SUBJECT: Special High Intensity Training

In order to assure the highest levels of quality work and productivity from
employees, it will be our policy to keep all employees well trained through
the program of SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (S.H.I.T.). We are trying to
give employees more S.H.I.T. than anyone else.

If you feel that you do not receive your fair share of S.H.I.T. on the job,
please see your manager. You will be immediately placed at the top of the
S.H.I.T. list, and our managers are especially skilled at seeing that you get
all of the S.H.I.T. you can handle.

Employees that do not take their S.H.I.T. will be placed in DEPARTMENTAL
EMPLOYEE EVALUATION PROGRAMS (D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T.). Those who fail to take
D.E.E.P. S.H.I.T. seriously will have to attend EMPLOYEE ATTITUDE TRAINING
(E.A.T. S.H.I.T.). Since our managers took S.H.I.T. before they were promoted,
they do not have to do S.H.I.T. anymore, and are full of S.H.I.T. already.

If you are already full of S.H.I.T. you might be interested in a job training
others. We can add your name to our list BASIC UNDERSTANDING LECTURE LIST
(B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T.). Those full of B.U.L.L. S.H.I.T. will get the S.H.I.T.
jobs and can apply for a promotion to DIRECTOR OF INTENSITY PROGRAMMING
(D.I.P. S.H.I.T.)

If you have any further questions please direct them to our HEAD OF TRAINING,
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING (H.O.T. S.H.I.T.)

Thank you
BOSS IN GENERAL
SPECIAL HIGH INTENSITY TRAINING
(B.I.G. S.H.I.T.)