was your employer you would have simply been fired. ^.^

Welcome to the real world, leave your pride at the door. tongue

Note: At 17 years old you are a child. Don't let that shock you. tongue

To be a bit more specific here. You were at fault here, 100%. You knew the shoes were against school policy, and you insulted the school, faculty, and school board by breaking the rules knowingly for so long. The fact that you wore the shoes for so long is irreverent. If you drive down a stretch of highway all your life at 60 kph and you knew the speed limit was 40 kph and you get pulled over. Do you honestly think the cop will give you a break because you've been driving down that highway for years at 60 kph? Pfft, better pay your ticket or your going to jail.

It's that simple really. You were in the wrong, the teacher was in the right, you spoke up against the teacher in front of her class, that was disrespectful, and you think your right in all of this somehow? ^.^;

Fear not the Darkness, for without it there is no Light. Embrace the Light, for it brings forth Darkness. Embrace both, to embrace the gift of Life. ~Kai Master Creed
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Re: Respect

To be frank, if I am pulled over by a police officer for driving no more than 10 mph over the speed limit on a free way, I will ruin their career if I can. The unwritten rule is that you can go up to 12-13 mph over before the speeding laws are actually enforced, and you have to go at least 5mph over the limit to be safe, except in poor weather conditions.

Now to Humid,

In your case, you were blatantly disrespectful of the teacher, as Lizon stated. Whether you wore those shoes all year is also irrelevant because it's against school policy and you aren't granted a special exemption because you were able to get away with it for the time you did.

Respect may be something a person should earn in some social contexts, but not in others like your teacher or boss. If you don't respect your teacher or boss, you will find you have limited opportunities in life.

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4 Reply by avogadro (edited by avogadro 14-Jul-2009 20:23:41)

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Re: Respect

"To be frank, if I am pulled over by a police officer for driving no more than 10 mph over the speed limit on a free way, I will ruin their career if I can. The unwritten rule is that you can go up to 12-13 mph over before the speeding laws are actually enforced, and you have to go at least 5mph over the limit to be safe, except in poor weather conditions."

depends on the street. going 10 mph above speed limit in residential will easily get you a ticket, even 5 mph will get you a ticket on a residential. 10mph above is only really acceptable on highways.

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Re: Respect

If's it's a school zone it's even worse.

Fear not the Darkness, for without it there is no Light. Embrace the Light, for it brings forth Darkness. Embrace both, to embrace the gift of Life. ~Kai Master Creed
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Re: Respect

That's why I said freeway, heh. Ofc, I would never drive 40mph in a residential area lol.

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Re: Respect

You're seventeen, you ARE a child.

Je maintiendrai

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8 Reply by avogadro (edited by avogadro 14-Jul-2009 21:13:23)

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Re: Respect

> Justinian I wrote:

> That's why I said freeway, heh. Ofc, I would never drive 40mph in a residential area lol.


yah, didnt see that tongue

sometimes even 20 above is fine; sometimes im goin down the highway and everyone not in the right most lane is doing at least 90, gotta stay with traffic...

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Re: Respect

as for the OP

you're an idiot. Respect is earned and in different enviroments, respect is earned in different ways. Obviously you have earned little respect from the School inorder to be singled out. and its obvious why when you responded to the situation in a stupid way. when you were at the head of the sixth form, you supported the teacher's account by your reaction, you did what she accused you of, for that you are a moron. lets imagine everything happened the same except once you and the teacher was at teh head you responded " im sorry, if the teacher interpreted my actions as hostile, but that was not my intent. Although i acknowledge that these shoes are the wrong type, considering that the school year is almost over, and the widespread use of this type of shoe up to this point in the school year, by the student body and the amount the faculty has allowed the use of this type of shoe up to this point, i would appreciate being allowed to wear these shoes until the close of the school year, so that my parents, would not have to buy a new pair of shoes.

now lets explain the difference. in the first one, not only are you confirming the other's story, you are claiming superiority over them, by claiming their account is wrong, and you know their intentions, they are doing it intentionally. this leaves the head no choice, he has to side with one or the other, and you already proved the teacher was right. in my suggestion, you erase the confrontation, so the head doesnt have to pick sides, you show your side of the story, you provide a valid reason why you should be allowed to wear the shoes, and by mentioning your parents, you're showing a possible conflict he will have to confront if he doesnt side with you.

you are nothing but a whiny little bitch.

