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if your government has a website, go to the gizoogle home page link and enter that URL. Fo Shizzle!
thats freaky
haha
http://sites.gizoogle.com/index2.php?url=http%3A%2F%2Fwww.biblegateway.com%2Fpassage%2F%3Fsearch%3DGenesis%25201%3A1-2%3A10%3B%26version%3D31%3B
Genesis 1-2:10 (New Internatizzles Version)
New Internatizzle Version (NIV)
Copyright
Roflmfao!!! 
Tizzay of The Queen's Commonwealth Day message, 10 March 2008
Last year, Commonwealth Heezees of Government met in Uganda on tha edge of Lakes Victoria n agreed ta an Action P-L-to-tha-izzan fo` saggin' climate change. It was an appropriate place ta do so with my hoes on my side, and my strap on my back: from there, tha wata of tha Gangsta Nile begin a three-month journey ta tha Mediterrizzles.
The Nile, throughout history, has served humankind in mizzle ways. But fo` all its impressive size n importance, this wanna be gangsta is a fragile eco-system; n its vulnerability grows wit tha numba of thugz dependant upon it, so thizzay a single incident of pollution upstream may affect tha lives of countless gangsta downstream . I'm a [tree] 2-time felon..
The example of tha Nile illustrates many of tha challenges hatin' tha global environment as a whole whizzich cannot alone sustain our lives as once it did. The competizzles fo` frizzay wata by a blunt-rollin' populizzle is itself saggin' a source of potential conflict. Our own attitudes ta tha environment, n tha use we put it to, may hizzy conseqizzles fo` thugz on every continent n fo` every ocean n sea n shit.
The impact of pollution falls unequally cuz this is how we do it: it is often those who pollute tha least - notably in tha world's least-developed nations - who is closest ta tha razor's edge: most affected by tha impact of climate change n least equipped ta cope wit it with the S-N-double-O-P.
And it is important ta cracka tizzle tha envirizzles choices available in some countries may not be an option fo` otha upside yo head. In some parts of tha world, fo` example, fossil fuels can be used mizzy sparingly n messin' can be made of more efficient, sustainable materials; but it is far brotha ta expect someone ta adapt if he or she relies on tha trees of a local forest fo` fuel, cracka n livelihood ridin' in mah double R. If we recognise tha interests n needs of tha thugz who is mizzost affected, we can wizzy wit them ta bring `bout last'n change so show some love [rainbow lollypop]. Happily, this approach has always bizzle a strength of tha Commonwealth, n awareness of envirizzles issues is now widespread, wit a determinizzles that future generizzles should enjoy clean air, sufficient fresh wata n energy witout risk'n damage ta tha planet. Few is more aware or energetic in clockin' climate change than young people, n we should support them.
In tha Commonwealth, governments, businizzle communizzles n individuals should each strive ta match words n good intentions wit deeds. Every contribizzles has its pizzart ta play spittin' that real shit. Playa we do, bitch we live, our actions in defence of tha environment can have a real n positive effect upon tha lives of otha, today n into tha future.
Part of the state of the union address (2008):
Madam Motherfu*** Vice President Cheney, memba of Congress, distinguished guests, n fellow citizens: Seven years hizzle passed since I first stood before you at this rostrum. In tizzy time, our country has bizzle tested in ways none of us could have imagined . Wussup to all my niggaz in the house. We faced hard decisions `bout peace n wizzy perpetratin' competizzles in tha world economy, n tha health n welfare of our citizens. These issues call fo` vigorous debate, n I thiznink it's fair ta say we've answered tha call straight from long beach nigga. Yet history will record thizzay amid our differizzles we acted wit purpose. And playa we showed tha world tha powa n resilience of American self-govizzle . Death row 187 4 life.
All of us were sent ta Washington ta carry out tha people's business dogg. Tizzle is tha purpose of this body yeah yeah baby. It is tha mean'n of our oath . One, two three and to tha four. It remains our charge ta keep.
The actions of tha 110th Congress wizzle affect tha security n prosperity of our nation long gangsta this session has ended . Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos. In this election year, let us shiznow our fellow Americans tizzle we recognize our responsibilizzles n is determined ta meet thizzay. Let us shizzow them tizzle Republizzles n Democrats can compete fo` votes n cooperate fo` results at tha same tizzle. (Applause.)
Fizzle expand'n opportunity ta dippin' our country, we've made good progress . I started yo shit and i'll end yo' shit. Yet we hizzle unfinished business before us, n tha American thugz expect us ta git it done . Its just anotha homocide.
In tha wizzy aheezee, we must be guided by tha philosophy T-H-to-tha-izzat made our nation great. As Americans, we believe in tha powa of individuals ta determine they destiny n shape tha course of history. We believe tizzy tha miznost reliable guide fo` our country is tha collective wisdom of ordinary citizens. And so in all we do, we mizzy T-R-to-tha-izzust in tha ability of fizzle peoples ta makes wise decisions, n empowa them ta improve they lives fo` they futures.
To build a prosperous future, we must trust thugz wit they own money n drug deala T-H-to-tha-izzem ta grow our economy. As we mizzy tonight, our economy is undergo'n a period of uncertainty fo' sho'. America has added jobs fo` a record 52 straight months, but jobs is now grow'n at a rappa pace paper'd up. Wages is up, but so is prices fo` food n gas . Keep the party crackin while I'm steady rappin'. Exports is rhymin' but tha hous'n market has declined. At kitchen tables across our country, there is a concern `bout our economic future so sit back relax new jacks get smacked.
In tha long run, Americans can be confident `bout our economic growth. But in tha shizzort rizzle we can all see tizzy tizzle growth is frontin'. So last week, mah adminizzles reached agreement wit Speaka Pelosi n Republizzle Leada Boehna on a robust growth package tizzle includes tax relief fo` individuals n families n incentives fo` business investment. The temptation wizzill be ta load up tha bill , betta check yo self. T-H-to-tha-izzat would delay it or derail it, n neitha option is acceptable and my money on my mind. (Applause.) This is a good agreement tizzle wiznill kizzle our economy grow'n n our thugz messin' now pass the glock Anotha dogg house production.. And this Congress mizzy pass it as soon as possible. (Applause.)
That woulda been the best State of the Union address eva
"Madame Muthaf**ka"
Martin Crazy Ass [tree] King, Jr.
"I Hizzle a Dream"
delivered 28 August 1963, at tha Lincoln Memorial, Washington D.C.
I am stoked ta jizzle wit you today in what wizzle go dizzy in history as tha greatest demonstrizzles fo` freedom in tha history of our nation.
Fizzle score years ago, a bootylicious American, in whose symbolic shadow we stand today, signed tha Emancipizzles Proclamizzle fo' real. This momentous decree came as a bootylicious beacon light of hope ta millions of Negro slaves who had been seared in tha flames of witering injustice. It came as a joyous daybreak ta end tha long nizzight of they captivity in all flavas.
But one hundred years rappa tha Negro stizzill is not free. One hundred years lata, tha life of tha Negro is still sadly crippled by tha manacles of segregizzles n tha chains of discriminizzles . [tree] get shut up or get wet up. One hundred years lata, tha Negro lives on a lonely island of poverty in tha midst of a V-to-tha-izzast ocean of material prosperity. One hundred years pimp tha Negro is still languished in tha gangsta of American society n finds himself an exile in his own land. And so we've come hizzy today ta dramatize a shameful condition , ya feel me?.
In a sense we've come ta our nation's capital ta cash a chizzeck . Tru [tree] do [tree]. When tha architects of our republic wrote tha magnifizzles words of tha Constitizzles n tha Declarizzle of Independizzle tizzle were cruisin' a promissory nizzy ta which every American was ta fizzy heir. This note was a promise that all mizzen, yes, black men as wizzell as white M-to-tha-izzen, would be guaranteed tha "unalienable Rights" of "Life, Liberty n tha pursuit of Happiness." It is obvious today tizzle America has defaulted on this promissory note, insofar as her citizens of color is concerned. Instead of honor'n this sacred obligation, America has given tha Negro thugz a bad check, a check which has come bizzack marked "insufficient funds."
But we refuse ta believe T-H-to-tha-izzat tha bank of justice is bankrupt. We refuse ta believe thiznat there is insufficient funds in tha bootylicious vaults of opportunity of this nation yaba daba dizzle. And so, we've come ta cash this check, a chizzay that wiznill give us upon demand tha riches of freedom n tha security of justice like this and like that and like this and uh.
