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kemp: these jokes take the form of yomomma jokes, or even chuck norris.... are these not jokes?
While Yomamma and Chuck Norris jokes are very hot-or-miss (the ones made up by mentally challenged 10 year olds tending to be "misses" more often), they have a higher than 0% rate of being funny. And they generally have an intention of trying to be funny. The creator of the content in the first post was not trying to be funny. He used one "if you..." convention as a vehicle to make an ignorant rant. Anyone who finds it funny is really missing out on humor in life. And anyone who claims that it was written in the name of humor is just... well, that's not my problem.
@You_Fool
A joke generally is a witty way to imply an assumption. They need that slow buildup until finally reaching the punchline.
Or, in the form of "yo momma" jokes, the formula generally calls for some form of witty hyperbole to express the initial point (the buildup is "yo momma so fat...")
Avignon's posts were simply yelling out said assumptions. If the humor was meant in the conventional sense of "humor," what he did was the equivalent of the following blonde joke:
Blondes are stupid.
It loses its appeal at that point.
WFS the Haikus were Haikus, the jokes were jokes, and the compression method is my property and does work.
As for the quoted text.
Al Gore stands to make 1 billion dollars in 3 years once Cap and Trade passes. Yes that is profit, not gross reciepts.
Obama loaned Brazil 1 billion dollars (no interest) to help them drill a new oil find, they plan to sell the oil at a profit to the United States.
The United States has more light sweet crude oil, heavy crude oil, shale oil, tar sands oil, and coal reserves located than all the rest of the worlds known current supplies combined. Why not use that billion here and help keep costs down and money inside the United States?
Your hatred of me shows by singling me out btw.
How many others say this is not humor?
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xdahX_rrqBY
Yo momma so fat they mistook her for a galaxy!
Yo momma so stupid she thinks milk duds are soured milk balls.
Yo momma so stupid she gave you "good joke" points for what you just said!
Yo mommas so stupid she thought the first few posts were jokes!
Oh foshizzle!
just as funny as the orginal 'jokes'
Zarf: I didn't mean to imply that the first post was jokes, but they are as much a 'joke' as flint's thread that WFS linked too, and as much a joke as most Yomomma type jokes...
Though i always found it funny the one "yo momma so fat she should fun around herself for exercise"
Wow. you guys are a bunch of overly sensitive bitches. Some of you are really upset over this thread. I think its pathetic the way a few of you are reacting to this. If none of those statements are true and they lack substance or fact, why are you so upset about them? you ever heard the saying "Thou dost protest too much" ?
A normal person would of said "yea whatever" and moved on with their lives. But not you guys. One has to surmise that there is a bit of truth or fact in some of those 'jokes'. If there wasnt, ya'll wouldnt be so upset by them and protesting the thread and its very existance. Truth stings doesnt it? Dont wanna let the masses know what the Republicans are all about, right?
Funny thing is: i can give a shit less about politics. Im just tired of listening to Republicans piss and moan cuz Obama won the election. Well guess what guys...
HE WON THE GOD DAMN ELECTION! GET OVER IT! GET OVER YOURSELVES!! DEAL WITH IT YOU BIG (CENSORED) BABIES!!
You republicans have been acting like spoiled little children ever since he won the election. You didnt get your way so now you throw a temper tantrum. GROW THE F UP!! Accept the facts. OBAMA WON THE ELECTION!! Now you have to act like adults and move on with your lives. It will be ok.
AA: do shut up and let the adults do the talking, you may of not noticed but this thread has moved on from your rather childish original post...
>>Truth stings doesnt it? Dont wanna let the masses know what the Republicans are all about, right? <<
I told you he wasn't joking. 
We're making fun of you for thinking that any of those statements in the first post "sting" Republicans. DarkAvangion is the only person I've seen upset in this thread. Now he's on a tirade against Republicans who have been whining since Obama won the election... Does anybody know any? I don't know any. I feel bad for him if he knows people that weird.
