Topic: Upon Further Review....
....we here at Tim Hortons have decided to refuse coffee to:
1. anyone over the age of 8
2. anyone named Jack or Bill
3. anyone who showers more than once a week
4. anyone who showers less than once a week
5. anyone who doesn't bring exact change
6. anyone who isn't wearing a Teddy Bear costume
We feel this is for the best, as way too many weirdos were being given coffee. All other services/products will be given as per normal rules, except we have replaced all workers with giant mechanical cupcakes that fire lasers out of their nipples.
This public service announcement is brought to you by the letter R, the number 9, and the word "Ba-Donk-a-Donk."
Please disregard the post above, the person who typed it is mentally insane and has three heads. Yes, three.
