Re: hmm some help
how about here?:p
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Imperial Forum → Roleplay → hmm some help
how about here?:p
Well, since I've been where your at, I'd read it.
One pointer though: Once you get it on here, make sure to go through and space it out... it discourages people to read giant blocks of text.
It will always need editing, everything will... nothings perfect, but hey! Gotta keep trying ![]()
Post it here and enjoy. Remember to space out paragraphs due to this forum's inability for tab-spacing. ![]()
I just finished finals so I should have some time...
I remember when IP and I would compete to read the new stories and critique them... *sighs*
We were crazy.
What kind of help were you interested in?
It is nice, tho for an intro there is too much going on at once. Usually you should look to explaining the kingdom, its surroundings, its people a little. But dont give away too much. This could be chapter one but you should look into an intro, although you could just keep going the way you are going and explain things allong the way that is upto you.
I like it... though, yes, this is more of the begninnings of a chapter rather then an intro.
More? ![]()
Not finished it yet but you should really tell what kind of an age you are in.
Nah Ignore Aroc, he knows nothing
. Well I disagree, don't explicitly say what age your in. The slow rexpansion of your story is just about right. It does seem, to me, that you try to describe scenes too much. Light, glittering etc. The length is "slightly" long but not overly bothersome.
I know all things:p
I agree with Question, you should provide one scene and only say what changes in the next scene. Thats what I do usually. But yeah there are mutliple roads you can walk over. The one question said is also an option. Giving the reader bits of information so he wants more each time, although keeping one interested will get harder and harder
.
If you wrote it when you were twelve you should rewrite it.
On second thought these are a bit too long. Perhaps still try to break the chapters into two. It is an interesting read... but a bit long for forum posts.
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