I'm sorry if pointing out that your post embarrasses yourself upsets you. Fortunately, it is not my problem. Carry on! 
everyone of ya needs to smoke a joint and lighten up. you guys take this crap way too seriously. Ya'll need to chill.
It's sad you limit humour to distinguishable and determined forms, as it doesn't limit itself to conventions. I won't say it's funny, but it's defenatly humour..
Kemp: I know one, Flint.... possibly you, though thats a little subjective around if you are whining because Obama won or just whining.... if he is still alive JA and BW will be whining plenty since Obama won too....
If you want to make the argument that our spending is sustainable and Obama has made wise decisions (and thus accuse me of "whining"), make it in the appropriate place. I haven't "whined" that Obama won. Nor will I embarrass myself responding to the fantasies of children.
I think it's sad that you find such nonsense to be humorous, WFS.
Ahhh, so art is a pile of cow poo in a box is it?
Money is obviously including deer pellets also?
Aircraft should not be considered only flying vehivlees, but bicycles to?
And consnensual sex should include rape?
A joke is a joke, and in this case the ones calling this a joke are the jokes.
"I think it's sad that you find such nonsense to be humorous, WFS."
Quite the opposite, I think. Seeing the humour in things is something that should be cherished..
But do mind the difference in seeing the humour in things and finding something funny.
"Ahhh, so art is a pile of cow poo in a box is it?"
If you turn it around, "La Merda d'artista" comes awfully close to that. 
Obama wonnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnn 
Oh well...
In my opinion moderates who read this thread will be disgusted by the mods, and this means they will be more amicable to Conservatives like me.
The only way to prevent that is to place it where it belongs, politics.
But since the mods won't, I get to laugh.
It's just like homeland security calling terrorist attacks 'man caused disasters'
It plays exceptionally well with hardcore lefties, gets giggles from semi lefties, makes moderates go 'wtf are they smoking' and energizes the right like no tomorrow.
My thanks mods for digging your heels (velvet high heels in pink?) In so deeply. You help me with your intractability.
Obviously your thinking 'we have a one up' while now I am laughing.
![[TI] Primo](https://imperialconflict.com/forum/img/avatars/711.jpg)
Boohoo Flint, things aren't going the way you want them to be, and you cry like a little girl.
Seriously, grow up.
Republicans in Hell
While walking down the street one day, a Republican head of state is tragically hit by a truck and dies. His soul arrives in heaven and is met by St. Peter at the entrance.
"Welcome to Heaven," says St. Peter. "Before you settle in, it seems there is a problem. We seldom see a high official around these parts, you see, so we're not sure what to do with you."
"No problem, just let me in." says the Republican.
"Well, I'd like to but I have orders from higher up. What we'll do is have you spend one day in Hell and one in Heaven. Then you can choose where to spend eternity."
"Really, I've made up my mind. I want to be in Heaven," says the Republican head of state.
"I'm sorry but we have our rules." And with that, St. Peter escorts the Republican to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. The doors open and he finds himself in the middle of a green golf course. In the distance is a club and standing in front of it are all his friends and other politicians who had worked with him, everyone is very happy and in evening dress. They run to greet him, hug him, and reminisce about the good times they had while getting rich at expense of the people. They play a friendly game of golf and then dine on lobster and caviar. Also present is the Devil (a Republican, too), who really is a very friendly guy who has a good time dancing and telling jokes.
They are having such a good time that, before he realizes it, it is time to go. Everyone gives him a big hug and waves while the elevator
rises. The elevator goes up, up, up and the door reopens on Heaven where St. Peter is waiting for him.
"Now it's time to visit Heaven." So 24 hours pass with the Republican head of state joining a group of contented souls moving from cloud to cloud, playing the harp and singing. They have a good time and, before he realizes it, the 24 hours have gone by and St. Peter returns.
"Well then, you've spent a day in Hell and another in Heaven. Now choose your eternity."
He reflects for a minute, then the head of state answers: "Well, I would never have thought it, I mean Heaven has been delightful, but I think I would be better off in Hell."
