I know the truth! Skyro isn't a vampire! He's a vampiress!

I thoroughly enjoyed my DnD campaigns. I've done some crazy stuff. Lesse, We had a half man/half boat character in our party. As he said, "You know when a sailor is on the high seas alone? You know those holes in the side of the boat? Yeah...By the way, he has a half brother that's a boat with a arm for a mast that can raise and lower. It raises on a daily basis with his middle finger pointed up at the sky to say F YOU GOD! F YOU!" Consequently, a battle occurred later in which I had him transform and then we all climbed in him and we cast a levitation spell and floated down.

Another time, we had him as a dwarven bard with a band. And what were his skills? The ability to charm people, especially men, and the ability to make grass grow 8 ft high. First 20 minutes, I get hit in the face with an axe, partner attacks the lvl 1 gnoll, misses. Dwarven bard jump kicks gnoll as I stand up, then gnoll is kicked into me. My health hits 0. My partner fumbles, loses his sword. Bard dances, makes the grass grow 8 ft. Partner can't find sword. Bard's partner casts dancing lights or some such, setting the grass on fire, (ranger) scaring his bear (named Barry) and the gnoll. Finally, the gnoll slips and falls on my partners sword, killing itself on a rock. All of us being lvl 3 and the gnoll lvl 1. 4 of us, plus a bear. Sad.

Another occasion my character died, and Tom, the bard/boatman, is a bard who can sing 2 songs at once. So he proclaims to the people, "Good people! I will perform a great deed tonight, in the midst of this blazing tavern on fire behind me. I WILL RAISE THE DEAD!" So, he raises my dead body with an animate dead spell, and declares "It's a miracle! Let us rejoice with song and dance! I will spin a tune for this miraculous wonder!" And he entrances them all, then points to the burning tavern, "LOOK CHILDREN! BALLOONS!!!!" Children run and burn, parents get upset, then he points again and tells the parents "LOOK! A MARRIED GAY COUPLE ATTEMPTING TO ADOPT AN AFRICAN CHILD!!!" Then they burn.

We're some sick people.

> Justinian I wrote:

> I'm poor living off of $400/mo, live in the US, and my only complaints are that I can no longer afford a car, strippers and alcohol.

The reason I'm poor is because working full time is no fun.

when were you able to afford strippers? and when did you own a car? I thought you had a bike and a dog

they spit alot because they have to be a certain weight in order to wrestle in their desired weight class. So, in order to lose weight, they spit. Alot. Like, every 10-20 seconds. Yeah. It's crazy. The one's I knew carried water bottles around with them.

I was just responding to youranus, nemmy

WAIT! I've been going about this all wrong! I shouldn't be humping KT, I should be shoving her! OF COURSE! IT'S SO SIMPLE!!!

I can give a speech about whats wrong with society, does that help?

/me humples Anna, where have you been all my life?!

Americans are idiots, but not this stupid. As to 'Einstein' here sounding communist? All republicans are communist, the question is, how extreme?

he's running for I'm a [belligerently silly] genius, vote for me!

hmm, no more auto-edits?

You know, I'm all about killing people who do bad things to pets, but I mean, animals do not have rights technically speaking. If you want to be technical, we can look at this in the human way. Slaves did not have rights except for that which their owners gave to them. Blacks had limited rights (as did Women) in the early to mid 1900's. Took the civil rights movement for them to get rights. They had to GAIN rights technically speaking because others didn't "give" them rights. You don't have rights until someone gives you those rights. Once someone gives you rights, then you have rights. Animals only have the rights people give to them. Notice animals are abused but do little about it while humans are all, DON'T ABUSE ANIMALS BLAH BLAH BLAH. Yeah.

I say we just cause another bubonic plague. That solves all problems.