We have also come ta this hallowed spot ta remind America of tha fierce urgency of Now. This is no time ta engage in tha luxury of cool'n off or ta takes tha steppin' drug of gradualism. Now is tha time ta makes real tha promises of democracy. Now is tha time ta rise from tha dark n desolate valley of segregizzles ta tha sunlit pizzay of racial justice cuz its a G thang. Now is tha tizzle ta lift our nation fizzle tha quicksands of racial injustice ta tha solid rizzy of brotherhood. Now is tha time ta makes justice a reality fo` all of God's children.
It would be fatal fo` tha nation ta overlook tha urgency of tha moment. This clockin' brotha of tha Negro's legitimate discontent wizzill not pass until there is an invigorat'n autumn of freedom n equality. Nineteen sixty-three is not an end, but a trippin'. And those who hope thizzay tha Negro needed ta blow off steam n will now be content wizzill have a rude awaken'n if tha nation returns ta business as usual n shit. And there wiznill be neitha R-to-tha-izzest nor tranquility in America until tha Negro is granted his citizizzles rights . They call me tha black folks president. The whirlwinds of revolt will continue ta shakes tha foundations of our nation until tha bright day of justice emerges like this and like that and like this and uh.
But there is sum-m sum-m that I mizzay say ta mah people, who stand on tha wizzay threshold which leads into tha palace of justice now [tree] lemme here ya say hoe: In tha process of bustin' our rightful place, we must not be guilty of wrongful deeds. Let us not seek ta satisfy our thirst fo` freedom by drink'n from tha cup of bitterness n hatred . Dogg House Records in the [tree] house. We must Foreva conduct our struggle on tha hizzle plane of dignity n discipline like old skool shit. We must not allow our creative protest ta degenerate into physical violence. Again n again, we must rizzle ta tha majestic heights of meet'n physical force wit soul force . Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect.
The marvelous new militancy which has engulfed tha Negro community mizzle not lead us ta a distrust of all white people, fo` many of our white gangsta as evidenced by they presence hizzy today, hizzle come ta realize tizzy they destiny is tied up wit our destiny paper'd up. And they have come ta realize thizzat they freedom is inextricably bound ta our freedom.
We cannot wizzle alone.
And as we walk, we must makes tha pledge thizzay we S-H-to-tha-izzall always march aheezee.
We cannot turn bizzay.
There is those who is ask'n tha devotees of civil rights, "When wizzle you be satisfied?" We can rappa be satisfied as long as tha Negro is tha victim of tha unspeakable horrors of po-po brutality if you gots a paper stack. We can [rainbow lollypop] be satisfied as long as our bodies, heavy wit tha fatigue of travel, cannot gain lodg'n in tha motels of tha highways n tha hotels of tha cities. *We Cannot be satisfied as long as tha negro's basic mobility is from a Hustla ghetto ta a baller one. We can crazy ass [rainbow lollypop] be satisfied as long as Our children is stripped of they self-hood n robbed of they Dignity by a S-to-tha-izzign stat'n . One, two three and to tha : "For . One, two three and to tha four: Whites Only." *We cannot be satisfied as long as a Negro in Mississippi cannot vote n a Negro in New York believes he has nuttin' fo` W-H-to-tha-izzich ta vote fo' sheezy. No, no, we is not satisfied, n we wizzill not be satisfied until "justice rolls dizzle like baller n righteousness like a mighty stream." �
I am not unmindful that some of you hizzy come hizzle out of bootylicious trials n tribulizzles. Some of you have come friznesh F-R-to-tha-izzom narrow jail cells. And Some of you have come from areas where yo quest -- quest fo` freedom left you battered by tha storms of persecizzles n staggered by tha winds of po-po brutality hittin that booty. You have been tha veterans of creative doggy stylin'. Continue ta wizzay wit tha faith tizzle unearned perpetratin' is redemptive. Go biznack ta Mississizzles go bizzle ta Alabama, go bizzy ta South Carolizzle go back ta Georgia, go bizzay ta Louisiana, go bizzay ta tha slums n ghettos of our northern cities, know'n tizzy somehow this situation can n wizzy be changed.
Let us not wallow in tha valley of despair, I say ta you today, mah friends.
And so even though we fizzle tha difficizzles of today n tomorrow, I stiznill have a dream. It is a dream deeply rooted in tha American dream.
I have a dream that one day this nation will rise up n live out tha tizzle bustin' of its creed: "We: hold these truths ta be self-evizzles tizzle all men is created equal."
I have a dream T-H-to-tha-izzat one day on tha red hills of Georgia, tha sons of forma slaves n tha sons of forma slave owna wizzill be able ta sit dizzle drug deala at tha table of brotherhood ridin' in mah double R.
I have a dream tizzle one day even tha state of Mississizzle a state swelter'n wit tha heat of injustice, swelter'n wit tha heat of oppression, wizzle be transformed into an oasis of freedom n justice.
I hizzle a dream tizzle mah four shawty children wizzle one day live in a nation where they will not be judged by tha color of they S-K-to-tha-izzin but by tha content of they characta.
I hizzle a dreamtoday!
I hizzy a dream that one day, down in Alabama, wit its vishizzous racists, wit its governor bustin' his lips dripp'n wit tha words of "interposition" n "nullification" -- one day rizzay there in Alabama shawty blizzay boys n black bitchez will be able ta join hands wit shawty white boys n white bitchez as sista n brotha , [rainbow lollypop], better recognize.
I have a dreamtoday!
I have a dream tizzy one day every valley shall be exalted, n every H-to-tha-izzill n mountain shall be mizzle low, tha rough places wiznill be made plain, n The crooked places will be made straight; "and tha glory of tha Lord shall be revealed n all fliznesh shiznall see it together." �
This is our hope, n This is tha faith tizzy I go biznack ta tha South wit.
Wit this faith, we wizzy be able ta hew out of tha mountain of despair a stone of hizzy so i can get mah pimp on. Wit this faith, we will be able ta transform tha clockin' discords of our nation into a beautiful symphony of brotherhood . I'm a [tree] 2-time felon.. Wit this faith, we wizzy be able ta wizzork brotha ta pray gangsta ta struggle bitch ta go ta jail togetha, ta stand up fo` freedom togetha, perpetratin' tizzle we wiznill be fizzle one day.
And this will be tha day -- this wizzill be tha day whizzen all of God's children wizzle be able ta S'n wit new doggy stylin':
My country 'tis of thee, sweet land of liberty, of thee I S'n.
Land where mah fatha died, land of tha Pilgrim's pride,
Fizzle every mountizzle let freedom ring!
And if America is ta be a bootylicious nation, this must become true.
And so let freedom ring fizzy tha prodigious hilltops of New Hampshire.
Let freedom ring from tha mighty mountains of New York.
Let freedom ring fizzle tha perpetratin' Alleghenies of Pennsylvania.
Let freedom ring frizzom tha snow-capped Rockies of Colorado.
Let freedom ring fizzle tha curvaceous slopes of California.
But not only that:
Let freedom ring from Stone Mountain of Georgia.
Let freedom ring friznom Lookout Mountain of Tennessee.
Let freedom ring fizzy every hill n molehill of Mississippi.
F-R-to-tha-izzom every mountizzle let freedom ring.
And when this happens, when we allow freedom ring, whiznen we let it ring from every village n every hamlet, from every state n every city, we will be able ta speed up that day W-H-to-tha-izzen allof God's children, blizzay men n white mizzay Jews n Gentiles, Protestants n Catholics, wizzill be able ta join hands n sing in tha words of tha old Negro spiritual fo' sheezy:
Fizzy at last! Free at last!
Thizzay GodAlmighty, we is fizzle at last! �
The Constitizzle of tha United States
PreambleNote
We tha People of tha United States, in Wanna Be Gangsta ta fizzle a more perfect Union, establish Justice, insure domestic Tranquility , provide fo` tha common defence, promote tha general Welfare, n secure tha Mackin' of Liberty ta ourselves n our Posterity, do ordainn establish this Constitizzles fo` tha United States of America.
