Reasons for being french

* When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.

* Experience the joy of winning the world cup for the first time.

* You get to eat insect food like snails and frog''s legs.

* If there''s a war you can surrender really early.

* You don''t have to read the subtitles on those late night films on TV.

* You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people''s countries.

* You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.

* Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.

* You don''t have to bother with toilets, just shit in the street.

* People think you''re a great lover even when you''re not.

There was this American tourist in Mexico, and he was getting tired of walking around, so he went up to a donkey rental place and said, ''Can I rent a donkey?'

The guy said, "We don't call them donkeys here, we call them asses. This is the only ass I have left, and you have to scratch him when you want to make him stop."

The guy rides his ass for a while, sees a hotdog stand, and asks for a hotdog. The vendor replies, "We don't call them hotdogs here we call the wieners."

Meanwhile his donkey is wandering away, so he goes up to another tourist and says "Will you hold my wiener whille I scratch my ass?"

Brave Man Jokes                                           
How do you turn a fox into an elephant?                                  Marry It!         
What should you give a woman who has everything?                      A man to show her how to work it.                 
How do you make 5 pounds of fat look good?                             Put a nipple on it.                         
Why did God create woman ?               To carry semen from the bedroom to the toilet.                         
Why do women fake orgasms ?                        Because they think men care.                 
What do you say to a woman with 2 black eyes?                   Nothing, she's been told twice already.   
If your wife keeps coming out of the kitchen to nag at you, what have you done wrong?                           Made her chain too long           
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up a woman?   
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing machine will probably never be able to support you.                   
Why do women have smaller feet than men?  It's one of those 'evolutionary things' that allows them to standcloser                           
to the kitchen sink.         
How do you know when a woman is about to say something smart?           When she starts a sentence with 'A man once told me...'                       
How do you fix a woman's watch?                  You don't. There is a clock on the oven.                     
Why do men pass gas more than women?      Because women can't shut up long enough to build up the required  pressure.   
If your dog is barking at the back door and your wife is yelling atthe front door, who do you let in first?           The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him in.                 
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?                    A woman who won't do what she's told   
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes a woman's sex driveby 90%.                         It's called a Wedding Cake.                     
Why do men die before their wives?                  They want to.

really??? drive in gyms , that's bull shit

i wonder how it would work though =P

Really funny jokes in here, keep it up... in the mean time:

a man was drowning in the river, and a man came and he said oh let me help you out.
the man drowning said "no thank you, god will save me"
a few minutes later another man comes and asks to help the man out of the river
the man drowning says "no way, i know god will save me"
a bit later on the man drowns he goes to heaven  and there asks god
"God i had so much faith in you, why didn't you save me?"
God says "i sent you two men dumbass"

A bunch of doctors are sitting round the bar, one gets drunk and says to another, "I feel so guilty!"
"why?" ask another... 
"I've been having sex with several patients"
he replies..."Ah hell, thats normal, we all do it.".... another whispers...  "Yeah but, hes a Vet."

What were the Republicans doing while the Loyalists were building the Titanic?
Building an iceberg.

Three guys, one Irish, one English, and one Scottish, are out walking along the beach together one day. They come across a lantern and a Genie pops out of it. "I will give you each one wish, that's three wishes in total", says the Genie.
The Scottish guy says, "I am a fisherman, my Dad's a fisherman, his Dad was a fisherman and my son will be one too. I want all the oceans full of fish for all eternity." So, with a blink of the Genie's eye FOOM! the oceans were teaming with fish.

The Englishman was amazed, so he said, "I want a wall around England, protecting her, so that no one will get in for all eternity." Again, with a blink of the Genie's eye POOF! there was a huge wall around England.

The Irishman asks, "I'm very curious. Please tell me more about this wall."
The Genie explains, "well, it's about 150 feet high, 50 feet thick, protecting England so that nothing can get in or out."
The Irishman says, "Fill it up with water."

LOL

People like you Yell make these forums bareable

A little boy is playing with his new football and a little girl asks if she can play. He tells her, "No. These are for boys."

The little girl runs into the house and tells her mother. The next day the girl sticks her tongue out at the boy and waves her new football in his face. The little boy angrily points to his boy's bike and says, "Oh yeah? Well, only boys can get these!"

But the next day, the little girl has the same bike. The little boy gets furious, pulls down his pants, points to his unit, and says, "Look, only boys have these and your mom can't buy you one!"

The next day he walks by and the little girl promptly pulls up her dress, points to her bits, and proclaims, "My mother tells me that as long as I have one of these, I can have as many of those as I want."

funny gladiator... that made me laugh...

the women of the future...

lol !

lol, then someone else copied me from the forums

check the "parents choose prayer over doctor,girl dies" thread in politics