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Re: Respect

Sorry Humidity, but you do see the irony in your story, right?  In one hand, you claim about how respect is demanded rather than earned and are disgusted by it.  Yet, in your story, you were the one demanding respect and, as a result, became disrespectful to a teacher.  The rule isn't to earn respect, but to respect whoever it is in front of you, even if they are disrespectful.  Respect is earned from respecting others.

Also, as to the point about speeding, in US military bases, going above the speed limit by more than 2 MPH gives you a hefty fine by the MPs (or so I'm told).

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Re: Respect

heheehee... big_smile

for the record.. the dress code only states 'black shoes'..

seeing as the plimsoles were 100% black and also shoes.. i fail to see how i 'knew' i was in the wrong..

reguardless half the stories fake tongue..

was just bored and a popup came up saying 'earn respect.. use a condom' hehe.. thus the story smile ahh well that was fun smile

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Re: Respect

"i fail to see how i 'knew' i was in the wrong"

And yet you state in your original posting:

"So i acknowledge that these shoes are apparantly the wrong type"

This implies prior knowledge and thus an admission of guilt. ^.^

Fear not the Darkness, for without it there is no Light. Embrace the Light, for it brings forth Darkness. Embrace both, to embrace the gift of Life. ~Kai Master Creed
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13 Reply by Skoe (edited by Morbo the Annihilator 15-Jul-2009 01:28:40)

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Re: Respect

If the teacher does not see you as an equal, there can be no mutual respect. You don't respect a
King, you serve and obey him. The teacher is not a king, nor is she any better then you. They are
simply workers who are hired to educate people. Not rule them. They don't own you.

That being said respect must be shown by you. She is your "mentor" and you are in their domain...

...Though she is on a power trip.

EDIT:

A Story? Well, okay.

EDIT #2:

"This implies prior knowledge and thus an admission of guilt. ^.^"

No, it implies respect for the teachers knowledge. He knows the teacher is right, and acknowledges
her as the more likely to be correct. This respect was later thrown back in his face tongue.

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Re: Respect

if you've been wearing the same shoes for almost an entire year then it's time to get some new ones anyway, go out and grab some new plimsoles

as for the rest, I can see where you're coming from but she sees you're wearing the wrong type of shoes (apparantly) and just because you've been doing that all year and other people have been doing it doesn't mean she's wrong to tell you you shouldn't be wearing those shoes so you probably did come across as a bit arrogant

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Re: Respect

> doesn't mean she's wrong to tell you you shouldn't be wearing those
> shoes so you probably did come across as a bit arrogant

Depends on how he speaks.

Quite frankly, if hes polite pointing out that hes been wearing those shoes
all year he is in the right. That is valuable information.

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16 Reply by avogadro (edited by avogadro 15-Jul-2009 08:52:00)

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Re: Respect

"
Depends on how he speaks.

Quite frankly, if hes polite pointing out that hes been wearing those shoes
all year he is in the right. That is valuable information."

assuming that the teacher isnt out to get him, which is like 99% of the time true, i doubt he was polite.

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Re: Respect

> East wrote:

> if you've been wearing the same shoes for almost an entire year then it's time to get some new ones anyway, go out and grab some new plimsoles


I dunno where you get that idea but shoes should last at least a year given that they aren't intentionally torn up or something like that.

As for the rest, if you thought the shoes were within the dress code for shoes you should have said something like that instead of trying to defend yourself by accusing the teacher of twisting your words intentionally.  Many people believe what they infer is exactly what you implied, and you should take that into account.

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Re: Respect

> This is about how respect is demanded these days rather than earned.. <

  These days? How many times have you heard the phrase "Respect your elders"? People have been demanding respect rather than trying to earn it for centuries. We've even had wars over it, wars that make both World War's look like nasty disagreements with lots of pushing and shoving.
I was recently (within the last year) asked "Why don't you respect me?" by my girlfriend's 55 year old father. Rather than go with the usual Dr Cox style rant (but with more pent up rage) I simply stated "You haven't earned it".
The look upon his face was one of utter incomprehension. Then anger. Then he hit me.
"How about now? Have I earned it now?"
Then I hit him.
On that day I earned his son's respect, and my girlfriend realised she had spent her life being afraid of a bullying coward.

