Scaramanga was finishing his exposition. "So the net of it is, gentlemen, that we need to find ten million bucks. The interests I represent, which are the majority interests, suggest that this sum should be provided by a note issue, bearing interest at ten percent and repayable in ten years, such an issue to have priority over all other loans."
The voice of Mr. Rotkopf broke in angrily. "The hell it will! Not on your life, mister. What about the seven percent second mortgage put up by me and my friends only a year back? What do you think I'd get if I went back to Vegas with that kind of parley? The old heave-ho! Arid at that I'm being optimistic."
"Beggars can't be choosers, Ruby. It's that or close. What have you other fellows got to say?"
Hendriks said, "Ten percent on a first charge is good pizzness. My friends and I will take one million dollars. On the understanding, it is natural, that the conditions of the issue are, how shall I say, more substantial, less open to misunderstandings, than the second mortgage of Mr. Rotkopf and his friends."
"Of course. And I and my friends will also take a million. Sam?"
Mr. Binion said reluctantly, "Okay, okay. Count us in for the same. But by golly this has got to be the last touch."
"Mr. Gengerella?"
"It sounds a good bet. I'll take the rest."
The voices of Mr. Garfinkel and Mr. Paradise broke in excitedly, Garfinkel in the lead. "Like hell you will! I'm taking a million."
"And so am I," shouted Mr. Paradise. "Cut the cake equally. But dammit. Let's be fair to Ruby. Ruby, you oughta have first pick. How much do you want? You can have it off the top."
"I don't want a damned cent of your phoney notes. As soon as I get back, I'm going to reach for the best damned lawyers in the States-all of them. You think you can scrub a mortgage just by saying so, you've all got another think coming."
There was silence. The voice of Scaramanga was soft and deadly. "You're making a big mistake, Ruby. You've just got yourself a nice fat tax loss to put against your Vegas interests. And don't forget that when we formed this Group, we all took an oath. None of us was to operate against the interests of the others. Is that your last word?"
"It damn well is."
"Would this help you change your mind? They've got a slogan for it in Cuba-Rapido! Seguro! Economica! This is how the system operates."
The scream of terror and the explosion were simultaneous. A chair crashed to the floor and there was a moment's silence. Then someone coughed nervously. Mr. Gengerella said calmly, "I think that was the correct solution of an embarrassing conflict of interests. Ruby's friends in Vegas like a quiet life. I doubt if they will even complain. It is better to be a live owner of some finely engraved paper than to be a dead holder of a second mortgage. Put them in for a million, Pistol. I think you behaved with speed and correctness. Now then, can you clean this up?"
The core joke of Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy is that of course no civilization would develop personal computers with instant remote database recovery, and then waste this technology to find good drinks.
Steve Jobs has ruined this joke.