The limit is at 40% now yes, but you have to differ between family NW and player NW, bekause there has been times that a player was attaked apparently on the 35% limit, the kause is a possible bug that enables the attak when that player does a non offensive op or sends a fleet but dont trigger (when you klik "prozeed with attak" you are losing the protektion, no matter you dont trigger it). I think mods are investigating the kause, but offizially are both at 40%.
For same reason the limit at wars are at 30%, but its bugged too, one of the last wars one of my small players was attaked at less than 20% the attaker NW. Not sure waht's triggering it, but other players over 30% were still protekted
War bonus does not inklude the NW limit, so if some family deklares on you and you dont deklare bak your players are still under the 40% rule, but still you get war bonus when attaking and lessen the morale spent. And I know this should be the other way, but logik and IK rules are different (or is it bugged too).
And yes the rules apply for supernova. You have a player you want to attak but NW rules wont let you, you deklare war on him but it still wont let you, despite he's more than 30% of yours, unless he kommits 'offensive' aktions on you.
The problem is to define "offensive aktions", bekause I think a simple PI will put him in your range 
I may be wrong, the game has zhanged a lot lately and there are hidden bugs in this NW rule we all should find out.