• Soth
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Topic: whats your zombie plan?

Everyone has thought about the eminent day of the rising dead.  What will you do when that day comes?

I have actually given a fair amount thought as to what would be the best mode of survival in the event of a zombie outbreak and i determined that the type of zombie infestation would be the leading factor in deciding what to do.  if the zombie outbreak was local and therefore containable i would rely on the authorities and perhaps a 12 gauge if necissary. 

however, in the case of a full blow pandemic with widespread zombie infestation then i probably wont be able to depend on the authorities.  If the authorities are falling apart then the best bet would be to sit out the infestation and wait for the zombies to starve or decay in whatever way that particular infestation would.  I would have to gather my family and closest friends. NO STRANGERS! the strangers are the ones who would cause the most trouble with stupid ideas and altogether going crazyness so they are best shunned.  Now this is assuming the infestation did not happen over night with no warning, there was probably some widespread disease that mutated into a zombie like infestation.  this would give us time to find our barricade(preferably in the deep country) and horde food.  survival in an urban environment during a widespread zombie infestation would be slim to none when taking into consideration the vast amounts of hungry zombies running around trying to kill you.

what would you do?!?!??!?!?

In matters of style, swim with the current;
In matters of principle, stand like a rock.
                                          Thomas Jefferson

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Re: whats your zombie plan?

you are soooo gay

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PObMCSLyIGk&NR=1

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  • Skoe
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Re: whats your zombie plan?

Round up the local girls aged 16-24 who aren't related to me, and retreat to my secret bunker big_smile.
Or i'd sit inside and play a local server of counter strike.

Given my track record, probably the latter...

Morbo: Morbo can't understand his teleprompter. He forgot how you say that letter that looks like a man with a hat.
Linda: It's a 't'. It goes "tuh".
Morbo: Hello, little man. I will destroy you!!
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cpP7b2lUxVE

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Re: whats your zombie plan?

I have a thought out plan and I will make a post about it as soon as i'm in school

Not many people know this, but I own the first radio in Springfield. Not much on the air then, just Edison reciting the alphabet over and over. "A" he'd say; then "B." "C" would usually follow...

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Re: whats your zombie plan?

i think i'd probably stumble around with my arms out eating brains

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  • arms
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Re: whats your zombie plan?

X(

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Re: whats your zombie plan?

what da hell is this x(!

i love you all!

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Re: whats your zombie plan?

You and your friends never figured out what to do if zombies attack?

1. Get to joe's house along with all my pals
2. Help joe tote some of his 15 rifles, 6 shotguns and 20 handguns and dozens of thousands of rounds up Box Springs Mtn
3 burn off brush on a peak of the mtn and set up camp
4 set up a perimeter 250 yds out with torches
5 shoot every living thing that crosses the torches, any zombies or suspected zombies in sight, any interesting animals, nosy humans, low flying aircraft, UFOs, US Presidents (clearly some sorta trap) nuns (also gotta be a trap) etc.
6 sneak down when things die down and work on converting a pickup into an armored car with a firing platform

The core joke of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that of course no civilization would develop personal computers with instant remote database recovery, and then waste this technology to find good drinks.
Steve Jobs has ruined this joke.

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Re: whats your zombie plan?

zombies are already dead, you cant wait for them to die....

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Re: whats your zombie plan?

I would equip my samurai armor and katana...

And remember kids, being selfish is a virtue.

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Re: whats your zombie plan?

> avogadro wrote:

> zombies are already dead, you cant wait for them to die....

they are undead

A balanced diet is a cookie in each hand

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Re: whats your zombie plan?

Same as usual then Seriph?

tweehonderd graden, dat is waarom ze me mr. fahrenheit noemen, ik reis aan de snelheid van het licht, ik ga een supersonische man van u maken

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Re: whats your zombie plan?

Considering you need a ladder to get to mine, I believe the attic plan would probably work out best:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zFLtUxncZcU

Pixies My pokemon brings all the nerds to the yard, and they're like you wanna trade cards?

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Re: whats your zombie plan?

unless zombies gained intelligence then i agree with Pixies

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  • Soth
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Re: whats your zombie plan?

> avogadro wrote:

> zombies are already dead, you cant wait for them to die....
___________________________________________________

in any feasible zombie infestation the zobies would be bound by the laws of nature meaning there body will not function without some sort of nurishment (commonly human flesh)  soooo it would be possible to wait out a zombie infestation once the more unresourceful survivors were flushed out. then the zombies would begin to starve.   however if they can eat eachother then that means only the biggest and strongest zombies would survive giving a new facet to the already immense ruby of zombie plans big_smile

In matters of style, swim with the current;
In matters of principle, stand like a rock.
                                          Thomas Jefferson

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Re: whats your zombie plan?