And then there's the "Niggaz", middle class white boys and upper class indian boys who are too stupid to realise that the latest dyslexically named superstar from "Duh ghetto" is actually an expesively educated son of a lawyer from Beverly Hills and is about as "Gangstuh" as Michael Jackson was in "Bad". These idots crave respect, yet have no understanding of the concept, have no idea of what it takes to be a real man.
In some cases they don't even have the smarts to realise they're being insulted.
"You've had a hard life, haven't you?"
"Yeah, cos Ima man!"

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Re: Respect

17 year olds are children

When you're a man you will have asshats in authority over you, and you can either eat shit or walk out

So I guess the mature thing to do is tell her to shove it and go home forever

Btw I had a british teacher at my high school and she was the same bitch!

Justinian never drive in CA, mr "lemme drive over the limit or else"
CHP can pepper spray handcuffed people in the face, the courts say so

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20 Reply by Justinian I (edited by Justinian I 15-Jul-2009 13:41:25)

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Re: Respect

I find it amusing that others have an ideal of what it means to be a man, because it's entirely arbitrary and few even live up to it.

But, being powerful absolutely rocks. The recipe for power requires several man-like traits such as independence, but others like "doing the right thing" are for fools. In some ways I may be some what foolish by doing the latter, since I am usually honest about my intentions with others, but I prefer having a relationship based on honesty than deception. Two years ago I even told a conservative Catholic woman I wouldn't date her because she wouldn't make herself sexually available to me, and I hope my honesty enlightened her on the reason(s) she couldn't get a boyfriend.

Now that you are becoming an adult, you can choose to either live for yourself or for others. These other idiots live for others and what's expected of them, and consequently they will never fully enjoy the rewards of life. In your case, you chose to live for an ideal that others should earn their respect. You have to realize the world isn't governed by how it should go. If you keep thinking that way, you will live a life of disappointment and guilt. Embrace the dark side where you come first, but remember the value of diplomacy, which is something you are lacking in.

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Re: Respect

Go Humi big_smile

Nah i kind of agree with you Humi because for a long time i was in the same situation i mean teachers are arses they ARE not very smart they are pretty much just told what to teach and that gives them some sort of an edge over us?  But fact is in the real world u cant just back answer when you feel like it either get ready to have ur head kicked in or fired from every job you ever manage to land wink

Frenzy
My President is black, infact hes half white so even in a racist mind hes half right wink

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Re: Respect

Justinian will get the "respect" of eating gravel while his wrists are broken by a traffic cop as 100 people watch from their cars and grin

Frenzy the day your boss holds you out as an example of a fubar loser to your coworkers, is a day you should think about leaving on your terms

The core joke of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that of course no civilization would develop personal computers with instant remote database recovery, and then waste this technology to find good drinks.
Steve Jobs has ruined this joke.

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Re: Respect

>>but others like "doing the right thing" are for fools.<<

Further revealing your lack of real world leadership experience. tongue You cannot maintain genuinely strong relationships with people who think you're a real, deep-down, asshole. Someone can always pay more, but nobody can outbid you for real respect.

Keep offering advice you know nothing about but what you've read in some silly academic's failed writing or made up. It's funny. smile

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Re: Respect

So Kemp. What percentage of wealthy and powerful people do you think are arseholes?

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25 Reply by tavius (edited by tavius 16-Jul-2009 08:41:07)

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Re: Respect

The two current richest people in the world - Warren Buffett and Bill Gates seem like pretty decent guys actually.

Both have remained married to the same women over their lifetimes to date, both are known to be personable in general and loyal to those close to them, and both have dedicated more or less their entire networths to charity while still alive.

I highly doubt the majority of those materially successful (at least those self-made) reached where they are exclusively by being pricks. Loyalty and ethics have material value in the real world if you're prepared to think longterm.

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