The following is in Trump talk, in the hope Americans can understand.
Look, I really appreciate Americans (Americans are really special - top notched, good folk; I've been to America many times - always a fantastic experience, just absolutely fantastic, especially the more south you go: the more south you go, the friendlier the Americans are, especially in Texas; which is really special, super great, super special place - nobody loves Texas more than me, seriously; trust me on that) - OK, all I'm saying by all these posts about whether or not Trumped finished taking the oath before noon is that some American - remember I've said that I love Americans, right? - some American who knows about such things, you know, constitutional stuff, could clarify this for me - just a concerned Canadian - just a little bro up north - you gotta stand by family, eh? Super important.... Yes, I know, I know, it might be hard (even though we're family) for Americans to imagine what Canadians go through - I get it - Really I do; it's got to be difficult for Americans to understand that for many Canadians winters are very long and cold; the point is that at some point our igloos start melting and we can't live in them, sometimes as early as February in some places - no joke, seriously - back in the day, it used to be that Canadians (not all Canadians live in igloos, of course, but many do, and more and more are doing this; I'll tell you why sometime) - many Canadians who live in igloos could live in their igloos until at least April in most places back in the day; I'm serious; that's a fact: I wouldn't lie about something like that - Look, I'm an honest guy, a straight-from-the-hip shooter; everybody says that about me - My favorite uncle - he was American, BTW - a great guy, the greatest, my favorite uncle; I said that - I just loved him to bits, just about everybody did: everybody called him papa bear back in the day, we all did - anyway, the point is, he always talked to people about how my 'moral compass' always seemed to point true north, so trust me when I say I love Americans! What was I talking about? Right, igloos. Look, having to move out of igloos seems to happen earlier and earlier each year for many Canadians (we won't get into the reasons for that just now and let that sleeping dog lie for now, eh?) - the point is that many Canadians who live in igloos in the winter live in tents when their igloos melt in the spring (I already said how it seems more and more Canadians are living in igloos and tents, eh? but, hey, again, we won't get into the reasons for that right now and let that sleeping dog lie, too) - the point is that one of the best places to tent for many Canadians is by the beach, and, well, you know, the best weather come spring and the best beaches for tenting are south of us, eh? (I'll tell you the best beach I ever went to was in Pensacola - or was it Panama City Florida - somewhere near the two - the sand: fabulous, just fantastic, so fine it squeaked between your toes) - anyway, since I'm Canadian, see, and well, since I like living in Canada, you know, because I am Canadian, but, I've already said it and you heard me say it; I've said it a thousand times: the best beaches for tenting, they're south of us, and you've heard me say how up here Canadians' igloos are melting earlier and earlier, eh? - so, look, what I'm saying is I like living in Canada and all, but come February when my igloo melts, I might - and I'm not saying anything definite here - just a possibility - I might - and many Canadians who live in igloos in the winter and tents by spring - they too might, MIGHT, just might - I said that, right? - they MIGHT like to go and pitch their springtime tents on beaches down south in America somewhere come spring (personally, I like Point Roberts - fabulous, really special beaches there, absolutely fabulous... - sure its not Pensacola or anything, but amazing in it's own way... Why? OK, I'll level with you: what's really special about tenting on a beach on Point Roberts is that it still feels like Canada there, and I'm Canadian, so, well, there you go. How does it feel 'Canadian' you might ask? Look. Some things just are, you know? Yeah, you know. Anyway, the point is that maybe - now I'm not saying this is 100% true - just maybe I have a very rare, complex psychological / psychiatric / neurological condition and I need totally legal, medicinal marijuana prescribed by a totally legit doctor - great guy - a fabulous doctor - treats me just amazingly - knows everything there is to know about rare psychological / psychiatric / neurological conditions - wait, so, just remember I said I am not saying 100% that I have some condition - I said IF I had such a condition - Look, it 'might be' Tinfoil Hat Syndrome - OK, so, all I'm saying is I might need to bring some of that weed with me to the beach down on Point Roberts (because without weed I might start looking around for tinfoil to make a hat of it and nobody wants to see that happen - trust me on that /wink /thumb-up) and so what I am saying is that I need a friendly American in the know about the US constitution and whatnot to tell me - just a friendly little bro up north - whether or not I'll be facing a military or a civil court when - oops - I mean IF - Did I say when? I said IF didn't I? Yes, you heard me say if - yes you did /points /winks - Look, all I want to know by making all these posts is IF I declare at the border I've brought my legally prescribed medicinal weed with me to go camping on Point Roberts, will they take my weed? Could I get thrown into a military prison, or will I get a chance to explain stuff to a civil law court judge?
/looks for some tinfoil