Uwe Boll isn't happy with Wired's review of Postal. We attended the US premiere of the game-to-movie director's latest film and didn't find it especially funny. Boll, in turn, doesn't find us especially funny. Here's the email we receieved yesterday evening:

chris
your review shows me only that you dont understand anything about movies and that you are a untalented wanna bee filmmaker with no balls and no understanding what POSTAL is. you dont see courage because you are nothing. and no go to your mum and [have dinner with] her  ...because she cooks for you now since 30 years  ..so she deserves it.
people like you are the reason that independent movies have no chance anymore.
uwe boll
PS:  POSTAL is R RATED   . The MPAA understood the satire  -- you not -- you dumb [Quaker]

http://blog.wired.com/games/2007/08/you-dumb-fck-uw.html

YOU PHILISTINES!
Can't you hear the SOUL of this genius cry out even in a simple email? The boiling creative fervent?  The total lack of grammar creating a raw energy that hurtles us through the total character of "your mom", who cooks "since 30 years" and "[loves] you" and not mindlessly but in the fullness of God's Creation--"so she deserves it"  in this simple sentence uberuwe affirms the essential justice of the universe while reducing it to human dimensions.  What a breath of fresh air from the turgid Euroweenie cookie cutter nihilism that has so many of us turning to Bollywood---keep Michael Moore, give us Uwe Boll!

He must die!

> Wild Flower Soul wrote:

> It's not the director, it's the game compagnies who should be stopped..

He is a twat though, and a poorly gifted one too..<

Blame the Germans:

The german gov allow german investors in films to write off 100% of the their investerment in tax deductions. The investor only has to pay taxes if the film is profitable, if not, they get to write off all costs.

Could be why all his films fail hard.

Check out the Far Cry trailer: http://www.gametrailers.com/player/30630.html
The whole movie looks low budget, barely nothing seems to fit the environment of Far Cry. And COME ON. Did they have to throw in the fat guy comedic sidekick too? Talk about wanting it to fail. Hell, the acting is so bad it makes it worthless.

Oh, and Oovuh Boll says "nobody else has made a good film in the last 10 years, I are teh onliest genius in filmland!"

The Petition for Uwe to STOP is at: 185741
The Petition for Uwe to CONTINUE is at: 1505

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Uwe_Boll#Online_Petition

> Tutor Chees wrote:

> like said, stop comparing the game with the movie, just accept he got the idea of the script while playing it and start enjoying a good movie about killing and blowing up stuff<

So because it is named after a game it is unreasonable to expect it to follow the game? That is like saying it is unreasonable to expect a sequel to follow the prequel.
The point is that these films are being made in an effort to milk the gaming cow, and so far each film has failed, and failed hard, because nobody can accept one simple, basic fact:

Your target audience, gamers, expect the game to be faithfully and religiously reproduced, only with more story. Anything else is just Saturday afternoon Sci-Fi.

DOOM should have  been watched through a hood, that made you press a button to either watch the film with no sound, or hear it with no vision.  That would have been like the new game with its damn flashlight control from HELL

you know what game they should make into a movie?  FROM RUSSIA WITH LOVE would be an awesome movie!!!

@ Tutor Chees

What has my personal opinion got to do with what the vast majority of gamers expect from a game to film conversion? You seem to be trying to imply hypocrisy where there is none.

How would the Blackhawk destroy the tank?

Hmm but my friends demand victory at all games at the toughest settings for bragging rights
Also because we are over thirty and still playing video games--gotta have some cause for feeling better than a teenager

Arfeh are you serious?  The gatling in the bh kills everything. The trick is to keep clicking the trigger briefly so the gun doesn't pause to "warm up" it is always spinning. That way with a teamspeak to your pilot the gunner can kill a tank in a couple of seconds before the tank can even aim