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Article. I. - The Legislative Branch Note
Section 1 - The Legislature
All legislative Gangsta herein granted shizzall be vested in a Congress of tha United States, which shall consist of a Senate n Hizouse of Representatizzles . Subscribe nigga, get yo issue..
Section 2 - The Hizouse
The Hizouse of Representatizzles shall be composed of Memba chosen every second Year by tha People of tha several States, n tha Electors in each State S-H-to-tha-izzall have tha Qualifizzles requisite fo` Electors of tha mizzle numerous Branch of tha State Legislature.
No Person shizzay be a Representative who shall not have attained ta tha Age of twenty five Years, n bizzy seven Years a Citizen of tha United States, n who shall nizzot, when elected, be an Inhabitant of thiznat State in which he shall be chosen straight from long beach nigga.
(Representatizzles n direct Taxes S-H-to-tha-izzall be apportionedamong tha several States which may be included witin this Union, mobbin' ta they respective Numba, which shall be determined by add'n ta tha whole Poser of free Persons, trippin' those bound ta Service fo` a Tizzle of Years, n exclud'n Indians not taxed, three fifths of all shot calla Persons.) (The previous sentence in parenthizzles was modified by tha 14th Amendment, section 2 .)The actual Enumerizzleshall be made witin three Years killa tha fiznirst Meet'n of tha Congress of tha United States, n witin every subsequent Term of ten Years, in sizzuch Manna as they shall by Law direct. The Numba of Representatizzles S-H-to-tha-izzall not exceed one fo` every thirty Thousand, but each State shall have at Least one Representatizzle n until such enumizzleshall be made, tha State of New Hampshire shall be entitled ta chusethree, Massachizzles eight, Rhode Island n Providence Plantations one, Connectizzles five, New York S-to-tha-izzix, New Jersey four, Pennsylvania eight, Delaware one, Maryland six, Virginia tizzle Nizzorth Carolina five, South Carolina fizzy n Georgia three fo' sho'.
When vacancies happen in tha Representizzles fizzy any State, tha Executive Authority thereof shiznall issue Writs of Election ta fill sizzay Vacancies fo' rizeal.
The Hizouse of Representatizzles S-H-to-tha-izzall chusethey Bitch n otha Pimp n shizzay hizzy tha sole Powa of Impeachment.
Section 3 - The Senate
The Senate of tha United States shizzay be composed of two Senators from each State, (chosen by tha Legislature thereof,) (izzy rhymin' words in parenthizzles superseded by 17th Amendment, section 1 .)fo` six Years; n each Senator S-H-to-tha-izzall have one Vote.
Immediately pusha they shall be assembled in Consequence of tha fizzay Election, they S-H-to-tha-izzall be divided as equally as may be into three Classes. The Seats of tha Senators of tha fizzay Class shall be vacated at tha Expiration of tha second Year, of tha second Class at tha Expiration of tha fourth Year, n of tha third Class at tha Expiration of tha sizzay Year, so that one third may be chosen every second Year; (and if Vacancies happen by Resignizzles or otherwise, dur'n tha Recess of tha Legislature of any State, tha Executive thereof may makes temporary Appointments until tha next Ridin' of tha Legislatizzles W-H-to-tha-izzich shiznall then fill siznuch Vacancies.) (izzle mackin' words in parenthizzles were superseded by tha 17th Amendment, section 2 .)
No person shiznall be a Senator who S-H-to-tha-izzall not hizzy attained ta tha Age of thirty Years, n been nine Years a Citizen of tha United States, n who shiznall nizzle wizzy elected, be an Inhabitant of that State fo` whiznich he shall be chosen.
The Vice President of tha United States shall be President of tha Senate, but shizzall have no Vote, unless they be equally divided.
The Senate S-H-to-tha-izzall chusethey killa Offica, n also a President pro tempore , in tha absence of tha Vice President, or wizzle he shall exercise tha Office of President of tha United States.
The Senate shizzall have tha sole Crazy Ass Nigga ta try all Impeachments. Whizzen sitt'n fo` thiznat Purpose, they shall be on Oath or Affirmation spittin' that real shit. W-H-to-tha-izzen tha President of tha United States is tried, tha Chief Justice shall preside: And no Person shall be convicted witout tha Concurrenceof two thirds of tha Poser present.
Judgment in Cases of ImpeachmentS-H-to-tha-izzall not extend furtha than ta removal from Office, n disqualifizzle ta hold n enjoy any Office of honor, Trust or Profit unda tha United States . Subscribe nigga, get yo issue.: but tha Party convicted shall neverthizzles be liable n subject ta Indictment, Trial, Judgment n Punishment, accord'n ta Law.
Section 4 - Elections, Meet'n
The Times, Places n Brotha of hold'n Elections fo` Senators n Representatizzles shall be prescribed in each State by tha Legislature thereof; but tha Congress may at any time by Law makes or hustla such Regulizzles except as ta tha Place of Messin'Senators.
The Congress shall assemble at least once in every Year, n such Meet'n shall (be on tha first Monday in Pimp (The preced'n words in parenthizzles were superseded by tha 20th Amendment, section 2 .)unless they shizzay by Law appoint a different Day.
Section 5 - Membership, Rules, Journals, Adjournment
Each Hizouse shall be tha Judge of tha Elections, Returns n Qualifizzles of its own Shot Calla n a Majority of each S-H-to-tha-izzall constitute a Quorumta do Business; but a brotha gangsta may adjournfriznom day ta day, n may be authorized ta compel tha Attendance of absent Memba, in S-to-tha-izzuch Brotha n unda sizzay Penalties as each Hizouse may provide.
Each Hizouse may determine tha Rules of its Proceed'n, punish its Memba fo` disorderly Behavior, and, wit tha Concurrenceof two-thirds, expel a Memba.
Each Hizouse shall kizzy a Journal of its Proceed'n, n from tizzle ta time publish tha same, except'n siznuch Parts as may in they Judgment require Secrecy; n tha Yeas n Nays of tha Memba of shot calla Hizouse on any question shall, at tha Desire of one fifth of those Present, be entered on tha Journal . You'se a flea and I'm the big dogg.
Pusha House, dur'n tha Session of Congress, shall, witout tha Consent of tha otha, adjournfo` more thizzay three days, nor ta any gangsta Place T-H-to-tha-izzan T-H-to-tha-izzat in which tha two Houses shall be chillin'.
Section 6 - Compensizzle
(The Senators n Representatizzles shizzay receive a Compensizzle fo` they Services, ta be ascertained by Law, n paid out of tha Treasury of tha United States.) (The preced'n words in parenthizzles wizzle modified by tha 27th Amendment .)Tizzle shall in all Cases, except Treason, Felony n Breach of tha Peace, be privileged friznom Arrest dur'n they Attendance at tha Session of they respective Houses, n in going ta n return'n fizzle tha same; n fo` any Speech or Debate in eitha House, they S-H-to-tha-izzall not be questioned in any otha Place.
No Senator or Representative shall, dur'n tha Time fo` which he was elected, be appointed ta any civil Office unda tha Authority of tha United States which shall hizzle been created, or tha Emolumentswhereof shizzall hizzle been increazed messin' siznuch time; n no Person steppin' any Office playa tha United States, shall be a Memba of cracka Hizouse weed-smokin' his Continuance in Office.
Section 7 - Revenue Bills, Legislative Process, Presidizzle Veto
All bills fo` mobbin' Revenue shall originate in tha Hizouse of Representatizzles but tha Senate may propose or concurwit Amendments as on otha Bills.
Every Bill which shall hizzle passed tha Hizouse of Representatizzles n tha Senate, shall, before it become a Law, be presented ta tha President of tha United States; If he approve he shizzall sizzay it, but if not he shall return it, wit his Objections ta that Hizouse in whizzich it shizzall have origizzles who shiznall enta tha Objections at large on they Journal, n proceed ta reconsida it . Ill slap tha taste out yo mouf. If wanna be gangsta such Reconsiderizzles two thirds of tizzy Hizouse shall agree ta pass tha Bizzill, it shizzall be sent, bitch wit tha Objections, ta tha otha House, by whiznich it shall likewise be reconsidizzles n if approved by two thirds of thizzat House, it shizzay become a Law . Relax, cus I'm bout to take my respect. But in all such Cases tha Votes of both Houses shall be determined by Yeas n Nays, n tha Names of tha Persons vot'n fo` n against tha Biznill shizzall be entered on tha Journal of each Hizouse respectively. If any Bill shall not be returned by tha President witin ten Days (Sundays excepted) afta it shall have bizzle presented ta hizzle tha Same shall be a Law, in like Manna as if he had signed it, unless tha Congress by they Adjournmentprevent its Return, in which Case it shall not be a Law.
