"Honestly, there was more overlap between the rhetoric used by Bush jr. on the eve of the Iraq invasion and the rhetoric used by Hitler, than between the rhetoric used by Putin and Hitler."
Hitler started with annexation of dutch speaking parts, and some of the arguments chamberlain used are the same as yours. Nazi Germany was a classic top down authoritarian regime like Putins. That is the analogy I want to make. Another large difference is US never owned and wanted to annex the region, Russia does.
"And did we stop the USA from invading Iraq? nope, we didnt, and we'll take this too, eventually. Coz, just as in the case of the Iraq invasion, theres simply nothing anyone can do about it, and noone is going to risk a breakdown of internation trade, leave alone a full-blown world war over such silly places as Iraq or Crimea."
They are so silly Putin would give it away but he accidentally invaded and risk his relations with the west. Once it started he forgot to blow it off. More urgent matters proly.
"In essence you're right, Russia is one huge criminal state. Question is, what shining beacon of hope do we have that DOES do it right ?"
None do it right, but many do it better.
"China with it's maoist government known for infractions on human rights and imprisoning political dissidents, and its unchecked economic growth that pollutes the environment for generations to come?"
China is another example of what happens if you let a non democratic regime go ahead.
"The USA that is a huge fascist police state (spying on its own population on a huge scale, patriot act, indoctrination of population with 'if youre not with us youre against us', no democracy at all - a 2-party system where you can choose between soft-touch liberalism and hard-touch liberalism is hardly democratic, Guantanamo, etcetc),"
Usa isn't as free as it once was and I regret it firmly, but it is far from being Russia and many things can be reversed still. You do exaggerate the existing steps towards totalitarianism that happened in US and EU. I do however share your concern here in general but that is another discussion.
"or the EU that is a powerless body made up of ever-bickering countries too small to pull any weight on their own and that keeps pouring money down the drain that is the dream of a unified europe without ever really unifying? Honestly, im not a fan of Putin either, but considering the alternatives, im still convinced the Crimeans can choose to join the Russians if thats what they really want. They knew fully well what they chose for."
No they don't know what they chose for. The only television or large part of the media in their language is owned by Putin. Its called brainwashing. Its risky to write in Russia even what you now wrote.
You should ask yourself this question: where do you want to live? That not-so-shiny-beacon or hell? EU/US or Russia/China?
"So is the USA and all European countries,"
If we had that amount of natural resources in EU we would all be as rich as Norway. That is why Russia doesn't collapse completely or is in the same state NK is.
"Russia is a democratic federation. Putin keeps being re-elected, sure, but the population keeps its right to vote."
Like in real Elections? Who are you fooling? Even if they were fair, he owns the media even more then Berlusconi did. I saw a lot of protest on the street and I saw why it died out: they are all in camps learning why Putins way is the right way. Also notice how ellections don't guarantee a good control system on the state.
"They're all particracies at best and corporatocracies at worst. "
But the control system still works despite the huge flaws and corruption. In Russia it doesn't.
"Yet, theres just as much wrong everywhere else"
Again, do you want to live there?? No you don't. Largely because of its regime. We wouldn't have this argument alright, but for me that would be a bad thing. 
"the Crimeans have CHOSEN to join Russia"
Like there is one big "The Crimeans"? Like in Tatars and Ukrainians and Russians? You don't even know what they really chose cause no-one was allowed there and they were only presented 2 options. I would have voted to go into Russia if I was there not to get picked up by the police later on. Even then people make mistakes, especially when bombarded with propaganda 24/7.
