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Imperial Forum → Roleplay → battle arena grocery store
![[RPA]chaosdarkmech](https://imperialconflict.com/forum/img/avatars/2515.jpg)
yes i will bring new life to it.
you can hurt anyone posting in this with anything that you can findin your average store.
so lets kick of
slaps thefirst one to post after me with a salmon
great, now i smell like salmon X(
/me throws a shopping cart at RPA
Mixes eggs and Mayonaisse in a shopping bag.......
*chugs it @ Dunecat*
/me runs to the kitchen appliance aisle and grabs knives
who wants some? 
Matt looks around the store. He sees everything imaginable - surely the shelves must be magical, as they provide a never-ending supply of all imaginable utensils, foodstuffs, and beverages.
He glances to the "back" of the infinite grocery store and sees the fish section. An idea comes to him. He reaches the fish section of the store in three steps. He reaches into the lobster tank and pulls out a gigantic, now-agitated Maine lobster.
He turns around and spots the one known as Pirate. He hurls the lobster at Pirate, then ducks down, vanishing in the maze of grocery shelves.
/throws items randomly into a shopping cart
/hurls a 500kg cart at Salamandastron
JAZYUS CHRIST, HALP MUH LAW'D
/me dodges cart, drops knives
/me pokes TheYell in the eyes
/grabs wodka from the liquer section
muhahahaa wha wants a cocktail
/makesmolotov cocktail and throws it at dunecat
/rolls under table of avocados, blinded by tears
/throws peaches at bottles behind chaosdarkmech, soaking him in pure grain alcohol
/catches flame
aaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaagh i"m burning
/runs to the fridges
/me throws cans of tomato sauce at Yell, collapsing the table of avocados
Dunecat shoves a bunch of ground beef down Salamandastron's throat, then proceeds to disappear in the maze of shelves..
Only to bump into Matthias a moment later.
Startled, Dunecat backs up into a shelf, and knocks it over.
Dunecat manages to escape almost unharmed, as Matthias is puzzled as to what just happened.
Meanwhile, the shelf lands on chaosdarkmech's leg, pinning him down and leaving him wide open for anyone else to do as they please...
/comes to with his hips pinned under a table of avocados
/churns the avocados to guacamole vainly trying to free himself
Gaaa! 
/spots a river of flaming vodka rolling towards him
/huffs and puffs trying to blow the vodka away
Fooo! Fooo! Fooo! Fooo! Fooo! (WHOOMPF) AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
/turns into a flailing carne asada X(
Wolves is the master of retail!!! Hhaha I work at a supermarket so I know everything.
/makes distracting noises over the P.A distracting everyone.
/Proceeds to then cover everyone in honey before disappearing over the shelves.
/me sneaks in and pull out a few santoku knives, a butcher knife and several throwing knives....
/me goes on the hunt....
![[RPA] Dendai](https://imperialconflict.com/forum/img/avatars/29966.gif)
Dendai, working third shift stock at the local super grocery store, knows the placement of every needed item.
/me creates a suit of armor from microwave doors and pans, with one large pot over his skull.
/me gets hammered on the vodka, not even thinking he could have created a molotov cocktail.
/me grabs a loaf of bread to use as a sword. too drunk to see its ineffectiveness against 500KG shopping carts.
/me barfs up the groundbeef
/me roasts a marshamllow over the flaming Yell 
/me eats salaman's marshmallow. 
The 500kg cart The Yell had shoved at Salamandastron squeaked its way into a self-checkout island. It smashed at 4 mph, bursting the straining metal sides like a fragmentation grenade. Shards of jagged metal pipes flew at Dunecat who was crouching nearby, snickering...
A box of Aunt Jemima pancake mix on top of the cart was shredded and hurled above The Yell's pyre. A thin cloud of powder fell towards the grisly marshmellow roast. The aerosol particulates caught the flames and exploded thermobarically in a lingering fireball that bulged the roof of the store... The blast caught chaosdarkmech like a rag doll, flinging him free of the shelf and ripping the flaming clothing off his body, hurling his flashburned ass through a freezer door...
Screaming in agony and now completely pissed off, Dunecat grabs some lighters, aerosol cans, and sharp things...
Using the sharp things to poke holes in the sides of the aerosol cans, then lighting the spray that comes out, he creates explosives. He then shoves an aerosol can down the throats of TheYell, Dendai, and Wolves. He then proceeds to run towards the staffroom...
Looking in the security guards locker, he finds a baton, and a gun. He then grabs the remaining aerosol cans, some duct tape, and proceeds to duct tape them to certain parts of the store. Around corners, inside of shelves, under counters, and some spots out in the open.
Dunecat now lies in wait, watching each and every one of his booby traps intently....
/Fokker returns from his cigarette break to find that his CS-charged (you can thank me later) baton and last-resort sidearm have been stolen from his locker
"Serves me right for using the store's own-brand padlocks, but that does not excuse such dishonourable behaviour," Fokker removes the steel rail from which his spare uniform hangs by a wire hanger from within the locker, and then goes to the drinks machine, "Chicken soup."
The angry Englishman armed with a traditional metal stick, and a boiling cupful of God's most toxic creation, peers through the keyhole of the staffroom door and sees no immediate threat, "Yippe-ki-ay!" He tears the door open and dives into the nearest display, a big bargain bucket of foil packed doritos, and silently hopes that he made it before anyones head could turn.
/Quickly vomits aerosol can.
/Ouch
/Again
/Finds sala and asks for an alliance.
/me allies with Wolves
/me shoves the marshmallow stick, from which Dendai stole his marshmallow, up Dendai's bum
/me laughs and runs away, with Wolves, to the seafood section
dun dun dunnnnnnn
Matt is still in the seafood section when he sees Wolves and Salamandastron approaching. A look of instant recognition flashes across his face.
Nevertheless, the rules are different this time; no one can be sure of anyone else's motives. He mentally takes note of the breadknife he had pilfered on his way to the seafood section and that is now sitting tucked in his belt - curse my compulsive kleptomania, he said to himself - and crouches warily, waiting for them to make the first move.
/Sees Matt.
/Screams like a little girl who has just received her first barbie doll house after being told she couldn't have it for her birthday but told her dad that was what she wanted and he said that the bills were to much and maybe later and she didn't know that he was a drunk bastard who took his wifes money she makes from her strip club job to pay for the drugs he then sold to other people.
/Coughs.
/*Manly deep voice, James Earl Jones style*
/Takes the left flank while pullin out the trusty magical honey botle which was still full.
/Proceeds to squirt honey at the speed of sound at Matt
Imperial Forum → Roleplay → battle arena grocery store
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