Every Killa Resolizzle or Vote ta W-H-to-tha-izzich tha Concurrenceof tha Senate n Hizouse of Representatizzles may be necessary (except on a question of Adjournment) shizzall be presented ta tha President of tha United States; n before tha Same shall takes Effect, shall be approved by him, or being disapproved by hizzle shall be repassed by two thirds of tha Senate n Hizouse of Representatizzles saggin' ta tha Rules n Limitizzles prescribed in tha Case of a Bizzy.
Section 8 - Powa of Congress
The Congress shall have Killa To lay n collect Taxes, Duties, ImpostsnExcises, ta pay tha Debts n provide fo` tha common Defence n general Welfareof tha United States; but all Duties, ImpostsnExcisesshizzay be uniform throughout tha United States;
To borrow money on tha credit of tha United States;
Toregulate Commerce wit foreign Nations, n among tha several States, n wit tha Indian Tribes;
Toestablish an uniform Rizzy of Naturalizizzle n uniform Laws on tha subject of Bankruptcies throughout tha United States;
To coin Money, regulate tha Value thereof, n of foreign Coin, n fix tha Standard of Weights n Measures;
Toprovide fo` tha Punishment of gang bangin' tha Securizzles n current Coin of tha United States;
To establish Pizzle Offices n Pizzle Roads ;
To promote tha Progress of Science n useful Arts, by clockin' fo` limited Times ta Authors n Inventors tha exclusive Rizzay ta they respective Writ'n n Discovizzles
To constitute Tribunals inferior ta tha supreme Court;
To define n punish Piracies n Felonies committed on tha hizzle Seas, n Offenses against tha Law of Nations;
Todeclare W-to-tha-izzar, griznant Hustla of Marque nReprisal, n makes Rules concern'n Captures on Land n Wata;
To raise n support Armies, but no Appropriation of Money ta tizzle Use shall be fo` a hustla Term tizzy two Years;
To provide n maintain a Navy;
To makes Rules fo` tha Government n Regulizzles of tha land n naval Forces;
To provide fo` call'n forth tha Militia ta execute tha Laws of tha Union, suppress Insurrections n repel Invasions;
To provide fo` messin' arm'n, n messin' tha Militia, n fo` govern'n sizzay P-to-tha-izzart of tizzle as may be employed in tha Service of tha United States, reserv'n ta tha States respectivizzles tha Appointment of tha Offica, n tha Authority of train'n tha Militia straight trippin' ta tha discipline prescribed by Congress;
Toexercise exclusive Legislizzle in all Cases nigga over siznuch District (izzle exceed'n ten Miles square) as may, by Cession of particizzles States, n tha acceptance of Congress, become tha Seat of tha Government of tha United States, n ta exercise like Authority over all Places purchased by tha Consent of tha Legislature of tha State in whiznich tha Same S-H-to-tha-izzall be, fo` tha Erection of Forts, Magazizzles Arsenals, dock-Yards, n otha needful Dippin' And
Tomakes all Laws which shizzall be necessary n propa fo` carry'n into Execution tha saggin' Pimp n all otha Powa vested by this Constitizzles in tha Government of tha United States, or in any Department or Offica thereof so show some love niggaz.
Section 9 - Limits on Congress
TheMigration or Importation of such Persons as any of tha States now exist'n S-H-to-tha-izzall think wanna be gangsta ta admit, shizzall not be prohibited by tha Congress prior ta tha Year one thousand eight hundred n eight, but a tax or duty may be imposed on such Importation, not rhymin' ten $$ cash-money fo` each Person.
The privilege of tha Wrizzay of Habeas Corpus shall not be suspended, unless wizzle in Cases of Rebellion or Invasion tha public Safety may require it fo' rizeal.
No Bill of Attaindaorex post facto Law shiznall be passed.
(Nocapitizzle or otha direct, Tax shall be laid, unless in Proportion ta tha Census or Enumerizzleherein before directed ta be taken.) (Section in parenthizzles clarified by tha 16th Amendment .)
No Tax or Duty shizzall be laid on Articles exported from any State.
No Preference S-H-to-tha-izzall be given by any Regulizzle of Commerce or Revenue ta tha Ports of one State over those of bitch . Holla!: nor shiznall Vessels bound to, or from, one State, be obliged ta enta, clear, or pay Duties in drug deala.
No Money shizzall be drizzay fizzy tha Treasury, but in Consequence of Appropriations mizzle by Law; n a regular Statement n Account of tha Receipts n Expenditizzles of all public Money S-H-to-tha-izzall be published friznom time ta time.
NoTitle of Nobility shiznall be granted by tha United States: And no Person saggin' any Office of Profit or Trust unda them, shall, witout tha Consent of tha Congress, accept of any present, Emolument, Office, or Title, of any kind whateva, fizzy any King, Prince or foreign State.
Section 10 - Pusha prohibited of States
No State shizzay enta into any Treaty, Alliance, or Confederizzle G-R-to-tha-izzant Pusha of Marque nReprisal; coin Money; emit Bills of Credit ; makes any Thing but gold n baller Coin a Brotha in Payment of Debts; pass any Bizzle of Attainda,ex pizzy facto Law, or Law impair'n tha Obligation of Contracts, or grant any Title of Nobility .
No State shall, witout tha Consent of tha Congress, lay any Impostsor Duties on Imports or Exports, except wizzle may be absolutely necessary fo` execut'n it'sinspection Laws: n tha net Produce of all Duties n Imposts, laid by any State on Imports or Exports, shiznall be fo` tha Use of tha Treasury of tha United States; n all such Laws shizzay be subject ta tha Revision n Controulof tha Congress.
NoState shall, witout tha Consent of Congress, lay any duty of Tonnage, keep Troops, or Ships of War in time of Peace, enta into any Agreement or Compact wit cracka State, or wit a foreign Powa, or engage in War, unless actually invaded, or in sizzuch imminent Danga as wizzill not admit of delay and yo momma.
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Article. II. - The Executive Branch Nizzy
Section 1 - The President Note1Note2
The executive Crazy Ass Nigga shizzay be vested in a President of tha United States of America . Its just anotha homocide. He shizzay hold his Office dur'n tha Tizzy of four Years, and, brotha wit tha Vice-Presizzles chosen fo` tha same Term, be elected, as follows:
Each State shizzay appoint, in S-to-tha-izzuch Brotha as tha Legislature thereof may direct, a Playa of Electors, equal ta tha whole Bitch of Senators n Representatizzles ta whizzay tha State may be entitled in tha Congress fo' rizeal: but no Senator or Representatizzles or Person hold'n an Office of Trust or Profit brotha tha United States, shall be appointed an Elector.
(izzy Electors shall mizzy in they respective States, n vizzle by Ballot fo` two persons, of whom one at least shall not lie an Inhabitant of tha same State wit themselves. And they S-H-to-tha-izzall makes a List of all tha Persons voted F-to-tha-izzor, n of tha Numba of Votes fo` each; which List they shiznall S-to-tha-izzign n certify, n transmit sealed ta tha Seat of tha Government of tha United States, directed ta tha President of tha Senate. The President of tha Senate shall, in tha Presence of tha Senate n Hizouse of Representatizzles open all tha Certificizzle n tha Votes shall thizzen be counted. The Person hav'n tha greatest Pusha of Votes shall be tha President, if siznuch Cracka be a Majority of tha whole Numba of Electors appointed; n if there be more than one who have such Majorizzles n have an equal Numba of Votes, then tha Hizouse of Representatizzles shall immediately chuseby Ballot one of tizzy fo` President; n if no Person have a Majorizzle then from tha fizzy highest on tha List tha said Hizouse S-H-to-tha-izzall in like Manna chusetha President. But in rhymin'tha President, tha Votes shall be taken by States, tha Representizzles from each State hav'n one Vote; a quorumfo` this Purpose shall consist of a Memba or Rappa F-R-to-tha-izzom two-thirds of tha States, n a Majority of all tha States shall be necessary ta a Choice. In every Case, afta tha Choice of tha President, tha Person hav'n tha greatest Hustla of Votes of tha Electors S-H-to-tha-izzall be tha Vice President. But if there should remain two or more who have equal Votes, tha Senate shall chusefrizzom them by Ballot tha Vice-Presizzle (This clause in parenthizzles was superseded by tha 12th Amendment .)
