Topic: There Is No God

........there is only CeilingCat!

What the heck am I talking about, right? Well, you've probably all saw those pics online where a lonely/bored/pathetic person put a caption on a picture of a cat in "lolspeak" which is apparently what cats think in.

Well someone is about 1000x as bored/lonely/pathetic because he is working on translating the WHOLE BIBLE into lolspeak, with Cats as his main source of pictures.

So you want to read this hilarious/strange bit of oddness, do you?

http://www.lolcatbible.com/index.php?title=Main_Page

What they've done is sub "CeilingCat" in for God and BasementCat in for the Devil.

Here's a snippet of Genesis 1:

"1 Oh hai. In teh beginnin Ceiling Cat maded teh skiez An da Urfs, but he did not eated dem.

2 Da Urfs no had shapez An haded dark face, An Ceiling Cat rode invisible bike over teh waterz.

3 At start, no has lyte. An Ceiling Cat sayz, i can haz lite? An lite wuz.4 An Ceiling Cat sawed teh lite, to seez stuffs, An splitted teh lite from dark but taht wuz ok cuz kittehs can see in teh dark An not tripz over nethin.5 An Ceiling Cat sayed light Day An dark no Day. It were FURST!!!1

6 An Ceiling Cat sayed, im in ur waterz makin a ceiling. But he no yet make a ur. An he maded a hole in teh Ceiling.7 An Ceiling Cat doed teh skiez with waterz down An waterz up. It happen.8 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has teh firmmint wich iz funny bibel naim 4 ceiling, so wuz teh twoth day.

9 An Ceiling Cat gotted all teh waterz in ur base, An Ceiling Cat hadz dry placez cuz kittehs DO NOT WANT get wet.10 An Ceiling Cat called no waterz urth and waters oshun. Iz good.

11 An Ceiling Cat sayed, DO WANT grass! so tehr wuz seedz An stufs, An fruitzors An vegbatels. An a Corm. It happen.12 An Ceiling Cat sawed that weedz ish good, so, letz there be weedz.13 An so teh threeth day jazzhands.

14 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has lightz in the skiez for splittin day An no day.15 It happen, lights everwear, like christmass, srsly.16 An Ceiling Cat doeth two grate lightz, teh most big for day, teh other for no day.17 An Ceiling Cat screw tehm on skiez, with big nails An stuff, to lite teh Urfs.18 An tehy rulez day An night. Ceiling Cat sawed. Iz good.19 An so teh furth day w00t.

20 An Ceiling Cat sayed, waterz bring me phishes, An burds, so kittehs can eat dem. But Ceiling Cat no eated dem.21 An Ceiling Cat maed big fishies An see monstrs, which wuz like big cows, except they no mood, An other stuffs dat mooves, An Ceiling Cat sawed iz good.22 An Ceiling Cat sed O hai, make bebehs kthx. An dont worry i wont watch u secksy, i not that kynd uf kitteh.23 An so teh...fith day. Ceiling Cat taek a wile 2 cawnt.

24 An Ceiling Cat sayed, i can has MOAR living stuff, mooes, An creepie tings, An otehr aminals. It happen so tehre.25 An Ceiling Cat doed moar living stuff, mooes, An creepies, An otehr animuls, An did not eated tehm.

26 An Ceiling Cat sayed, letz us do peeps like uz, becuz we ish teh qte, An let min p0wnz0r becuz tehy has can openers.

27 So Ceiling Cat createded teh peeps taht waz like him, can has can openers he maed tehm, min An womin wuz maeded, but he did not eated tehm.

28 An Ceiling Cat sed them O hai maek bebehs kthx, An p0wn teh waterz, no waterz An teh firmmint, An evry stufs.

29 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, the Urfs, I has it, An I has not eated it.30 For evry createded stufs tehre are the fuudz, to the burdies, teh creepiez, An teh mooes, so tehre. It happen. Iz good.

31 An Ceiling Cat sayed, Beholdt, teh good enouf for releaze as version 0.8a. kthxbai. "




big_smile

Please disregard the post above, the person who typed it is mentally insane and has three heads. Yes, three.

Re: There Is No God

pure win tongue

Not many people know this, but I own the first radio in Springfield. Not much on the air then, just Edison reciting the alphabet over and over. "A" he'd say; then "B." "C" would usually follow...

Re: There Is No God

sealingcat ftw

♥ SEXY RA ♥

Re: There Is No God

And yes, there is a church.

www.lolcatchurch.com


My personal favourite:

Psalms 23:

1 Ceiling Cat iz mai sheprd (which is funni if u knowz teh joek about herdin catz LOL.)
He givz me evrithin I need.

2 He letz me sleeps in teh sunni spot
an haz liek nice waterz r ovar thar.

3 He makez mai soul happi
an maeks sure I go teh riet wai for him. Liek thru teh cat flap insted of out teh opin windo LOL.

4 I iz in teh valli of dogz, fearin no pooch,
bcz Ceiling Cat iz besied me rubbin' mah ears, an it maek me so kumfy.

5 He letz me sit at teh taebl evn when peepl who duzint liek me iz watchn.
He givz me a flea baff an so much gooshy fud it runz out of mai bowl LOL.

6 Niec things an luck wil chase me evrydai
an I wil liv in teh Ceiling Cats houz forevr

Please disregard the post above, the person who typed it is mentally insane and has three heads. Yes, three.

Re: There Is No God

From Matthew 1:

Da burth of Jebus

18 Now, teh burth of teh Christ was liek dis: After Marry and Joseph waz all "We's gonna get marrieded, kthnx", but before dey could had hankiez pankiez Mary was all preggarz from Teh Ceiling Cat.19 Joseph was liek "I has virjn - NOOOO dey be stealin my virjn! Must hied hur".20 But when he was tihnkin, zomg, a BirdCat frm Ceiling Cat was liek, "Oh hai! Iz in ur dreemz, givin u messij. Don be scairdy cat. Taek Mary as ur wife - is virjn. But teh Forse is strong in tihs wun, lol! HovrCat is on hur, givn hur feetus, srsly." So Joseph was liek " Oh yey. Iz gonna luv him and squeez him and call him George."21 But BirdCat was liek "No, you gonna call him bahbeh Jebus, cso George bad name, srsly. cuz he save kittehs frum bein bad kittehs. Kthxbai."22 So all dis was all did cuz Ceiling Cat had sed it wud be. Him proffit was all liek:23 "Hay guise, luk! teh virjn is all preggers, and dey gonna call him A-manual", dat be joospeek for "Ceiling Cat wit us"24 Then Joseph walked up, dun wat teh BirdCat frm Ceiling Cat tolded him too, and was all liek "U wit me now lol" at Mary.25 And dey didnt has Hankiez Pankiez til affer dey gets a son and calleded him Jebus Christ. Kthnx.

Please disregard the post above, the person who typed it is mentally insane and has three heads. Yes, three.

Re: There Is No God

this is like the church of the FSM, good stuff

> Justinian I wrote:
> Ouro,
Even though you were the first one to arrive at the scene who clearly pwned Einstein and showed how biased he is, you are an outright arsehole.

Re: There Is No God

i know smile Flying Spaghetti Monster RULES!

Please disregard the post above, the person who typed it is mentally insane and has three heads. Yes, three.

Re: There Is No God

inb4 ceiling cat is watching u masturbate

<parrot> there is also the odd  possibility that tryme is an idiot
<KT> possibility?
<genesis> tryme is a bit of an idiot
<Torqez> bit?