Topic: Robot Lie Detector

John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmicks.

His wife Marsha had long ago given up trying to get him to change. One day John came home with another one of his unusual purchases. It was a robot that John claimed was actually a lie detector.

It was about 5:30 that afternoon when Tommy, their 11 year old son, returned home from school. Tommy was over 2 hours late. "Where have you been? Why are you over 2 hours late getting home?" asked John..
"Several of us went to the library to work on an extra credit project," said Tommy. The robot walked around the table and slapped Tommy, knocking him completely out of his chair.

"Son," said John, "this robot is a lie detector, now tell us where you really were after school."
"We went to Bobby's house and watched a movie." said Tommy.
"What did you watch?" asked Marsha.
"The Ten Commandments." answered Tommy.
The robot went around to Tommy and once again slapped him, knocking him off his chair. With his lip quivering, Tommy got up, sat down and said, "I am sorry I lied. We really watched a tape called Sex Queen."

"I am ashamed of you son," said John... "When I was your age, I never lied to my parents." The robot walked around to John and delivered a whack that nearly knocked him out of his chair.

Marsha doubled over in laughter, almost in tears and said, "Boy, did you ever ask for that one! You can't be too mad with Tommy. After all, he is your son!" The robot walked around to Marsha and knocked her out of her chair.

"I've seen things you people wouldn't believe. Attacks ships on fire off the shoulder of Orion. I watched C-beams glitter in the dark near the Tannhauser gate. All those moments will be lost in time, like tears in rain...

Time to die."

Re: Robot Lie Detector

Rofl, I'm never getting one of those.

Rehabilitated IC developer

Re: Robot Lie Detector

4/10

Pixies My pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards?

Re: Robot Lie Detector

Heard the one about the nearsighted snake who married a rope?

The core joke of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that of course no civilization would develop personal computers with instant remote database recovery, and then waste this technology to find good drinks.
Steve Jobs has ruined this joke.

Re: Robot Lie Detector

xDDD @ chwis

till the end of time..

Re: Robot Lie Detector

rofl!


Here is a good joke in return!


Why did Obama raise the taxes on Aspirin by 40%?

Because it is White and it Works!

Everything bad in the economy is now Obama's fault. Every job lost, all the debt, all the lost retirement funds. All Obama. Are you happy now? We all get to blame Obama!
Kemp currently not being responded to until he makes CONCISE posts.
Avogardo and Noir ignored by me for life so people know why I do not respond to them. (Informational)

Re: Robot Lie Detector

einstein smile

why dont you take your medicine?

<@Nolio> Ilu was the man back in the day,he even made monkeywrench and arganon look good for half a round =p
<@iluvatar> it is my grandest achievement
<@Nolio> *half a round  =p
<@iluvatar> still
* Final_Doom is now known as Thanks_Iluvatar

Re: Robot Lie Detector

You suck flint

Morbo: Morbo can't understand his teleprompter. He forgot how you say that letter that looks like a man with a hat.
Linda: It's a 't'. It goes "tuh".
Morbo: Hello, little man. I will destroy you!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpP7b2lUxVE

Re: Robot Lie Detector

hey skoe, dont call him fat!

<@Nolio> Ilu was the man back in the day,he even made monkeywrench and arganon look good for half a round =p
<@iluvatar> it is my grandest achievement
<@Nolio> *half a round  =p
<@iluvatar> still
* Final_Doom is now known as Thanks_Iluvatar

Re: Robot Lie Detector

people like that aspirin joke

some jokes die of old age
like

"Goodness, what pearls!"
"Goodness had nothing to do with it"

The core joke of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that of course no civilization would develop personal computers with instant remote database recovery, and then waste this technology to find good drinks.
Steve Jobs has ruined this joke.

Re: Robot Lie Detector

Q: Whats pink and fluffy?
A: Pink fluff.








Q: Whats blue and fluffy?
A: Pink fluff holding its breath.

Morbo: Morbo can't understand his teleprompter. He forgot how you say that letter that looks like a man with a hat.
Linda: It's a 't'. It goes "tuh".
Morbo: Hello, little man. I will destroy you!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpP7b2lUxVE

Re: Robot Lie Detector

Whats Red and Dead?


Communism

Everything bad in the economy is now Obama's fault. Every job lost, all the debt, all the lost retirement funds. All Obama. Are you happy now? We all get to blame Obama!
Kemp currently not being responded to until he makes CONCISE posts.
Avogardo and Noir ignored by me for life so people know why I do not respond to them. (Informational)

Re: Robot Lie Detector

lol DarkSide

[I wish I could obey forum rules]

Re: Robot Lie Detector

why did the chciken cross the road ?...

till the end of time..

Re: Robot Lie Detector

Because it was a social reject.

Re: Robot Lie Detector

"How tall are you son?"
"5ft an' 8ins, ma'am"
"Well forget the five feet..lets concentrate on the eight inches"

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sdffdgjfhjdfhgjhsfsdfqgsbsthzgflqkcgjhkgfjnbkmzghkmqrghqmskdghqkmsghnvhdf
qmkjghqmksdjqlskhqkmsdhqmskfhjqmskjdfhqkmsdfjhqmskfhjqkmsjdfhqkm
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kjnqsdfqsdfqsdfmkjqhgmkjnqsgkjmhzdflmghjsmdlghjsmdkghmqksdjghq

Re: Robot Lie Detector

Depressed guy: Some fool got ran over outside my house by a truck the other day.

Friend: How awful.

Depressed guy: Wish it had been me.

Friend: Don't say that!

Depressed guy: Oh don't worry, i can't drive a truck.

Re: Robot Lie Detector

DS you suck! but your jokes are awesome!

Insane Lemming of Drama Queens and Other Hyperbolical People

1431 ftw

Re: Robot Lie Detector

Urgh Flint, try non-political jokes for once....

It's brown and sticky - a stick!

God: Behold ye angels, I have created the ass.. Throughout the ages to come men and women shall grab hold of these and shout my name...

Re: Robot Lie Detector

hmm, that was a tough one Arnor, maybe...


It's small and rough - a pebble!

Insane Lemming of Drama Queens and Other Hyperbolical People

1431 ftw

Re: Robot Lie Detector

A man is throwing petol bombs at a crowd and a police officer comes along and says "Hey what are you doin?" The man reply "about 15 to the gallon"

Re: Robot Lie Detector

" My world will bow down in fear, and awe before me. Yours will burn... "

Is that a quote? If so who said it?

Re: Robot Lie Detector

A game warden sees a man throwing lit sticks of dynamite into a pond and scooping up dead fish from the top of the water.  He walks over and yells, "Hey, you can't do that!"   The man lights another stick of dynamite and tosses it at the cop, saying "You wanna talk or you wanna fish?"

The core joke of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that of course no civilization would develop personal computers with instant remote database recovery, and then waste this technology to find good drinks.
Steve Jobs has ruined this joke.