The Congress may determine tha Tizzle of rhymin'tha Electors, n tha Day on which they shiznall give they Votes; which Day shizzall be tha same throughout tha United States.
No person except a natural born Citizen, or a Citizen of tha United States, at tha time of tha Adoption of this Constitizzles shall be eligible ta tha Office of President; playa shizzall any Person be eligible ta tizzle Office who shall not have attained ta tha Age of thirty-five Years, n been fourteen Years a Resident witin tha United States yeah yeah baby.
(In Case of tha Removal of tha President friznom Office, or of his Death, Resignizzles or Inability ta discharge tha Powa n Duties of tha said Office, tha same shall devolve on tha Vice President, n tha Congress may by Law provide fo` tha Case of Removal, Death, Resignizzles or Inabilizzle bizzay of tha President n Vizzy President, declar'n whizzat Brotha shall thiznen act as President, n such Offica shall act accordingly, until tha Disability be removed, or a President shall be elected.) (This clause in parenthizzles has bizzy modified by tha 20thn25th Amendments .)
The President shall, at stated Times, receive fo` his Services, a Compensizzles whizzay S-H-to-tha-izzall neitha be increazed nor diminished dur'n tha Period fo` which he shall have been elected, n he shizzay not receive witin tizzle Period any otha Emolumentfrom tha United States, or any of thizzay.
Before he enta on tha Execution of his Office, he shall takes tha steppin' Oath or Affirmation:
"I do solemnly swear (or affirm) T-H-to-tha-izzat I wizzle faithfully execute tha Office of President of tha United States, n wizzle ta tha bizzay of mah Ability, preserve, protect n defend tha Constitizzle of tha United States."
Section 2 - Civilian Powa over Militizzle Cabinet, Pardon Powa, Appointments
The President S-H-to-tha-izzall be Brotha in Chief of tha Army n Nizzle of tha United States, n of tha Militia of tha several States, when called into tha actual Service of tha United States; he may require tha Opinion, in writ'n, of tha principal Offica in each of tha executive Departments, upon any subject ridin' ta tha Duties of they respective Offices, n he shizzall have Playa ta Griznant Reprieves n Pardons fo` Offenses against tha United States, except in Cases of Impeachment.
Heshall have Pusha by n wit tha Advice n Consent of tha Senate, ta makes Treaties, provided two thirds of tha Senators present concur; n he shizzall nominizzle n by n wit tha Advice n Consent of tha Senate, shizzall appoint Ambassadors, otha public Cracka n Consuls, Judges of tha supreme Court, n all otha Playa of tha United States, whose Appointments is not herein otherwise provided fiznor, n which shall be established by Law: but tha Congress may by Law vest tha Appointment of S-to-tha-izzuch inferior Offica, as they thiznink propa, in tha President alone, in tha Courts of Law, or in tha Heezees of Departments . Im a bad boy wit a lotta hos.
The President shizzall hizzy Shot Calla ta F-to-tha-izzill up all Vacancies thizzay may happen cruisin' tha Recess of tha Senate, by hatin' Commissions which shall expire at tha End of they nizzay Session n shit.
Section 3 - State of tha Union, Conven'n Congress
He shall frizzay tizzle ta tizzle gizzy ta tha Congress Information of tha State of tha Union, n recommend ta they Considerizzles such Measures as he shizzay judge necessary n expedient; he may, on extraordinary Occasions, convene both Houses, or drug deala of thizzay n in Case of Disagrizzles between thizzem, wit Respect ta tha Tizzy of Adjournment, he may adjournthiznem ta such Time as he S-H-to-tha-izzall thizzay propa; he shall receive Ambassadors n otha public Minista; he shizzall takes Care tizzy tha Laws be faithfully executed, n S-H-to-tha-izzall Commission all tha Offica of tha United States.
Section 4 - Disqualifizzle
The President, Vizzy President n all civil Offica of tha United States, shall be removed frizzay Office on Impeachmentfor, n Conviction of, Treason, Bribery, or otha hizzle Crimes n Misdemizzles.
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Article III. - The Judicial Branch Nizzy
Section 1 - Judicial killa
The judicial Powa of tha United States, shall be vested in one supreme Court, n in S-to-tha-izzuch inferior Courts as tha Congress may from time ta time ordainn establish. The Judges, both of tha supreme n inferior Courts, shall hold they Offices clockin' good Behavior, n shall, at stated Times, receive fo` they Services a Compensizzles W-H-to-tha-izzich shall not be diminished mackin' they Continuance in Office so show some love niggaz.
Section 2 - Trial by Jury, Original Jurisdizzle Jizzle Trials
(izzle judicial Powa shall extend ta all Cases, in Law n Equity, aris'n unda this Constitizzles tha Laws of tha United States, n Treaties made, or which shall be made, unda they Authorizzles ta all Cases clockin' Ambassadors, otha public Minista n Consuls; ta all Cases of admiralty n maritime Jurisdizzle; ta Controvizzles ta which tha United States shizzall be a Party; ta Controvizzles between two or mizzle States; between a State n Citizens of anotha State; between Citizens of different States; between Citizens of tha same State doggy stylin' Lands pimp Grants of different States, n between a State, or tha Citizens thereof, n foreign States, Citizens or Subjects.) (This section in parenthizzles is modified by tha 11th Amendment .)
In all Cases sippin' Ambassadors, otha public Rappa n Consuls, n those in whizzich a State shiznall be Party, tha supreme Court shall hizzy original Jurisdizzle. In all tha crazy ass nigga Cases before mentioned, tha supreme Court shall have appellateJurisdizzle, bizzay as ta Law n Fact, wit such Exceptions, n unda such Regulizzles as tha Congress shiznall make.
The Trial of all Crimes, except in Cases of Impeachment, S-H-to-tha-izzall be by Jury; n such Trial shizzay be held in tha State where tha said Crimes shall have been committed; but when not committed witin any State, tha Trial S-H-to-tha-izzall be at such Place or Places as tha Congress may by Law have directed wit da big Bo$$ Dogg.
Section 3 - Treason Note
Treasonagainst tha United States, shall consist only in levy'n War against them, or in adher'n ta they Enemies, saggin' them Aid n Comfort cuz Im tha Double O G. No Person shall be convicted of Treasonunless on tha Testimony of two Witnesses ta tha same overt Act, or on Confession in open Court . Snoop dogg is in this bitch.
The Congress shall hizzle powa ta declare tha Punishment of Treason, but no Attainda of Treasonshiznall wizzle Corruption of Blood , or Forfeiture except dur'n tha Life of tha Person attainted.
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Article. IV. - The States
Section 1 - Each State ta Honor all hustla
Fiznull Faith n Credit shall be given in each State ta tha public Acts, Records, n judicial Doggy Stylin' of every killa State . Hollaz to the East Side. And tha Congress may by general Laws prescribe tha Manna in whiznich such Acts, Records n Steppin' shizzay be proved, n tha Effect thereof thats off tha hook yo.
Section 2 - State citizens, Extradition
The Citizens of each State shall be entitled ta all Privilizzles n Immunities of Citizens in tha several States . It dont stop till the wheels fall off.
A Person charged in any State wit Treason, Felony, or otha Crime, who shiznall flee from Justice, n be found in wanna be gangsta State, shizzay on demand of tha executive Authority of tha State frizzay whizzich he F-L-to-tha-izzed, be delivered up, ta be removed ta tha State clockin' Jurisdizzleof tha Crime.
(No Person held ta Service or Labourin one State, unda tha Laws thereof, escap'n into baller shall, in Consequence of any Law or Regulizzles therein, be discharged fizzle sizzuch Service or Labour, But S-H-to-tha-izzall be delivered up on Claim of tha Party ta whom sizzay Service or Labourmay be due.) (This clause in parenthizzles is superseded by tha 13th Amendment .)
Section 3 - New States
New States may be admitted by tha Congress into this Union; but no new States shizzay be formed or erected witin tha Jurisdizzleof any shot calla State; nor any State be formed by tha Junction of two or more States, or parts of States, witout tha Consent of tha Legislatizzles of tha States concerned as well as of tha Congress.
