I know it's old, but i stumbled uppon it, and it's still hillarious

Top 10 Reasons For Being American

1. You can spell colour wrong and get away with it.

2. You can call Budweiser beer.

3. You can be a crook and still be president.

4. If you've got enough money you can get elected to do anything.

5. If you can breathe you can get a gun.

6. You get to be really obese.

7. You can invent a new public holiday every year.

8. You can play golf in the most hideous clothes ever made any nobody seems to care.

9. You get to call everyone you've never met "buddy".

10. You can think you're the greatest nation on earth (but nobody else will agree)

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Top 10 Reasons For Being Australian

1. Dispossess Aborigines who have lived in your country for 40.000 years because you think it belongs to you.

2. Know your great-grand-dad was a murdering bastard that no civilised nation on earth wanted.

3. Annihilate England every time you play them at cricket.

4. Cricket captain not afraid to cry live on TV.

5. Tact and sensitivity.

6. Bondai Beach.

7. Other beaches.

8. Drinking cold lager on the beach.

9. Liberated attitude to homosexuals.

10. Having a bit of a swim and then drink some cold lager on the beach.

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Top 10 Reasons For Being Dutch

1. You can make jokes about the Belgians and still drink their beer.

2. Bikes are public property. Locks are a challenge.

3. You think you are a world power, but everyone else thinks Copenhagen is your capital...

4. You can get arrested for growing plants, but not for smoking them.

5. a. You can legally kill yourself.
b. You can legally be killed.

6. You're exactly like the Germans, except that nobody hates you.

7. You get to insult people and defend yourself by saying it's a national tradition.

8. You can put your finger in a dyke and it will save your country.

9. You live in the most densely populated country in Europe, and still you've never seen your neighbours.

10. If a war is started, blame the Germans. If the economy is bad, blame the Germans. If you lose your keys, blame the Germans.

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Top 10 Reasons For Being Belgian

1. You get to speak three languages, but none of them intelligible.

2. If other countries want to fight a war, they will do it in your country.

3. You can brew drinks out of fruit, and still call it beer.

4. You are either:
a. Like the French, just less romantic;
b. Like the Dutch, just less efficient;
c. Like the Germans.

5. Great chocolate. Real mayonnaise. Decent fries. The best beer.

6. No one knows anything about you, except for the Dutch and French and they make fun of you.

7. You can drive like a maniac on the road and nobody cares.

8. More scandals in a week than any other country in a decade.

9. All your famous countrymen are either imaginary, or sex-offenders.

10. Face it. It's not really a country, is it?

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Top 10 Reasons For Being Canadian

1. It beats being an American.

2. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

3. You can play ice hockey 12 months a year, outdoors.

4. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

6. A political leader can admit to smoking pot and his/her popularity ratings will rise.

5. Where else can you travel 1000 miles over fresh water in a canoe?

7. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

9. Own-an-Eskimo scheme.

8. Kill Grizzly bears with huge shotguns and cover your house in their skins.

10. Only country to successfully invade the US and burn its capital to the ground.

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Top 10 Reasons For Being English

1. Warm beer.

2. Two World Wars and One World Cup.

3. You get to accept defeat graciously in major sporting events.

4. You get to confuse everyone with the rules of cricket.

5. Union jack underpants.

6. You can live in the past and imagine you are still a world power.

7. Water shortages guaranteed every single summer.

8. Bathing once a week - whether you need to or not.

9. Ditto changing underwear.

10. Beats being Welsh or Scottish.

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Top 10 Reasons For Being French

1. When speaking fast you can make yourself sound gay.

2. Experience the joy of winning the World Cup for the first time.

3. You get to eat insect food like snails and frog's legs.

4. If there's a war you can surrender really early.

5. You don't have to read the subtitles on those late night films on Channel 4.

6. You can test your own nuclear weapons in other people's countries.

7. You can be ugly and still become a famous film star.

8. Allow Germans to march up and down your most famous street humiliating your sense of national pride.

9. You don't have to bother with toilets, just shit in the streets.

10. People think you're a great lover even when you're not.

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Top 10 Reasons For Being German

1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
6.
7.
8.
9.
10.