First thing i would do is find my daughter. Cuz my ex wife and her husband are retarded and they couldnt defend themselves let alone my kid.
Second....i would find my friends and brother and get us some guns. Then you have to take over a Home Depot, Lowes or a Menards type of store. One of those stores has all the building materials youu need to build a small fortress against the zombies.

After that its a matter of defending your Home Depot against zombies and getting other survivors to help.

The path of the righteous man is beset on all sides by the inequities of the selfish and the tyranny of evil men. Blessed is he, who in the name of charity and good will, shepherds the weak through the valley of darkness, for he is truly his brother's keeper and the finder of lost children. And I will strike down upon thee with great vengeance and furious anger those who would attempt to poison and destroy my brothers. And you will know my name is the Lord when I lay my vengeance upon thee!!

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17 Reply by The Yell (edited by The Yell 18-Dec-2008 21:27:25)

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Re: whats your zombie plan?

actually I meant once the bulk of humanity got eaten or zombified then they'd move away from our town

my friends and I have discussed the need for a real American zombie movie

First 10 mins:  ZOMG zombies!
next 20 mins: the cast implements their prepared zombie plan and shoots the hell out of all zombies in sight
next half hour: they get bored waiting for zombies, form a  posse of survivors and go a huntin zombies
CHIEF: do you solemnly swear to uphold the Constitution of the United States of America, the Constitution of the State of California, the Geneva Conventions, the boy scout law, and all the laws pertaining thereto?
ALL: F*** NO!
CHIEF: Let's roll!
<Bob cranks hand siren>

after a half hour of car stunts and firefights they roll onto Edwards Air force base (where they land the space shuttle)
Blackhawk pilot: Yall hunting zombies?
CHIEf: Yep!
Blackhawk Pilot: Pile in! ya can shoot out the doors!
<Bob cranks hand siren>

they chase down frantically fleeing zombies from the air
Chief: they hiding under that overpass!
Pilot: yah, fire a tv-guided missle at em
Chief: roger that!

and get word the USA is gonna drop a nuke
Chief: hey they got their hands up! They surrendering!!
Pilot: we gotta keep em penned up near ground zero! arm the hellfires!
Chief: wooooohaaaaa
<bob cranks hand siren>

bill gets a phone call
Bill: It's my baby! she in trouble
Chief: Bill she cheated on you two years ago, forget her
Bill: No, she always loved me, we gotta save her
Chief: here boy
Bill: aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa
Chief: SAVE YERSELF

movie ends with a nuke going off on the horizon as the men enjoy cold beer and hot barbecue

The core joke of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that of course no civilization would develop personal computers with instant remote database recovery, and then waste this technology to find good drinks.
Steve Jobs has ruined this joke.

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Re: whats your zombie plan?

That's brilliant Yell.


My zombie plan invloves filling a boat up with a couple of months word of food (of which i have a list as to not get scurvey), and then...

I set sail for an oil rig and wait it out there.

Because zombies cant get on there. They could get there by walking there on the bottom of the ocean or swimming or floating or whatever, but once i pull up the ladder, they can't climb up because the pillars are too slimy and slippery!

&#9745;&#65279; Saddam Hussein &#9745; Osama Bin Laden &#9744; Justin Bieber

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Re: whats your zombie plan?

But zombie birds will still be able to get to you zoz!

My plan would be sitting in some sort of bombshelter with a couple months worth of food and booze.

Also there is a ventilation system to get air from outside, but if zombie birds or regular zombies would block it, i can shut it down and use oxygen tanks which i also have enough of.

So i would wait untill the zombies are all starved or killed!

What do I have to work with?

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Re: whats your zombie plan?

Not if I drape an iron web around the oil rig!

But how will you be able to get your shit out? I mean real feces. You can't store your shit for month on end... big_smile

&#9745;&#65279; Saddam Hussein &#9745; Osama Bin Laden &#9744; Justin Bieber

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Re: whats your zombie plan?

i use a toilet with a meatshredder in the pipes in case zombie rats try to climb up in it

What do I have to work with?

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Re: whats your zombie plan?

heb hem wel eens boos gezien vroeger toen de 14 was. toen heeft tie bijna een h

fear me, for i will stand next to your bed tonight and will kick your ass to kingdome come

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Re: whats your zombie plan?

But if society breaks down the waterpipes wont function anymore TU!

And you'll be sitting on enormeous piles of shit.

Good call with the meathshredder though, I'd have commented on that if you hadnt foreseen it. tongue

&#9745;&#65279; Saddam Hussein &#9745; Osama Bin Laden &#9744; Justin Bieber

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Re: whats your zombie plan?

ill bomb and set the whole city on fire. sacrifice the whole city to save the wjole city yikes !

i love you all!

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Re: whats your zombie plan?

urban dead

"So, it's defeat for you, is it? Someday I must meet a similar fate..."

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