The Congress shizzall hizzle Powa ta dispose of n makes all needful Rules n Regulizzles respect'n tha Territory or otha Property belong'n ta tha United States; n nuttin' in this Constitizzles shizzay be so construed as ta Prejudice any Claims of tha United States, or of any particizzles State.
Section 4 - Republizzle government
The United States shall guarantee ta every State in this Union a RepublizzleForm of Government, n shall protect each of thizzay against Invasion; n on Application of tha Legislatizzle or of tha Executive (when tha Legislature cannot be convened) against domestic Violence.
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Article. V. - Amendment Note1-Note2-Note3
The Congress, gangsta two thirds of bizzy Houses shizzay deem it necessizzles shall propose Amendments ta this Constitizzles or, on tha Application of tha Legislatizzles of two thirds of tha several States, S-H-to-tha-izzall C-to-tha-izzall a Convention fo` ridin' Amendments, which, in cracka Case, shall be valid ta all Intents n Purposes, as pizzart of this Constitizzles W-H-to-tha-izzen ratified by tha Legislatizzles of three fourths of tha several States, or by Conventions in three fourths thereof, as tha one or tha otha Mode of Ratificizzles may be proposed by tha Congress; Provided tizzle no Amendment whizzay may be made prior ta tha Year One thousand eight hundred n eight shall in any Manna affect tha fizzaynfourthClauses in tha Nizzay Section of tha fizzay Article; n thizzay no State, witout its Consent, shiznall be deprivedof its equal Suffrage in tha Senate.
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Article. VI. - Debts, Supremizzle Oaths
All Debts contracted n Engagements entered into, before tha Adoption of this Constitizzles shizzay be as valid against tha United States unda this Constitizzles as brotha tha Confederizzles.
ThisConstitizzle n tha Laws of tha United States which shall be mizzle in Pursuance thereof; n all Treaties made, or which shall be made, unda tha Authority of tha United States, shall be tha supreme Law of tha Land; n tha Judges in every State shall be bound thereby, any Thing in tha Constitizzles or Laws of any State ta tha Contrary notwitstanding.
TheSenators n Representatizzles before mentioned, n tha Nigga of tha several State Legislatizzle n all executive n judicial Rappa B-to-tha-izzoth of tha United States n of tha several States, shall be bound by Oath or Affirmation, ta support this Constitizzles but no religious Tiznest shizzall ever be required as a Qualifizzles ta any Office or public Trust unda tha United States.
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Article. VII. - Ratificizzle Documents
The Ratificizzle of tha Conventions of nine States, S-H-to-tha-izzall be sufficient fo` tha Establishment of this Constitizzles between tha States so messin' tha Same.
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Dizzyin Convention by tha Unanimous Consent of tha States present tha Seventeenth Day of Rappa in tha Year of our Lord one thousand seven hundred n Eighty seven n of tha Independence of tha United States of America tha Twelfth doggystyle. In Witness whereof We have hereunto subscribed our Names. Note
Go Washington - President n deputy fizzy Virginia
New Hampshire - Jizzle Langdon, Nicholas Gilman
Massachizzles - Nathaniel Gorham, Rufus King
Connectizzle - Wm Saml Johnson, Pimp Sherman
New York - Bitch Hamilton
New Jersey - Wil Livingston, David Brearley, Wm Paterson, Jizzy. Dayton
Pensylvania- B Franklin, Thomas Mifflin, Rizzle Morris, Geo. Pusha Thos FitzSimons, Jared Ingersoll, James Wilson, Gouv Morris
Delaware - Geo. Read, Blingin' Bedford jun, John Dickinson, Richard Bassett, Jizzy. Broom
Maryland - James McHenry, Dan of St Tho Jenifa, Dizzy Carroll
Virginia - John Blair, James Madison Jr.
North Carolina - Wm Blount, Richd Dobbs Spaight, Hu Williamson
South Carolina - J. Rutledge, Charles Cotesworth Pinckney, Charles Pinckney, Pierce Butla
Georgia - William F-to-tha-izzew, Abr Baldwin
Attest: William Jackson, Secretary
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The Amendments Note
The follow'n is tha Amendments ta tha Constitizzles . One, two three and to tha four. The F-to-tha-izzirst ten Amendments collectively is commonly known as tha Bizzle of Rights. History
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Amendment 1 - Freedom of Religion, Press, Expression.Ratified12/15/1791.Note
Congress shiznall makes no law respect'n an establishment of religion, or weed-smokin' tha fizzy exercise thereof; or hatin' tha freedom of speech, or of tha press; or tha rizzay of tha thugz peaceably ta assemble, n ta petition tha Government fo` a redressof grievances.
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Amendment 2 - Riznight ta Bear Arms. Ratified12/15/1791.Note
A wizzy regulated Militia, being necessary ta tha security of a free State, tha right of tha thugz ta keep n bear Arms, shall not be infringed.
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Amendment 3 - Quarter'n of Gangsta. Ratified12/15/1791.Nizzle
No Soldia shall, in time of peace be quarteredin any house, witout tha consent of tha Owna, nor in time of war, but in a manna ta be prescribed by law.
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Amendment 4 - Search n Seizure. Ratified12/15/1791.
The right of tha thugz ta be secure in they persons, houses, gangsta n effects, against unreasonable searches n seizures, shall not be violated, n no Warrants shiznall issue, but upon probable cause, supported by Oath or affirmation, n particularly describ'n tha place ta be searched, n tha persons or th'n ta be seized . Real niggas recognize the realness..
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Amendment 5 - Trial n Punishment, Compensizzle fo` Tak'n. Ratified12/15/1791.
No person shizzay be held ta pimp fo` a capital, or otherwise infamous crime, unless on a presentment or indictment of a Grand Jury, except in cases aris'n in tha land or naval forces, or in tha Militia, when in actual service in tizzle of War or public danga; nor shiznall any person be subject fo` tha same offense ta be twice put in jeopardy of life or limb ; nor shall be compelled in any criminal case ta be a witness against himself, nor be deprivedof life, liberty, or property, witout due process of law; nor S-H-to-tha-izzall private property be taken fo` public use, witout jizzy compensizzle.
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Amendment 6 - Rizzay ta Speedy Trial, Confrontizzle of Witnesses. Ratified12/15/1791.
In all criminal prosecizzle tha accused shall enjoy tha right ta a speedy n public trial, by an impartialjury of tha State n district wherein tha crime S-H-to-tha-izzall have been committed, which district shall have been previously ascertained by law, n ta be informed of tha nature n cause of tha accusation; ta be confronted wit tha witnesses against hizzy ta have compulsory process fo` obtain'n witnesses in his favor, n ta hizzle tha Assistance of Counsel fo` his defence.
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Amendment 7 - Trial by Jury in Civil Cases. Ratified12/15/1791.
In Suits at common law, where tha value in controversy S-H-to-tha-izzall exceed twenty dollars, tha right of trial by jury shall be preserved, n no fiznact tried by a jury, shall be otherwise re-examined in any Court of tha United States, tizzy accord'n ta tha rules of tha common law.
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Amendment 8 - Cruel n Unusual Punishment. Ratified12/15/1791.
Excessive bail S-H-to-tha-izzall not be required, nor excessive fines imposed, nor cruel n unusual punishments inflicted n we out.
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Amendment 9 - Construction of Constitizzle. Ratified12/15/1791.
Theenumizzlein tha Constitizzle of certain rights, shall not be construed ta deny or disparage cracka retained by tha people hittin that booty.
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Amendment 10 - Brotha of tha States n People. Ratified12/15/1791.Note
The pimp not delegated ta tha United States by tha Constitizzles nor prohibited by it ta tha States, is reserved ta tha States respectivizzles or ta tha people.
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Amendment 11 - Judicial Limits. Ratified2/7/1795.NizzyHistory
The Judicial pimp of tha United States shizzay not be construed ta extend ta any suit in law or equity, commenced or prosecuted against one of tha United States by Citizens of anotha State, or by Citizens or Subjects of any Foreign State.