So Saint Peter escorts him to the elevator and he goes down, down, down to Hell. Now the doors of the elevator open and he is in the middle of a barren land covered with waste and garbage. He sees all his friends, dressed in rags, picking up the trash and putting it in black bags. The Devil comes over to the Republican and lays an arm on his neck.
"I don't understand," stammers the Republican head of state. Yesterday I was here and there was a golf course and club and we ate lobster and caviar and danced and had a great time. Now all there is a wasteland full of garbage and my friends look miserable.
The Devil looks at him, smiles and says, "Yesterday we were campaigning. Today you voted for us!"
New Republican Definitions
alternative energy sources
n. New locations to drill for gas and oil.
bankruptcy
n. A punishable crime when committed by poor people but not corporations
Cheney, Dick
n. The greater of two evils.
class warfare
n. Any attempt to raise the minimum wage.
climate change
n. The day when the blue states are swallowed by the oceans.
compassionate conservatism
n. Poignant concern for the very wealthy.
DeLay, Tom
n. 1. Past tense of De Lie 2. Patronage saint.
democracy
n. So extensively exported that the domestic supply is depleted.
Fox News
fict. Faux news.
free markets
n. Halliburton no-bid contracts at taxpayer expense.
God
n. Senior presidential adviser.
growth
n. 1. The justification for tax cuts for the rich. 2. What happens to the national debt when Republicans cut taxes on the rich.
gun control
n. The index finger, usually on the right hand. No other definitions or usage.
habeas corpus
n. Archaic. (Lat.) Legal term no longer in use (See Patriot Act).
healthy forest
n. No tree left behind.
honesty
n. Lies told in simple declarative sentences--e.g., "Freedom is on the march."
House of Representatives
n. Exclusive club; entry fee $1 million to $5 million.
laziness
n. When the poor are not working.
leisure time
n. When the wealthy are not working.
liberal(s)
n. Followers of the Anti-christ.
neoconservatives
n. Nerds with Napoleonic complexes.
9/11
n. Tragedy used to justify any administrative policy. (see Terra, Terra, Terra)
No Child Left Behind
riff. 1. v. There are always jobs in the military.
ownership society
n. A civilization where 1 percent of the population controls 90 percent of the wealth.
Patriot Act
n. The pre-emptive strike on American freedoms to prevent the terrorists from destroying them first.
pro-life
adj. Valuing human life until birth.
Senate
n. Exclusive club; entry fee $10 million to $30 million.
simplifiy
v. To cut the taxes of Republican donors.
staying the course
interj. Slang. Saying and doing the same stupid thing over and over, regardless of the result.
voter fraud
n. A significant minority turnout.
Wal-Mart
n. The nation-state, future tense.
water
n. Arsenic storage device.
Now i expect a list of retorts from Chris
Einstien must throw a child's temper tantrum
You Fool and V.Kemp needs to insult me for posting this in the first place.
Wild Flower Soul needs to post something artsy and smart.
Zarf needs to analyze exactly what it is i posted and try to dissect the reasons why i posted this and how best to respond.
K go!!
ROFL!!
a republican and democrat got blown up by terrorists and ended up before St. Peter.
St. Peter said, "I have room for only one more soul, so only one of you can come in. I'll let the two of you work it out."
The Democrat said "Wait, I voted for fairness and social justice. I helped steal from the earners and give to people who never worked. I killed jobs to keep swamps and prairies still and undisturbed. I told blacks and hispanics that everybody really hated them and only force and anger could save them from genocide. I taught women that free sex and abortion were more beautiful than a strong marriage and motherhood. I wrecked all private alternatives to a government that did nothing right. I helped destroy America in payment for its crimes. Clearly I have earned heaven, and this Republican can go to Hell."
The Republican said "heya Pete, where's Jesus? Haven't seen him since Sunday."
And the Democrat laughed and said "You sorry sonuvabitch, it's pronounced hay-ZOOZ" and he was deported to Mexico.
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