Okay, give them a 2nd chance:

1. Oktoberfest.

2. Oktoberfest-beer.

3. VolksWagen.

4. BMW.

5. Mercedes.

6. Audi.

7. You think Sauerkraut is delicious.

8. In-built sense of pacifism.

9. On a highway you can travel at a speed that would bring you to jail in any other country of the world.

10. Contrary to common belief laughing is not forbidden by law (yet).

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Top 10 Reasons For Being Greek

1. The police are even more corrupt than the criminals they are supposed to be chasing.

2. You get to shout about your culture although the only real culture most Greeks have is what is growing between their toes.

3. You can blow your nose in the street by pinching it between the thumb and forefinger and trumpeting forth without everyone around retching their stomach contents up at the sight.

4. Old women can sport moustaches.

5. Young women can sport moustaches.

6. You get to call the bouzouki a musical instrument when the rest of the world sees it as an instrument of torture.

7. Men can be hairier than the average grizzly bear and not get put in a zoo.

8. You are the only nation to have lost its marbles and still wants to let everyone else around the world know about it.

9. Nana Mouskouri and Demis Roussos.

10. Ridiculous bureaucracy.

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Top 10 Reasons For Being Indian

1. Chicken Madras & Cobra Lager.

2. Chicken Tikka Masala & Cobra Lager.

3. Chicken Dopiaza & Cobra Lager.

4. Meat Boona & Cobra Lager.

5. Onion Bhaji & Cobra Lager.

6. Lamb Passanda & Cobra Lager.

7. Popadoms & Cobra Lager.

8. Bombay Potato & Cobra Lager.

9. Rogan Josh & Kingfisher Lager.

10. Aggravate everyone else by shaking your head when talking & Cobra Lager of course.

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Top 10 Reasons For Being Irish

1. Stew.

2. Guinness.

3. More Guinness.

4. Pubs never close.

5. Eating stew and drinking Guinness in an Irish pub at 3 in the morning after a bout of sectarian violence.

6. No one can ever remember the night before.

7. Kill people you don't agree with.

8. 18 children because you can't use contraceptives.

9. You can get into a fight just by marching down someone's road.

10. Can use Papal edicts on contraception passed in second Vatican Council of 1968 to persuade your girlfriend that you can't have sex with a condom on.

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Top 10 Reasons For Being Italian

1. Unembarrassed to wear fur.

2. No need to worry about tax returns.

3. Can spend hours braiding girlfriend's armpit hair.

4. Country run by Sicilian murderers.

5. Glorious military history prior to about 400 A.D.

6. Political stability.

7. Flexible working hours.

8. Live near the Pope.

9. In-depth knowledge of bizarre pasta shapes.

10. Can wear sunglasses inside.

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Top 10 Reasons For Being Norwegian

1. You get to hate the Swedes and beat the Brazilians in football.

2. You live in total freezing darkness half the year and get 24 hour ozone-hole radiation the other half.

3. You can kill baby seals and eat Rudolf the Reindeer.

4. You can get capital punishment for smoking dope.

5. You have to be a woman to get anywhere.

6. You can go skiing in your knickers.

7. You get to pay the highest taxes in the world.

8. You don't need to worry about land prices rocketing - its fairly spacious.

9. When abroad you can impress people you meet with stories about killing polar bears and shagging penguins - and they believe you.

10. You can actually get bored with blondes.

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Top 10 Reasons For Being Scottish

1. You ain't English!

2. You ain't English!

3. You ain't English!

4. You ain't English!

5. You ain't English!

6. You ain't English!

7. You ain't English!

8. You ain't English!

9. You ain't English!

10. You ain't English!

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Top 10 Reasons For Being Spanish

1. The rest of Europe thinks Africa begins at the Pyrenees.

2. The rest of your country is already invaded by Moroccans.

3. Glorious history of killing South American tribes.

4. You get your beaches invaded by Germans, Danes, Brits, etc.

5. Honesty.

6. Gibraltar.

7. Everybody else makes crap paella and claims it's the real thing.

8. Supported Argentina in Falklands War.

9. Only sure way of bedding a woman is to dress up in stupid, tight clothes and risk your life in front of bulls.

10. You get to eat bull's testicles.

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Top 10 Reasons For Being Welsh

1.  You've got to be having a laugh!?