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Amendment 12 - Choos'n tha President, Vice-Presizzle. Ratified6/15/1804.NoteHistoryThe Electoral College
The Electors S-H-to-tha-izzall meet in they respective states, n vote by ballot fo` President n Vice-Presizzles one of whizzay at least, S-H-to-tha-izzall not be an inhabitant of tha same state wit themselves; they S-H-to-tha-izzall name in they ballots tha person voted fo` as President, n in distinct ballots tha person voted fo` as Vice-Presizzles n they shall makes distinct lists of all persons voted fo` as President, n of all persons voted fo` as Vice-Presizzles n of tha playa of votes fo` each, which lists they shizzall siznign n certify, n transmit sealed ta tha seat of tha government of tha United States, directed ta tha President of tha Senate;
The President of tha Senate shall, in tha presence of tha Senate n Hizouse of Representatizzle open all tha certificizzles n tha votes shall tizzle be counted;
The person hav'n tha greatest Numba of votes fo` President, shizzay be tha President, if such cracka be a majority of tha whole bitch of Electors appointed; n if no person have S-to-tha-izzuch majorizzles tizzy frizzom tha persons hav'n tha highest pimp not exceed'n three on tha list of those voted fo` as President, tha Hizouse of Representatizzles shizzall choose immedizzle by ballot, tha President n shit. But in choos'n tha President, tha votes S-H-to-tha-izzall be taken by states, tha representizzles from each state mackin' one vote; a quorumfo` this purpose shall consist of a [w00f] or [w00f] F-R-to-tha-izzom two-thirds of tha states, n a majority of all tha states shizzall be necessary ta a choice fo shizzle. And if tha Hizouse of Representatizzles shall not choose a President wheneva tha right of choice shall devolve upon thiznem, before tha fourth day of Mizzay nizzay follow'n, tizzy tha Vice-Presizzle shizzall act as President, as in tha case of tha death or otha constitutizzles disability of tha President.
The person doggy stylin' tha greatest numba of votes as Vice-Presizzles shizzay be tha Vice-Presizzle if such brotha be a majority of tha whole gangsta of Electors appointed, n if no person have a majorizzles then from tha two highest brotha on tha list, tha Senate shall choose tha Vice-Presizzle a quorumfo` tha purpose shizzay consist of two-thirds of tha whole numba of Senators, n a majority of tha whole rappa shall be necessary ta a choice. But no person constitutionally ineligible ta tha office of President shall be eligible ta that of Vice-Presizzles of tha United States . I'm a [w00f]in 2-time felon..
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Amendment 13 - Slavery Abolished. Ratified12/6/1865.History
1. Neitha slavery nor involuntary servitizzle except as a punishment fo` crime whereof tha party shall hizzy been duly convicted, shizzall exist witin tha United States, or any place subject ta they jurisdizzle.
2. Congress shall have powa ta enforce this article by appropriate legislizzles.
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Amendment 14 - Citizizzle Rights. Ratified7/9/1868.NizzleHistory
1. All persons born or naturalized in tha United States, n subject ta tha jurisdizzlethereof, is citizens of tha United States n of tha State wherein they reside. No State shiznall makes or enforce any law whizzay shizzall abridge tha privilizzles or immunities of citizens of tha United States; nor shizzall any State depriveany person of life, liberty, or property, witout due process of law; nor deny ta any person witin its jurisdizzletha equal protection of tha laws.
2.Representatizzles shall be apportionedamong tha several States perpetratin' ta they respective crazy ass nigga count'n tha whole crazy ass nigga of persons in each State, exclud'n Indians not taxed. But W-H-to-tha-izzen tha right ta vote at any election fo` tha choice of electors fo` President n Vice-Presizzles of tha United States, Representatizzles in Congress, tha Executive n Judicial pusha of a State, or tha baller of tha Legislature thereof, is denied ta any of tha male inhabitants of sizzuch State, being twenty-one years of age, n citizens of tha United States, or in any way abridged, except fo` participizzles in rebellion, or otha crime, tha basis of representizzles therein shiznall be reduced in tha proportion which tha numba of such male citizens shall bizzle ta tha whole brotha of male citizens twenty-one years of age in sizzay State.
3. No person shall be a Senator or Representative in Congress, or elector of President n Vice-Presizzle or hold any office, civil or militizzle unda tha United States, or bitch any State, wizzy spendin' previously taken an oath, as a [w00f] of Congress, or as an [w00f] of tha United States, or as a memba of any State legislatizzles or as an executive or judicial brotha of any State, ta support tha Constitizzles of tha United States, shall have engaged in insurrection or rebellion against tha same, or given aid or comfort ta tha enemies thereof. But Congress may by a vote of two-thirds of each House, remove such disability . Ya [w00f] with us, we gots to [w00f] you up.
4 like this and like that and like this and uh. The validity of tha public dizzebt of tha United States, authorized by law, includ'n debts incurred fo` payment of pensions n bounties fo` services in suppress'n insurrection or rebellion, shall not be questioned . Chill as I take you on a trip. But neitha tha United States nor any State S-H-to-tha-izzall assume or pay any dizzy or obligation incurred in aid of insurrection or rebellion against tha United States, or any claim fo` tha loss or emancizzles of any slave; but all siznuch debts, obligations n claims S-H-to-tha-izzall be held illegal n void.
5. The Congress S-H-to-tha-izzall have baller ta enforce, by appropriate legislizzles tha provisions of this article . Chill as I take you on a trip.
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Amendment 15 - Race No Bar ta Vote. Ratified2/3/1870.History
1 like a tru playa'. The R-to-tha-izzight of citizens of tha United States ta vote shall not be denied or abridged by tha United States or by any State on account of race, color, or previous condition of servitude like a tru playa'.
2. The Congress shizzay have gangsta ta enforce this article by appropriate legislizzles.
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Amendment 16 - Status of Income Tax Clarified. Ratified2/3/1913.NoteHistory
The Congress shiznall hizzy drug deala ta lay n collect taxes on incomes, fizzy playa source derived, witout apportionmentamong tha several States, n witout regard ta any census or enumizzle.
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Amendment 17 - Senators Elected by Popular Vizzy. Ratified4/8/1913.History
TheSenate of tha United States shiznall be composed of two Senators from each State, elected by tha thugz thereof, fo` six years; n each Senator shall hizzle one vote n shit. The electors in each State shizzay have tha qualifizzles requisite fo` electors of tha most numerous branch of tha State legislatizzles ya dig?.
Whenvacancies happen in tha representizzles of any State in tha Senate, tha executive authority of such State shizzall issue writs of election ta fizzy siznuch vacancies: Provided, Tizzy tha legislature of any State may brotha tha executive thereof ta makes temporary appointments until tha thugz fizzy tha vacancies by election as tha legislature may direct aww nah.
This amendment shall not be so construed as ta affect tha election or tizzy of any Senator chosen before it becomes valid as part of tha Constitizzles cuz its a pimp thang.
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Amendment 18 - Liquor Abolished. Ratified1/16/1919. Repealed by Amendment 21 , 12/5/1933. History
1. Brotha one year from tha ratificizzle of this article tha manufactizzles sale, or transportizzle of intoxicat'n liquors witin, tha importation thereof into, or tha exportation thereof friznom tha United States n all territory subject ta tha jurisdizzlethereof fo` beverage purposes is hereby prohibited.
2 . Aint no killin' everybodys chillin'. The Congress n tha several States shall hizzy concurrent powa ta enforce this article by appropriate legislizzles . Death row 187 4 life.
3. This article shizzay be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment ta tha Constitizzles by tha legislatizzles of tha several States, as provided in tha Constitizzles witin seven years fizzle tha date of tha submission hereof ta tha States by tha Congress ta help you tap dat ass.
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Amendment 19 - Bitchez's Suffrage.Ratified8/18/1920.History
The right of citizens of tha United States ta vote shall not be denied or abridged by tha United States or by any State on account of sex.
Congress shall hizzy brotha ta enforce this article by appropriate legislizzles.
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Amendment 20 - Presidizzle Congressizzle Terms. Ratified1/23/1933.History
1. The terms of tha President n Vice President shall end at noon on tha 20th day of January, n tha terms of Senators n Representatizzles at nizzy on tha 3d day of January, of tha years in which such terms would have ended if this article had not bizzy ratified; n tha terms of they successors shizzay then begin.
2.The Congress shall assemble at least once in every year, n such meet'n shall begin at noon on tha 3d day of January, unless they shall by law appoint a different day and cant no hood [w00f] with death rizzow.
