Inspired by Bara

5am
An alarm clock rings at 5am, Chris smacks it with his mallet he made for D&D role playing.

6am
His telephone rings, thinking he might finally get something important he wakes up and checks the phone... to find it was his alarm clock on it. Says 5 Hail Mary's for what he thought about the phone. The says what he thought about the phone to the phone.

7am
Political forum first, shower is optional. Posts true facts about Obama that no one will read, cause the right know it already and the left is in denial. Tries to be witty about it.

7:15am
Shower still optional, he now goes to the general forum and spams what he now considers the mandatory threads.

7:18am
a short appearance in IRC to surprise people and see if he has anyone online who will recognize him. No one replies, he is heart broken

7:30am
Realizes that shower might not be optional after all, hurries to take a 'quickie'

7:36am
Puts clothes on, and goes to work

8am
Once again wonders if he is losing his soul working at a lawyers office, then decides he probably lost it the day he decided to enter this field, shrugs his shoulders and marches into work.

9am
Loses his sanity as he reads boring document after boring document. Swears revenge against useless documentation

10am
Finds there is something worse than reading when his lawyer gives him a trash bucket filled with shredded documents and says "put these strips back together". Begins to plot the overthrow of the CEO of a major paper shredder company.

11am
Finds a mexican illegal immigrant in the building, takes him at gun point and tells him to do the shredded paper mission, or suffer from the gringo. He offers 10 cents and a can of refried beans as compensation, the illegal yippees and gets to work at a frenzied pace.

12pm
Runs to the office computer, running over the migrants wife and five children, turns for a second and tells them the direction to the nearest hospital for their free medical care, the hospital his lawfirm is suing... Logs on to IC and irc as quick as he can, and posts some angry conservative stuff in politics and flightfull fancy liberal things in the general forum. Yes he is bi-polar with political mania conversion. If you do not understand this it is because your not a lawyer or a Psych...

1pm
Eats the can of refried beans, and an egg from the robins desk outside the office. Gets upset that he forgot to break the egg and eat just the yolk, those egg shells hurt!

2pm
Finds lucifer standing in front of the main lawyer asking for help destroying another good company. Gives Satan a highfive as he walks by. He has to keep the main customer happy you know!

3pm
Obama stops by, forced to smile by a contract 10 pages long, Chris bites his tongue clean off. Watches as Obama signs a bill printing 100,000,000,000,000,000,000 dollars as an effort to pay for his next major program. Fortunately at that moment Chris farts from having eaten the refried beans, and the room empties at a panic. Chris takes the bill and hides it for eternity, saving the United States.

4pm
Chris is about to leave, see's the illegal alien, the documents are put back together, with painstaking precision. Stickies have been attached indicating all fraud and corruption on the document... but the illegal having not eaten has died. Chris takes him out back and adds him to the pile of dead illegals and back stabbed lawyers. It's a tough town he works in.

5pm
At home at last... oh damn... he left the milk out and in the 100 degree heat it curdled, and the yogurt, and the orange juice, and the pumpkin pie he had cooking is burned thoroughly. Oh well he eats it all so as to not waste anything.

6pm
Posting in politics again he points out the obvious from 20 different angles, yet screams in inhuman rage when the person he was posting it for denies everything and says it cant be true. The neighborhood residents seek their bomb shelters for protection.

7pm
When avogardo goes and posts some weak, lame effort to say we all need to live in turf houses Chris does lose it, armed with his improvised air artillery piece he bombards the houses in view with propane gas bombs. All the while he screams "Use logic not emotion, logic not emotion, I SAID LOGIC AND NOT EMOTION!" which is aimed at stupid posters online and all the liberals in california...

8pm
Tempature cools down, and Chris goes online hunting down elusive political stories for him to use to impress people with.

9pm
No one responds to him on irc, he sets his alarms and goes to bed, frustrated and alone another night.