*points at Full Metal Jacket*

hmmm...

well the silliest thing I can think off is to have to make a rope bridge to cross a river at a horrible location... namely in a very nasty place of the river while 200 meters ahead there is a solid stone bridge you can cross

the people (in two's) sent to cross the river with the rope got swept away about halfway due to a nasty undercurrent in the river, needless to say they sent the geeks first so the tougher guys were like "*roll eyes* let me do it" and after two (at this point a Dutch tourist walked up to us and said "ummmm guys you do know there is a solid stone bridge 200 meters from here right?!" and there had been a couple of kids trying to steal our rope), three more runs of two and one guy twisting his ankle after stumbling on an underwater stone it was pretty evident to me that it wasn't going to happen. For some reason I never comprehended it's easy to forget reality when you're in charge so finally there are two guys who make it to the other bank of the river by letting themselves go with the flow a while until it softens up. They then walk back to the place across from us and tie the rope on a tree.

At this point everyone is like yay we made it and the uberprimo decides to be magnanimous by testing the rope out first. A couple of meters along the rope it turns out it has become so wet it is completely unusable for people with any sort of weight to get across without slipping (as shown by uberprimo slipping and falling - much to my rejoicement), let alone people with a rucksack on their backs.

Needless to say we ended the exercise by crossing that solid stone bridge 200 meters from our position.

Morale of the story: if you ever want unmotivated people who hate you and are untrained for the job at hand to cross a rope bridge you don't just pick a random spot just because it looks challenging.

Real military experience works as well however, and there are a number of Veterans, myself included.

This is based on a real life event, but twisted a little for your purposes:

~~~~~~~~~~~~~ story, fictional ~~~~~~~~~~~

So they finally released me from the hospital, now they have sent me to the training camps again. I cant join my buddies, they graduated into service six months ago...

"Private Einstein report" yells a drill sergeant as he enters the building.

As I jump to parade rest I shout "Private Harrington here Drill Sergeant!"

The drill sergeant walks up to me, his combat uniform immaculate, and well fitting. "Son you cant join a new unit, you have to much training, and you cant join just any unit, your a temporal soldier according to your training jacket. We have only one unit training for temporal duties, and you are now a part of it. Bad luck for you, they changed the training schedule so you will have some of the training done already, but be missing some of it. You will have to make do however. Here are your papers, follow me"

"Yes Drill Sergeant"

As he takes me to the hover transport he has parked outside, I wonder what I missed, and if I can make it up quickly enough. I wonder also how the soldiers will react to a new guy in the ranks. We pull up to the building housing the barracks, the training simulators, and other important aspects of the temporal soldiering, the unit reads '3-502nd Temporal Infantry, Company E'.

"Report to the duty NCO" says the drill sergeant, then he pulls away after I get out. I walk in and see a corporal inside.

"You the injured guy returning to training?" and I come to parade rest and report "Private Einstein reporting for training". He asks to see my papers. I have 5 copies, and he takes a copy. Good old fashioned paper orders... some things will never change.

"Very well follow me.

My next few days are part of returning to duty. Resizing for the temporal chamber, new uniforms, new equipment, and the likes. Sadly the new guys have taken to act as if I am an intruder to their cadre and so I am getting a cold shoulder. Each day the Drill Sergeant comes back saying they misplaced my orders and to give them another copy. I am down to my last one...

"Private Einstein I need that copy of your orders. I swear we wont lose this one, and I will return with a copy" says a suddenly arrived Drill Sergeant.... oh damn...

"Yes Drill Sergeant" and I give the only orders, the only proof of my being allowed to be a part of the temporal soldiers away, leaving me merely the uniform identification chit every soldier has.

12 hours later
"Son your papers are missing, no worries, we will get some more for you soon enough"

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Truth section
I was in training under the split op program with the Army National Guard. Between your senior and junior years in high school you attended "basic training" which all soldiers get. After graduating you would get your "AIT" or Advanced Individual Training. I returned and was the only split op of 2,000 soldiers to be an 11C, aka Mortars. I sat in the welcome center for 2 weeks waiting for a unit I could join.

That unit was also getting a sergeant who was changing MOS's... I joined and was instantly disliked because I had already been on 3 live fires with mortars, and pretty much knew my job already. The drill sergeants did indeed keep losing my paperwork, and even messed up copying it. To this day I have no clue how my paperwork kept disappearing.

Other funny things:

My sight post on my weapon was bent, but no one, myself included, realized it, and I had spent 30 minutes and 200 rounds trying to adjust my sites to work with me. The drill sergeant thought I was a poor shooter. It was not until he sent me to 'qualify if you can' that we found the site post was bent. We got that fixed by the onesite armorer and I instantly sighted in, and qualified expert.

During our summer training we were put on alert for a Hurricane to come up by our base, but predictions said it would most likely miss us mostly and just move on. During our time out in the open it started snowing... the weather the day before had been 100 degrees with a humidity factor through the roof... in middle of summer it snowed in Georgia due to a hurricane messing up the weather.

The drill sergeants disliked how I affected unit morale, so they assigned me to a fire team with the two worst people in the platoon. Everyone thought in the unit I  and one other, a fat guy in the team next to me, would fail our gunnery. All teams were allowed a 'pre-test' for familiarization and anyone who got a perfect score would be 'instantly qualified'. Me and the fat guy both were the only perfect scores...

During the last weeks of training we went into the field. The fat guy got strep throat and was sent to the hospital just prior to the field training. The acting platoon leader (A private in training like myself, who was acting for training purposes) made the fat guy my battle buddy, gave us a horrible corner position with everyone else being part of a circle, and I found myself in the open, on hard ground and needing to dig two fox holes.

I dug the foxholes for the appropriate depth, went out into my firing zone, stripped a few dozen bushes of their branches of greenery, and then positioned it around my fox hole.

Our drill sergeant then hurt himself while showing off trip wire devices. He was showing us how to remove the wire, how to place, and the effects of different ones when the 'bang noise' trip warning device went off in his hand. He was severely burned and went to the hospital. A ensign was assigned to watch over us (He was undergoing officer training, and was not an officer yet) and the drill sergeant returned for the last day we were out there in the field.

He ran around the circle the acting platoon leader had so carefully made, with 2 branches, each having CS gas cans attached and spraying for all the could. My position (My battle buddy having returned the night before) was so far out of line that we were not affected, and our camo so successful we were not seen... we sat there laughing as everyone else got woken up the hard way with CS gas.

Socialists don't share with the selfish

Some easy stuff Theo.  Quick Reads.

As you first pull into the Basic training grounds, the Drill Sgt. gets on the bus and shouts, " You have 30 Seconds to dismount my bus, and the clock started 10 Seconds ago.  If you are not off in the remaining 15 seconds, your asses are mine."

Of course, acting as "individuals" we all rush to the only door.

After a 2-3 weeks, we work as teams.  Every day as we return from each training range/area, the same BS line is given.

This one day, we are prepared.  We have a plan.  As he turns to walk off, Equipment and bodies start flying out the windows, and we open the emergency door in the rear for the first time.  Bodies and equipment are off that bus in under 10 seconds.  We are scattered about, but all equip and people are off the bus in under 15 sec.

We win.  We get our first 30 min. trip to the PX.  This is like the deli/Candy store for our first load of items loaded w/sugar or salt. 

The lesson taught is two fold.  One....Team work.  Two, get off the bus anyway and in any amount of disorder possible.  The only task was to be off the bus.