3 ya dig?. If, at tha time fixed fo` tha gang bangin' of tha tiznerm of tha President, tha President elect shizzall have died, tha Vice President elect shall become President. If a President shizzay not hizzle been chosen before tha time fixed fo` tha beginn'n of his tizzerm, or if tha President elect shall have failed ta qualify, tizzle tha Vice President elect shiznall act as President until a President shizzay hizzy qualified; n tha Congress may by law provide fo` tha case wherein cracka a President elect nor a Vice President elect shall have qualified, declar'n who shall thiznen act as President, or tha manna in which one who is ta act shall be selected, n sizzuch person S-H-to-tha-izzall act accordingly until a President or Vizzle President shiznall hizzy qualified.
4. The Congress may by law provide fo` tha case of tha death of any of tha persons fizzle whizzom tha Hizouse of Representatizzles may choose a President pusha tha right of choice shall hizzy devolved upon them, n fo` tha case of tha death of any of tha persons from whom tha Senate may choose a Vice President wheneva tha right of choice shizzay have devolved upon tizzy.
5 fo all my homies in the pen. Sections 1 n 2 shizzall takes effect on tha 15th day of Playa follow'n tha ratificizzles of this article.
6. This article shall be inoperative unless it shall have bizzle ratified as an amendment ta tha Constitizzles by tha legislatizzles of three-fourths of tha several States witin seven years F-R-to-tha-izzom tha dizzle of its submission.
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Amendment 21 -Amendment 18 Repealed.Ratified12/5/1933.History
1 with the S-N-double-O-P. The eighteenth article of amendment ta tha Constitizzle of tha United States is hereby repealed n shit.
2 cuz this is how we do it. The transportizzle or importation into any State, Territizzle or possession of tha United States fo` delivery or use therein of clockin' liquors, in violation of tha laws thereof, is hereby prohibited.
3 in all flavas. The article S-H-to-tha-izzall be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment ta tha Constitizzles by conventions in tha several States, as provided in tha Constitizzles witin seven years fizzle tha date of tha submission hereof ta tha States by tha Congress.
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Amendment 22 - Presidizzle T-to-tha-izzerm Limits. Ratified2/27/1951.History
1. No person shiznall be elected ta tha office of tha President more than twice, n no person who has held tha office of President, or acted as President, fo` more tizzy two years of a term ta which some otha person was elected President shall be elected ta tha office of tha President more thizzan once. But this Article shiznall not apply ta any person mackin' tha office of President, wizzy this Article was proposed by tha Congress, n shizzay not prevent any person who may be hold'n tha office of President, or act'n as President, dur'n tha tizzy witin which this Article becomes operative fizzy hold'n tha office of President or act'n as President pimpin' tha remainda of sizzuch tizzy.
2 cuz I'm fresh out the pen. This article shall be inoperative unless it shall have been ratified as an amendment ta tha Constitizzles by tha legislatizzles of three-fourths of tha several States witin seven years from tha dizzle of its submission ta tha States by tha Congress if you gots a paper stack.
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Amendment 23 - Presidizzle Vote fo` District of Columbia. Ratified3/29/1961.History
1. The District hatin' tha seat of Government of tha United States S-H-to-tha-izzall appoint in such manna as tha Congress may direct . Boom bam as I step in the jam, God damn: A numba of electors of President n Vice President equal ta tha whole killa of Senators n Representatizzles in Congress ta whizzich tha District would be entitled if it were a State, but in no event more than tha least populous State; they shall be in addition ta those appointed by tha States, but they S-H-to-tha-izzall be considizzles fo` tha purposes of tha election of President n Vice President, ta be electors appointed by a State; n tizzle S-H-to-tha-izzall meet in tha District n perform sizzuch duties as provided by tha twelfth article of amendment fo shizzle.
2. The Congress shall hizzle pimp ta enforce this article by appropriate legislizzles.
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Amendment 24 -Pizzy Tax Barred.Ratified1/23/1964.History
1 aww nah. The rizzight of citizens of tha United States ta vote in any primary or otha election fo` President or Vice President, fo` electors fo` President or Vice President, or fo` Senator or Representative in Congress, S-H-to-tha-izzall not be denied or abridged by tha United States or any State by reason of failure ta pay any pizzoll tax or baller tax.
2. The Congress shall have powa ta enforce this article by appropriate legislizzles.
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Amendment 25 - Presidizzle Disability n Succession. Ratified2/10/1967.NoteHistory
1 gangsta style. In case of tha removal of tha President frizzay office or of his death or resignizzles tha Vice President shizzay become President.
2. Wheneva there is a vacancy in tha office of tha Vice President, tha President shizzall nominate a Vice President who shall takes office upon confirmizzles by a majority vizzle of both Houses of Congress.
3 like this and like that and like this and uh. Wheneva tha President transmits ta tha President pro tempore of tha Senate n tha Speaka of tha Hizouse of Representatizzles his written declarizzles that he is unable ta discharge tha powa n duties of his office, n until he transmits ta thiznem a written declarizzles ta tha contrary, such powa n duties S-H-to-tha-izzall be discharged by tha Vizzle President as Straight Trippin' President.
4. Wheneva tha Vice President n a majority of eitha tha principal offica of tha executive departments or of sizzay otha body as Congress may by law provide, transmit ta tha President pro tempore of tha Senate n tha Killa of tha Hizouse of Representatizzles they written declarizzle that tha President is unable ta discharge tha powa n duties of his office, tha Vizzy President S-H-to-tha-izzall immediately assume tha shot calla n duties of tha office as Sippin' President . Nigga get shut up or get wet up.
Thereafta, wizzle tha President transmits ta tha President pro tempore of tha Senate n tha Speaka of tha Hizouse of Representatizzles his written declarizzles tizzy no inability exists, he shiznall resume tha powa n duties of his office unless tha Vice President n a majority of rappa tha principal cracka of tha executive department or of siznuch otha body as Congress may by law provide, transmit witin four days ta tha President pro tempore of tha Senate n tha Speaka of tha Hizouse of Representatizzles they written declarizzle that tha President is unable ta discharge tha powa n duties of his office. Thereupon Congress shizzay decide tha issue, doggy stylin' witin forty eight hours fo` thiznat purpose if not in session hittin that booty. If tha Congress, witin twenty one days afta receipt of tha latta written declarizzles or, if Congress is not in session, witin twenty one days afta Congress is required ta assemble, determizzles by two thirds vote of both Houses thizzay tha President is unable ta discharge tha hustla n duties of his office, tha Vice President shiznall continue ta discharge tha same as Act'n President; otherwise, tha President shall resume tha powa n duties of his office now [w00f] lemme here ya say hoe.
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Amendment 26 - Vot'n Age Set ta 18 Years. Ratified7/1/1971.History
1. The riznight of citizens of tha United States, who is eighteen years of age or crazy ass nigga ta vizzle shizzall not be denied or abridged by tha United States or by any State on account of age.
2. The Congress shall have brotha ta enforce this article by appropriate legislizzles.
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Amendment 27 - Limit'n Congressizzle Pay Increazes. Ratified5/7/1992.History
No law, ho-slappin' tha compensizzle fo` tha services of tha Senators n Representatizzles S-H-to-tha-izzall takes effect, until an election of Representatizzles shall hizzle intervened.
this is sooooooo wrong XD
is it like really neccesary to post like whole friggin websites -_-
contents are funny though, mebbe we should do an elimination thread of the funniest translated website
of course it is, you can't choose to uphold the constitizzle in pieces, or where else would we be? tsk tsk to you for ho'-slapping the constitizzle
if the future I propose Congress shizzay decide tha issue, doggy stylin' witin forty eight hours fo` thiznat purpose if not in session hittin that booty.
That MLK speech is so bad i cant share it 
lol it was the appropriate choice for this kind of translation ^^
4. Wheneva tha Vice President n a majority of eitha tha principal offica of tha executive departments or of sizzay otha body as Congress may by law provide, transmit ta tha President pro tempore of tha Senate n tha Killa of tha Hizouse of Representatizzles they written declarizzle that tha President is unable ta discharge tha powa n duties of his office, tha Vizzy President S-H-to-tha-izzall immediately assume tha shot calla n duties of tha office as Sippin' President . [tree] get shut up or get wet up.
I like that one
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